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caintooth · 6 hours
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Kate Baer, from And Yet: Poems; “Idea”
[Text ID: “I will enjoy this life. I will open it like a peach in season, suck the juice from every finger, run my tongue over my chin. I will not worry about clichés or uninvited guests peering in my windows. I will love and be loved. Save and be saved a thousand times. I will let the want into my body, bless the heat under my skin. My life, I will not waste it. I will enjoy this life.”]
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caintooth · 6 hours
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My Most Haunted Roll Of Film Yet
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caintooth · 6 hours
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I'm watching a video essay about a game ive been interested in playing. The creator of the video, who has crossdressed multiple times, makes a "women arent funny" joke, and i suddenly realize ive never witnessed him acknowledge a woman in an uplifting way before.
I'm on a dating app for lgbt+ people. I've stated multiple times on my profile that i would rather lose an arm than recieve nudes without consent. I will be sent five dick pics for every 2 people i talk to that night.
I'm talking with my dad, who informs me he's been trying his best to learn about trans issues. He says the same things steven crowder brings up when trying to ridicule trans people. I gently but firmly correct my father and get told that ive been fed propaganda.
I'm on instagram, under the comments of a post ridiculing someone for being a misogynyst. Someone's left a comment saying "it must be hard being a woman on the internet" and i respond "it is." I will have every aspect of my appearance scrutinized as a reminder that no matter how well i pass, it will never be enough for someone with bad intentions.
I'm back on that dating app for lgbt+ people. I'm messaged by an attractive looking person, but i can see their partner prominently displayed in all but their main photo, oftentimes striking what im sure they thought was a very intimidating pose. Their bio says "looking for a third for our anniversary." I know that even if I did feel up to it, the gruff partner wouldnt approve of me because i don't pass.
I'm at a job interview for a clothing store. I tell the gracefully-dressed woman interviewing me that ever since i began my transition, i've discovered an interest in fashion, and that this job would allow me to dip my toes into the industry in a safe way. I'm told that i've reduced womanhood to a stereotype, and i can tell by her tone that i lost any chance at the job the minute she realized i was trans.
I'm at the same hospital i got facial feminization surgery in, trying to figure out what's wrong with my bowels. When the person behind the desk gives me a wristband with my patient info on it, i notice a single, lonely, letter M. I ask a nurse in private why it would say that despite me having changed it nearly a year prior. They say they have no clue, and bring in paperwork for me to fill out and have it re-changed again.
I'm living with my mom at the time. I'm new to transitioning, and decide to try my hand at voice training. It feels a bit off, but otherwise im feeling neutral toward the whole thing. I try speaking in this new voice to my mom and she laughs. Now, when people ask if i intend to voice train, i find speaking at all difficult for minutes after.
I didnt have some sort of grand message to convey by this. I just had a thought and then that thought spiralled into whatever the hell this became. Some, okay most, might call it complaining; they are right to do so.
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caintooth · 6 hours
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MISS CONGENIALITY (2000) dir. Donald Petrie
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caintooth · 6 hours
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caintooth · 6 hours
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The future is a benevolent black hole.
Sagittarius A* / Kathy Acker, Pussy, King of the Pirates / Outer Wilds (2020) / Is There a God-Shaped Hole at the Heart of Mathematics? / Drain for overflowing water at Sambuco Dam, Lavizzara Valley / ? / Thomasin Frances, Hole Theory (15/10/2022) / Bryan’s Ground, a public garden in Herefordshire on the Welsh border. / odd, weird, strange and unusual / Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves / Illustration of the Annular Eclipse of 1836 from “A fourteen weeks course in descriptive astronomy”, Joel Dorman Steele (1836-1886) / @imdad_barbhuyan on Instagram / The moon’s Copernicus crater. Through magic glasses. 1890. / Kaveh Akbar / Darina Muravjeva, Hole / Hilde Heynen in Heterotopia and the City / x / Leonard Cohen, Beautiful Losers / x /  Louise Glück, from Descending Figure / Anne Carson, Eros the Bittersweet: An Essay. / Caitlyn Siehl, What We Buried; from “A Letter To Love” / Lara de Moor, Orb (2014) / Sam Sax, Pig / The National - Wake Up Your Saints / Aleksander Rostov / Sanna Wani, from “Princess Mononoke (1997)”, My Grief, the Sun / Gregory Orr, [i want to go back] / James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room / Massive sinkhole swallows house in Florida / Edna St Vincent Millay, in Letters (1952) /Silent Hill 4 (2004) / Anne Boyer, What Resembles the Grave But Isn’t / Law of Holes / Scarlet Hollow (2021) / Lucy Dacus - Cartwheel
(part one)
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caintooth · 6 hours
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monogamous people who get defensive or outright combative when polyamory is brought up could probably stand to be told that they could actually change their perspectives somewhat if they put in actual effort. i do not have any more patience for people who are too comfortable in the thought that the ideas they've been fed about exclusivity and commitment all their life are somehow uniquely theirs, nor do i have patience for the handful of trite remarks they make about polyamory in attempts to feel clever about taking one of the most lukewarm stances in existence on something
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caintooth · 8 hours
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caintooth · 9 hours
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the dogboy thing is a much of a sex thing as it is an autism thing
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caintooth · 9 hours
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a couple of starry sphinxes
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caintooth · 9 hours
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and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?
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caintooth · 9 hours
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Horse figure of the day: Trail of Painted Ponies "The Unicorn's Garden"
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caintooth · 9 hours
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vintage lantern charms with pearls
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caintooth · 9 hours
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Dragons Fucking Car I (Relief), 2016     Jon Rafman
White Carrara Marble 152 x 126 x 20 cm 59 7/8 x 49 5/8 x 7 7/8 in                                    
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caintooth · 9 hours
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Study break? More snoopy Dinluke 🐶🥜
(Closeups below!)
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caintooth · 9 hours
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someone just drove by so fucking fast blasting claire de lune??????
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caintooth · 9 hours
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okay hii sorry to do this again but uhh i need some money for my pain management. i'd ideally like to get $50, anything is hugely helpful
v/mo: @shroomyjr
p/p: @cinnyb (<- my girlfriend)
ca: $hollyisarealgirl (<- also girlfriend. i do not have cashapp.)
0/50
please rb this if you can't help, i'm really sorry, i know everyone is broke
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