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callmepippin · 23 hours
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Slight dilemma with your spitroast fantasy: The guys are gonna want a chance to cum in both your mouth and your pussy so there has to be at least two rounds. I'm currently trying to think of excuses to add rounds 3 and beyond.
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*scribbling noises*
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callmepippin · 23 hours
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What does an inconvenienced slice of cheese say? Gouda grief
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callmepippin · 2 days
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Author unknown:
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callmepippin · 2 days
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You’d look cuter on your knees slapping my cock against your tongue
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callmepippin · 2 days
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Size niches of life on Earth
by u/OfferAffectionate625
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callmepippin · 2 days
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mental illness and neurodivergence is like a package deal
you have one? no you don't you have five
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callmepippin · 2 days
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callmepippin · 2 days
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callmepippin · 2 days
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I'm sorry what the fuck did you just say ??? This has to be fake.
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callmepippin · 2 days
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callmepippin · 4 days
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"We call it vff," said the alien. "It's - it's hard to describe to a species without vffsense. Imagine trying to describe light to a species that never evolved eyes. But there are forms of life that are only perceptible with vffsense, and they've visited Earth and fed on life as long as it's existed here."
There was a pause.
Then the human said, "That's the worst thing you've ever said."
"Don't worry about it."
"I think I have to, now."
"No, because - well - you have a species of spider which pretends to be an ant, correct? It's not capable of understanding the fact that it's mimicking an ant, but it instinctually mimics an ant in order to deter predators."
"Sure?"
"Humans produce a vff to mimic varths, predators only perceptible through vffsense. The organisms that would like to feed on you are terrified of varths, and so they leave you alone. You aren't aware you do it, you don't have the capacity to understand you're doing it, but you evolved to instinctually do it to deter predators you can't see."
There was a pause.
Then the human said in a very soft and thoughtful voice, "And are there varths on Earth?"
"Yes," said the alien. "Everywhere. But don't worry about it."
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callmepippin · 5 days
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This website is too mobile focused these days. Reblog and tell me what your desktop/laptop background is.
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callmepippin · 5 days
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when i say cocks i always mean straps as well btw .. all cocks .. any cocks .. these holes are equal opportunity for all
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callmepippin · 5 days
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Shamelessly stolen off facebook
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And transmasc version I made because it's scarily accurate
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callmepippin · 5 days
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callmepippin · 5 days
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i remember adults telling me, as a kid, to listen to doctors and get my flu vaccine and any shots i could because they remembered Before.
then they started fighting Covid precautions.
i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that the ozone was disappearing and the earth was dying and we needed to recycle and save the planet.
now my parents think climate change is a myth.
i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that racism was a plague, that we had to love and accept everyone, that we should never judge before walking a mile in their shoes.
then they told me that protesting for my Black siblings was wrong.
i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that we needed to give to the poor. working at soup kitchens. making quilts. collecting food and money and supplies. building houses. because it was the christian and just plain right thing to do.
now they look at me, on food stamps with their grandchildren, and lament the "welfare state".
i remember adults telling me, as a kid, that it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven and that any rich man, especially an immoral one, should never run our country.
you can guess who they voted for.
i remember adults telling me, as a kid, so very much.
when did they forget?
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callmepippin · 5 days
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The culture is so bad all the songs are made from samples of old songs all the movies are remakes of movies that didn’t need to be remade everyone gets surgery to look the same
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