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castrovulcant · 2 hours
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the worst part ab having online friends is that to maintain the friendship you actually sort of have to have conversations with them. if we were all irl friends i would invite you into my home, give u my xbox controller & let u play a game on my bed while i lie next to u and coexist in ur space and backseat game you
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castrovulcant · 5 hours
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Mutuals every time we’re all online this is what we’re doing
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castrovulcant · 11 hours
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soappppp
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castrovulcant · 14 hours
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castrovulcant · 17 hours
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I went to the library to borrow some DVDs we're planning to watch, but when I handed the librarian my card, it took me a solid 15 seconds to register that I handed her my fucking weed card.
Me, fumbling to swap it out: "OH MY GOD, I AM SO SORRY, I was on total autopilot!!"
The librarian: "It's all good, I just assumed it was a flex."
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castrovulcant · 20 hours
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[Image description: text that says, "No way to prevent this says only computer user who this regularly happens to." /end image description]
this is the fourth time my cat has pressed the power button on my computer and turned it off
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castrovulcant · 23 hours
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Yknow it's easy to joke about the irony of Data being like "I do not experience emotion and that makes me very sad" because being sad is an emotion but also like. Anybody else notice how "I feel completely numb and vaguely upset" is just being, like, clinically depressed. Is the robot okay
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castrovulcant · 1 day
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imagine: you get your memories back after years of amnesia to find out your whole species is dead and earth doesn’t exist anymore. that the only thing left of your culture is your weird ex and his busted honda civic that barely even works that he stole from the government when he was 13. And he’s been taking members of an alien species for trips in his honda civic and they’re all like “woah it’s so cool” and you get upset because it’s NOT COOL it’s a honda civic, the turn signals don’t even work “wow it can go up hills” yeah OF COURSE IT CAN GO UP HILLS EVERY CAR COULD DO THAT. but they’ve never seen a car before so everything it does is the coolest thing ever. And your ex’s only tool is a fucking screwdriver which is somehow also cool to this dumbass alien species even though it’s a fucking screwdriver so you just look like an idiot screaming about how none of this is even cool it’s actually really shitty but your whole planet is gone so you can’t even prove it but also you’ve had a constant drumming sounding in your head since you were 10 slowly driving you insane. I would become evil too.
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castrovulcant · 1 day
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*sees a character/media bracket post* i must not vote arbitrarily for the one i know. I must not bias this poll any further on pure popularity. I must consider the other side
*sees mutual tags telling me who to vote for* right away captain
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castrovulcant · 1 day
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you ever like go to make a post on here but as you’re typing suddenly every single possible misinterpretation and nitpicking argument that can and will be made on it flashes before your eyes and ur like ok nvm close post
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castrovulcant · 2 days
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I’m so sorry but in the nicest way possible do yall actually read books or just read words??? Cause I’ve been seeing that trend of people not understanding how “snarled” and “eyes darkened” and “eyes softened” etc. was used in a book and like…
Genuinely, do yall just not have imagination?? Or not understand figurative language??? Also eyes do literally darken and soften have you not lived a life??? How do you read with no imagination? Is this how you get through so many books in one month - you simply don’t take the time the understand the words as they are read?
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castrovulcant · 2 days
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good morning but at what cost
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castrovulcant · 2 days
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reblog if you like your blorbo covered in blood
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castrovulcant · 2 days
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WHERE IS THAT POST ABOUT "YOU'RE GONNA GO FAR, KID" I JUST WANNA TALK
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castrovulcant · 2 days
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not being in any of the same fandoms as your mutuals but being excited for/with them when something happens within said fandoms
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castrovulcant · 2 days
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auto suggest bewilders me
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castrovulcant · 2 days
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“Why did you follow this person ? uwu”
I’ve been here for fourteen years, do you think I remember? I don’t know who any of these people are anymore. I don’t know why they’re on my dash. I allow them to stay because they haven’t pissed me off enough to unfollow them yet. “Why did you follow this person?” I’m not sure I ever did. They’re just part of my ecosystem now.
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