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buttermynutter · 1 year
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In Every Realm | Shen x Reader
Request for @fireflyinspring! Warnings: None, just fluff Word count: 2.8 K Summary: Your brother, Zed, left you and the Kinkou behind in a wake of tragedy, though you never let it shake your own allegiance to the Order. However, when your friend Akali denounces its system as well, you can't help but wonder what — or who — you are staying for.
The branches waved beneath your feet, the shadows they cast performing a waltz amid a flurry of flower petals that seemed to swirl in a perpetual shower in Ionia. 
You tipped your head back against the trunk of the tree, turning your attention from the ground to the sky instead. It shone with a hue of blue so vivid that it was almost violet, a small voice in your mind prompting exactly who it reminded you of. The voice blew and whistled with the wind as you pushed it away, choosing instead to focus on the wooden knot beneath your fingers of the branch you sat on. 
Delicately, you traced it, shaking your head as the voice returned, bringing with it the image of his face against the sky.
Your brushing stopped abruptly as another voice arose in the form of yoru name that was so vivid it seemed like reality, a flash of panic crossing your mind as the thought of your yearning driving you to madness appeared. 
It subsided as soon as you caught a flash of navy armor among the pink flowers, only the embarrassment that you had jumped to such a conclusion lingering. 
Shen's face came into view as he called your name again, the one hand poised in front of him almost causing you to laugh out of familiarity. You couldn't help but notice that he was unmasked at the moment, though you supposed you shouldn't have been surprised — you were still within the temple's proximity after all. 
As he disappeared beneath a branch below you, you stood to hug the trunk and slid to its base, the mere sound of leaves crinkling beneath your feet enough to alert him of your presence. 
He spun with an urgency that threw you off guard, though it was nothing compared to his expression. His eyes were wide open with what could only be fear or worry, though the furrow of his brows instilled that very worry in you. They made him seem almost angry, an emotion that you saw in Shen only once. 
With a touch of fear yourself, you reached out to touch his shoulder, regretting the action slightly as he immediately tensed beneath you. 
"Is everything alright?" you asked before considering what may have him so worked up, adding, "Is the temple under attack?"
At your voice the tension almost diffused from his body, your own muscles stiffening as he removed your hand from his shoulder only to take it in his. 
"No, nothing like that," he laughed in a strained way that was unlike him, his eyes still wide. Clearing his throat, he continued, "I'm sorry if I worried you."
"It's alright, I just thought you were a bit worried yourself."
His grip on your hand tightened just enough for you to notice as he responded, "Well, I was."
You sighed inwardly as his typical nonresponsive demeanor returned, motioning you to revert to your own normal speaking pattern with him. In other words, to expect the minimum of a complete sentence to questions you kept asking as if you anticipated anything different. 
Almost as if to prove it, you said, "What were you worried about?" 
"You." 
In the moment it took for you to register what he had responded, his face shifted away from you, basking with a red glow that you attributed to the reflection of the transitioning sky colors. 
"Why?"
Shen began to speak before pausing, the scattering of petals and leaves throughout the air carrying away his unsaid words. 
"I thought you had left."
"Left?"
Although you usually would have started to feel a bit impatient with the typical back and forth, the interest that his reponses piqued in you was more than enough to subdue it. 
"Like the others," he said. It was in a voice so low it was almost carried away by the wind, but that didn't stop the words from reverberating in your head.
"Why would you think that?" you asked, almost offended after you had shown such loyalty through the departure of what had been at both times the closest people in your life. 
He shrugged in a way that swung your hand slightly, though he still didn't let go, causing your cheeks to no doubt match the sky as well. 
"You never go further than a few steps from the temple. Not for years; at least from what I know of your whereabouts."
The warm feeling in your core from the contact between you started to tangle; with his increase in speaking, your mindset had ironically adopted his previous habit of barebone answers. 
Instead of giving in to it, you reponded, "I left because I've given up. I would stay near the temple since I wanted to be the first to know if either of them came back, but now I'm not sure if I want to know even if they do."
After a second of heavy silence, Shen akwardly pulled you towards him, wrapping his arms around you in a tentative manner that you could only find endearing, especially as the last time he had done so was when Akali abandoned the Kinkou.
"You waited?" 
The words fluttered past your ear the same way the flower petals brushed against your face, making you glad that he couldn't see your bashful expression with your face tucked in the crook of his neck. 
"Every day, even though I knew they wouldn't and I shouldn't. What use is it waiting for the very people that left without a thought to the Order, much less their sibling or only friend?"
Your warm breath rebounded towards you as it fanned across his collarbone, causing you to notice for the first time since the encounter that his collar was parted almost halfway down his chest. Although it was only very slightly, seeing Shen differ from his usual appearance at all was nothing short of a miracle. 
