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c0rvid-c0llective · 2 days
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"I've been thinking recently about the first ever trans space I was ever actually a part of, Bigender.net. My experience was primarily with these forums in ~2009, but I came back to peek in later years, and am trying to regain access now. There's a lot of bigender cultural things there that would probably never be known about or archived somewhere easily accessible unless someone talked about what they saw there, and I wanted to share some things.
+ A Lot of people used two or more names that they switch up, use in different contexts, and that often align with specific genders. Names are essentially changed like pronouns are for many people.
+ Most bigender people seemed to experience some kind of fluidity or flux of gender, and it was rarer for people to feel like 100% both at all times. This seems to be more often where people label themselves androgynes.
+ The language of "en femme" and "en homme" was used to describe both how one was presenting (similar to the modern boymoding/girlmoding) and to how one felt their gender on a specific day, which is what makes it different from girlmode/boymode. It wasn't just about presentation regardless of gender, but presentation as related to gender.
+ Plurality became so common over the years as a framework of bigender expression that a whole subforum for plurality emerged on these forums. Lots of plural bigender folks would experience having a "girl side" and a "boy side" in a dual system.
+ There were just as many bigender folks who experienced a neutral/other/middle gender experience besides just being male/female. It really wasn't limited to 2 genders, even if at the time it was very male/female bigender focused."
Aster, Bigender Culture
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c0rvid-c0llective · 2 days
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Take this with you
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c0rvid-c0llective · 2 days
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every time there's a post on here that's like "leave weird people alone, let people be freaks" there's always a bunch of people in the notes going "i agree but do you mean the Good Freaks or Bad Freaks OP?" with zero self-awareness
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c0rvid-c0llective · 2 days
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we are RADICAL REBELLIOUS QUEERS WHO LOVE GAY SEX but don't break the rules of our social panopticon and don't point out misogyny or racism and don't do any of that freaky kink shit around me or I'm reporting you #ACAB #DOCRIME
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c0rvid-c0llective · 2 days
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There'll be a post like, "ableism is bad" and all the comments will be "yeah! Ableists are all sociopaths and narcissists!" "Ableists all live in their moms basements and don't contribute anything to society!"
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c0rvid-c0llective · 2 days
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"I love freaks and weirdos and strange people and people who don't conform and behave oddly because they can't mask all their symptoms and-" you guys genuinely can't even handle it when an anxious person uses a script in a conversation
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c0rvid-c0llective · 2 days
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Okay so I just watched a video of a boy who once identified as trans still got bottom surgery after he realized he was cis and people were so fucking rude? Like just because this cis dude has a vagina people were calling him transphobic and wishing death upon him.
So this is a reminder that when we as a community advocate for bodily autonomy and gender surgeries that means everyone regardless of gender can do whatever they want with their bodies.
If someone who is cisgender wants top/bottom surgery THEY CAN GET IT. If someone wants facial plastic surgeries that we usually find creepy like buccal fat removal or eye lifts THEY CAN GET IT. And here’s the really controversial one but if someone wants to do things that harm their body like hard drugs or diy mods THEY CAN DO IT!
Because body autonomy isn’t just “I can get bottom surgery to pass” or “I can get an abortion” it’s also all the wild stuff that makes us uncomfortable and that’s okay.
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c0rvid-c0llective · 3 days
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people who only use conventional social media are so funny bc they’ll casually be like “can I see your tumblr??” are you Insane. this is no instagram or twitter. this is my vault of secrets
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c0rvid-c0llective · 3 days
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anyone else live under the assumption that they’re constantly doing something wrong
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c0rvid-c0llective · 3 days
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Okay, so, pretty sure that a lot of teenagers have that one friend with the BIG mental health struggles, and you're regularly up with them in the chat (it was phone when I was a kid but fr chat is better) til 2 in the morning trying to patch their brain back together. I know I did. And you feel like the world is against you, and depending on the adults around you you might be right. So you feel like it's your responsibility. You feel like you have to keep them trying, keep them functioning, maybe even keep them alive. The parents are either oblivious or actively harmful. You feel alone with this burden.
And while I can't tell you you're wrong, what I can tell you is that it's not your responsibility to burn yourself up for them, and it probably won't work. I'm sorry. That's harsh. But you need to protect your OWN mental health, and your friend quite possibly needs more than it's in your power to give. The actual solution for them is professional help, possibly medication. You can't give them those things. Solutions for that are individual and possibly just simply not available.
But while being a good friend sometimes DOES mean doing hard things, it doesn't mean burning yourself up to try to save someone when you don't have the power to give them what they need. Knowing that doesn't change the situation, I know. But I hope it might ease the intensity of your own experience. I've tried to save people. It's never worked. Some of them got through on their own, some of them took sustained damage. I needed saving myself at points, and people were there for me until I was ready to dig myself out. But you're not trained for this, and ultimately it's not your responsibility. You can't cure people just by loving them. I'm sorry.