"How did you come to that conclusion, especially after nothing eventful for such a span of time?"
You reflexively hugged him closer, failing to note that he relaxed in your hold once you did so as the gears of your mind spun towards a response. 
"I think I realized that I can only trust myself. It occured to me when we celebrated my third year at the Kinkou last week, I was looking in front of me at all the other members without seeing a single face that I started with." A laugh mingled with your sigh as you continued, "Except you, of course." 
"You can trust all of us at the Order," Shen replied with what you assumed was a touch of disappointment. 
Lowering your hands from his back to pull away slightly and look up at him, your fingers brushed against the sword sheath that was almost part of him as you studied his face. 
"I do, I just mean that I can't count on loving anybody, not while I stay in the Order." 
His eyebrows raised as soon as he heard "loving", a long and heavy pause blanketing the two of you before he spoke, a tremor that you had never heard before lacing his voice.
"You can love m-" 
The words barely left his lips before the anger that pinched his brows together when he had first approached you returned, his conversational tone fleeing. 
"Not while you stay? Do you plan on leaving?" 
He must've noticed the fear flitting across your face since he immediately removed his arms from your waist and stepped back, sighing deeply. 
"I'm sorry, I must regard your decision with honor." 
"It's not even a decision yet, Shen," you protested. 
His jaw tightened slightly at the word "yet", but he responded promptly, "There's no need to explain, I should not have made you feel as if it was the wrong choice. It is only natural that you would want to find your own path after relying on the ones of others."
"I just don't want to make you feel that it's your reponsibility like you did with Zed, especially seeing how worried you were earlier that I had left."
"Yes," he whispered, standing so still that anybody walking past would've thought that you were talking to a statue. A small petal landed on his eyelash but he made no motion to remove it, instead turning away. "That was a mistake. I will be returning to the temple now, you can follow if you'd like."
A mistake? the voice from your break on the branch practically screamed, the tangle of your feelings growing thorns. A mistake that you cared? That you showed emotion when you merely nodded at Akali's departure? Even anger, when the only other time you had done so was when the people of my village demanded me back?
You could still recall when the supposed "rescue mission" took place, the very people that had left you and your brother on the steps of the temple knocking on the very door that had opened to you simply because they had heard of your newfound status and were worried of a Noxian invasion. 
It was the only time you had heard Shen raised his voice, and you could still recall the echoes of the door as he slammed it behind him, pulling you into the next room before informing you of how much you were truly worth. You had been quite confused as the praise was in a berating tone, but several of the compliments he gave you still floated through your mind as you caught his eye while making your way through the temple. 
Now, it all seemed futile. You were so close to seeing him without a mask — his real mask, not just the physical one — for the first time. He had touched you, he had worried for you, and you could swear that he even said something about love, though even the voice wouldn't elaborate on the last point. 
Although you told yourself you were frustrated due to his initial anger, the voice did decide to pipe up at that remark, noting that it you knew it was not his supposed dissaproval with the choice, but instead the dismissal. 
Nonetheless, you followed him as your irritation gave way to the same placid acceptance that you regarded the previous heroes of your life with, the slight glow of the sword strapped to his back that fluctuated under your stare reminding you that he was simply a leader to you. 
In what you hoped was an equally tense silence for him, you trudged forward, the sky fading into a blue similar to the beginning of your excursion, though it was now much darker. 
It felt almost as if there was a wall between the two of you, though it was more of a pile of disconnected bricks stamped with the words that he left unsaid and that you left unacknowledged. 
Just as the temple came into view, Shen stopped without warning, causing you to run into him. Still irritated at him slightly for being so simultaneously uncaring yet judgemental about your choice, you opened your mouth to snap at him before he turned on his heel, reminding of you when he had first spun around as you landed on the ground from the tree. 
"Shen-" you started, your tone dropping from angry to confused in just the syllable as he took your hand, holding it close to his chest with both of his own. 
"I'm sorry," he breathed, the flower petal still clinging to his eyelashes. "I shouldn't have been angry with you, or even ended the conversation. I was just scared. Well, I still am, but I'm more scared that I'll never get the chance to say of this again." 
"Shen," you said again, this time much more carefully.
One of his hands flew to your face, his index finger pressed to your lips. 
"As much as I enjoy the sound of my name from you, I have to explain all of this before I lose my nerve."
You nodded hesitantly, your confusion only having grown. 
"I can't bear the thought of you leaving. Even after Zed and Akali, the idea worries me more than anything." He paused before quickly adding, "Of course, you can't let that stop you if you do want to leave. But you're special to me." 
The last words were hardly a whisper, the hand in front of your face sliding to your shoulder as you recognized the familiar warm tingle travel through your body. 
"I thought that their departures would only make you resentful to the Order, but you've stayed loyal to it. To me. Naturally, that's not to say that's why you're special, there are plenty of devotees. It's evident that you follow for yourself." 
You raised your hand, causing him to momentarily stop his ramble as you brushed the petal from his eyelash, leaving a tinge of blush that was the same color as the flower it came from. 
"And it'll be evident all the same, if not more, if you leave. I'm simply scared that I'd never get to see you again if we set foot in that temple with how I acted, to tend to the wounds of your missions or to listen to you hum to yourself out in the gardens. I suppose it's why I was so worried when looking for you in the first place, when I had thought you left without warning — the space between us not only would have remained unclosed, but left behind."
Your heart skipped a beat as you learned you were not alone in feeling the barrier between the two of you, each brick being slowly swept away.
"I'm scared, too, Shen. But like I said, I haven't made that decision. Besides, I've already told you why I was considering it in the first place, concerning the trust and all." 
His lips lifted with a small smile as you said so, the hand on your shoulder moving to cradle your cheek. 
"And like I was too cowardly to say, you can love me."
"I do." 
The two words had left your mouth so quickly that you weren't sure whether you or Shen was more taken aback, not to mention the initial shock at his admission. A large part of you felt dazed that you had finally definitively said it in some way, never having done so even to yourself. 
The other part noted that he had never looked more beautiful to you with those words leaving his lips. 
"I love you too," he replied, any trace of his stoic manner blown away with the wind. 
"You honor me," you said while doing your best to conceal your laugh, repeating what he had said so many times after missions and training. 
"I do," Shen responded in an almost indignant tone, rubbing circles on your cheek with his thumb, the callouses of his hands rough against your skin. "And I honor your decision, no matter what it turns out to be. After all, I'm able to teleport for a reason. As long as you don't plan on travelling to the Freljord or another region of the like, it will never be like you're truly leaving. If you would like to see me, of course." 
"For the bridge between realms, you're awfully unsure of yourself in any of them." 
His smile grew wider as he pulled you towards him by the waist, the stiffness of the first embrace completely absent. 
"What I am sure of is that you can trust me. If you make a choice, it will be safe with me. As will you."
You tipped your head up towards him just enough for your noses to touch, his steady voice betrayed by the shakiness of his breaths, not to mention the feeling of his heart distincly beating against your chest. 
"As the Eye of Twilight, I have my duties to the Kinkou, but I have no doubt that our paths will be parallel, regardless of their distance from each other." 
"Well, whether it be in the temple or somewhere halfway across Runeterra, I would always like to see you," you said, adding as an afterthought, "I would love to see you." 
The movement of his face leaning even closer towards you caused you to unconsciously mirror the action, your lips pressing together in a kiss that untangled any snarls left in your frenzy of feelings. A stray lock of his hair brushed against your forehead as you pulled him even closer by cupping his face in your hands. 
Just as his mouth parted ever so slightly, you separated, the wetness he left on your lips a foreign yet comforting feeling. 
"Still scared?" you asked, a finger gliding over a scar on his cheek. 
"Just in awe," he mused. "It's no wonder Ionia is known for its beauty." 
You glared at him as he chuckled, taken aback but pleased by his newfound boldness. 
"I trust you," you exhaled, the grateful look from Shen letting you know that he understood how much it meant when you said so. 
His hand moved under your chin as he tipped your head up only to lean in again, the sky behind you giving way to twilight. 
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buttermynutter · 1 year
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Hello!! May I request a Shen x reader? 😊
Of course :)) Any specifics? Can be from just a trope to the outline of a plot
(also we're talking about the LoL champ right just checking skjlskjs)
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buttermynutter · 1 year
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Making Beaches | 7 - Dropping the Anchor
Note: Sorry about the lack of posting, school got the best of me and I wasn't expecting work and writing to be so hard to balance, but hopefully I'll be consistent again! Realized I churned out the last chapter just to put something out there more than anything, so I've revised that as well.
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The thuds of Viktor's cane echoed to a solemn, silent metronome throughout the academy halls, slats of moonlight alerting him of where the corridors started and ended. 
He wished they weren't illuminated as well as they were — the light wavering through the frosted glass reminded him too much of water reflected onto the cave walls that he'd much rather be between.
Viktor started abruptly, not daring to even breathe as a tapping flitted by his ears. He exhaled rapidly just a moment later, the air mingling with his laugh. 
He expected the noise to be footsteps, but the tapping came insistently from behind a door he had been approaching, no doubt the ticking of idle machinery that another student had in their room. 
The thought of whether he should return to his bed popped into his mind, but he just as quickly dispelled it. There were things in his life much more important than an angry groundkeeper. Either way, it didn't feel like the waking world. 
It had been a busy day — he slept through more lectures than he would've liked to admit, but what he heard after his last class was enough to keep him awake for days. 
"Did you hear about the new aquarium?"