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c0rvid-c0llective · 3 days
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The medicalization of plurality that's ingrained into our brain has caused so many issues for me. Just the implications of that take such a toll every day. The idea that the life I remember living was never real. That none of the memories that shaped me into the person I am were ever real. The symptoms of PTSD I experience for things that never happened to this body (or even anything in the same realm, and no, it's not just repressed), aren't based in reality. People always say "well it's real to you" but that isn't enough. I'm not looking for validation about the way I feel about it or how it affects me. It was real, and I'm tired of pretending it wasn't.
Imagine waking up in a body that isn't yours. You know exactly who you are and where you came from, even if a lot of the details are foggy. But then everyone tells you that your existence is the product of a disorder, of traumas that you have no connection to because you didn't live them. And everything you remember? Didn't happen. It's all just shit your brain created to fill a gap or something, process the trauma (that you have no connection to). And that's honestly the best case scenario, if they're not calling you crazy or delusional.
So shoutout to all the beings with past lives who are constantly being invalidated by the medicalized bullshit of this world. If you say your life was real, we're gonna believe you. If that changes and you realize it was in fact a trauma response, then that's okay, we'll believe you then too. It's rough out there for beings like us, but just know you're not alone in having to put up with this shit.
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c0rvid-c0llective · 3 days
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Something that's been brewing for a while about our system (and broadly mental health stuff, or broader still a bunch of our life):
We're being a system on purpose
No we didn't make our system. We aren't a created system. We've been this way for as long as any of us can figure, and it just seems like how our brain works.
But so much of what makes us better/healthier/happier has been intentional stuff. Switching on purpose to spread the load. Talking about where our headmates are from to distract from the bad thoughts. Working on undoing and challenging the internal rules. Accepting, inviting, and seeking out the strange because it's fun. Building a headspace because we wanted one.
And like, there's a lot of ways this shakes out in other places in our lives. Being trans on purpose. Autistic on purpose. Adhd on purpose. Ace on purpose.
It really blurs this line between identities chosen and ones embraced. There's goals that we work towards intentionally. Which makes it easier to drop the pretense of doing it the "right" way and doing it the way that works for us. Grasping (in the "embracing" sort of way) the why and how of what we're doing. Looking for the steady bits of improvement and inches towards those goals, and dropping or tweaking what isn't getting us that direction. Trusting that when the progress isn't coming that we'll be able to navigate from there; either giving it more time or finding a new strategy.
There's this emphasis Roki puts on doing that we've been applying here since before he showed up, that he's put into eccentric but apt words. Turning existing from a passive process to an active action.
Doing it on purpose.
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c0rvid-c0llective · 4 days
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i mean really the tumblr anti-kink people arent the reason for gumroad and patreon banning porn but we did tell you that this is where things are heading lmao. there is no "our good queer feminist pure uwu porn" and "their degenerate freak problematic cnc incest porn", to them its all degenerate lol
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c0rvid-c0llective · 4 days
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the thing is that for a lot of people on here, thier sexuality did actually develop within the context of fandom. and if you are a young person and figuring out your sex drive and forming social connections through shared interest in sex, it's going to have a serious effect on you if the space where you are doing that is full of people telling you that you are a bad person because of your sexual proclivities. you, teenager, are an abuser waiting to happen, you are the reason sexual violence exists in the world, you are sick, you are hurting yourself, you are a Fundamentally Bad Person
like no shit anti-sex crusades didn't originate from fandom nonsense but also its not surprising that people care about it so much. teenagers battling over fanfiction looks stupid and terminally online from the outside, and honestly it is, but that doesn't change the impact that sexual shaming from peers is going to have on young people. and it's not like people are going to just Move On from that when they're adults, either
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c0rvid-c0llective · 4 days
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sometimes i see things like 'oh i love people with ocd/intrusive thoughts i know you aren't really violent/a sexual predator/bigoted/etc you aren't your thoughts <3' but it's like.
do you still love us if we engage with the thoughts (in safe, consensual spaces) as a way to take power away from them? through things like kink and fiction and art?
or do you only love us and know we 'aren't our thoughts' so long as we continue to suffer because of them? are we only pure and precious little victims of our minds so long as we don't look into the abyss and let it look back?
i know maybe it's unfair to question people just trying to spread positivity but i've seen so many of these same types turn around and call me evil for daring to just relax around those thoughts and get some kind of enjoyment out of the genuinely horrendous things i have to deal with every waking fucking moment instead of crying in a corner fearing being the monster
because it really does seem like people are intent on enforcing the idea that if we didn't hate ourselves for our thoughts it WOULD make us bad people, i know for many it probably isn't their intent but the implication is there regardless. things like saying 'you're not a monster because look, you're scared of being a monster!!!' really just says 'if you stop suffering for even a second you will become a monster' to us.
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c0rvid-c0llective · 4 days
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hbo max blocks screenshots even when I use the snipping tool AND firefox AND ublock which is a fucking first. i will never understand streaming services blocking the ability to take screenshots thats literally free advertising for your show right there. HOW THE HELL IS SOMEBODY GONNA PIRATE YOUR SHOW THROUGH SCREENSHOTS. JACKASS
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c0rvid-c0llective · 4 days
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life hack: imagine your ocd intrusive thoughts are anon hate so you can reply "the reading comprehension on this site"
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