"An aquarium? In Piltover? What are they exhibiting, Undercity bodies they've pulled out of the river?"
Viktor had merely grimaced and continued to pack his things with a touch of furtiveness before the conversation's continuation nearly made him drop the notebook clenched between his fingers. 
"Unfortunately not, but I've heard there's a mermaid."
"You can't be serious, a mermaid? Where would you even find one?"
"I don't know, but apparently it's their new big thing; it's been there for a while." 
It, thought Viktor bitterly, pitying the poor being that was captured. 
For a while, he thought more bitterly, the paper of the notebook crunching in his tightening grasp. 
He was wondering when the aquarium closed just as one of the speakers had asked aloud. 
"Not sure, but it definitely is by now. My friend tells me that they start importing new 'shipments' late afternoon."
Viktor's mind crumbled like the paper as it came to a realization — a mermaid. Not just that, but a mermaid that was no doubt close to Piltover. Of course, at the mention of one his thoughts first swung to you, but it swung the other way as he considered how cautious you were. 
But, naturally, cautiousness wouldn't help outswim a boat's net. 
Or maybe a harpoon — would they really use a harpoon? What if it was something even worse?
His pity descended into panic, and no matter how much he knew he wouldn't get an answer if he asked for the name of the mermaid, he felt the impulse to grab the overheard informant by the collar and shake the words out of him. 
He had been at the academy for only a week but all he could think of was the absence of your goodbye, grimly realizing that the truth was far worse than any excuse he had imagined, from not seeing you among the waves to you having simply forgotten. 
The worry, the despair — the anger — had washed over him like the waves that followed him the day he departed, and he currently recalled that it was almost as if they were chasing after him, calling for help. 
And here he was now, every glint of the fixtures in the halls reminding him of your scales, how they felt beneath his fingers and draped over his legs. 
Viktor wasn't sure how long he had spent walking away from that fateful conversation, how long he had simply stood in front of his door with his hand pressed to the cold surface, how long he had been walking through the hallways as the sun gave way to night. 
But was it really night if you weren't waiting for him, basking under the face of the moon? 
The storm in his mind spun with questions, barely giving him time to process one before he was hit by another.
Was it really you?
When was the soonest he could check?
What would he do if it was?
Another glimmer of moonlight awaited him as he approached the corner, reminding him so much of the ocean foam he could almost smell it, almost feel it enveloping him, the water swallowing him like his fear. 
Suddenly, he wanted to take a bath. 
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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One Size Fits All | Viktor x Reader
Part of the Back of the Class one-shot collection! Summary: A particularly chilly day with only one coat to spare leads to some creative solutions. Word count: 867 Warnings: None
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The wind was whistling at each turn, the leaves prancing with it carrying autumn colors to every corner of the academy.
"And I hate it all," you mumbled to yourself, clutching your bookbag closer to your chest. 
Shivering, you hurried your way through the courtyard to the next class, wondering if this was the closest you'd get to expriencing conditions of the Freljord. You couldn't even begin to believe that it wasn't winter yet, and it chilled you to the bone in more ways than one when thinking of the weather that was to come. 
Once you made it into the classroom, you immediately sighed in relief so strongly it might as well have been another gust of wind, warranting a raised eyebrow from Viktor across the room. You simply waved at him and he returned the gesture with a small chuckle before the professor swept down the aisle and plopped a large stack of papers on each of your desks, suddenly making you wish that you were back outside in the open. 
The class itself was a blur, a frenzy of notes and droning lectures that made you question how intriguing Piltover really was, though the only future you were concerned about at the moment was one without pneumonia.
As it was time to step outside you wanted to do nothing except cling to the door, but the frigid blast of air coaxed you into the outdoor hallway, where you stood waiting for Viktor. 
"What made you come to class without a coat?" you heard as soon as his figure popped out of the entryway, his grim expression revealing that he wasn't exempt from the misery either. 
"It was still sunny in the morning. Besides, you have one and you're obviously not doing so well yourself," you snapped, watching his expression contort to make a face at you through the fog of your breath. "You're shivering so much I'm surprised I can't hear your brain rattle around your skull." 
The grin he flashed warmed you every so slightly internally, saying, "We have Heimerdinger next, I bet you're excited for that."
You groaned at the thought of trekking the span of half a dozen buildings to the labs, vigorously rubbing your hands together. 
"Why is the Academy District solely separated buildings? Would it have killed them to build hallways between them?"
"I"m not sure," Viktor said, shrugging. "But it might kill us that they didn't. Come on, we wouldn't want to be late." 
"At the expense of frostbite," you grumbled, begrudgingly following his steps as he pulled you along by the hand, though it felt more like you were holding onto an icicle. 
The two of you barely made it to the first building ahead before he shouted over the wind, "Your teeth are chattering so loud I can barely hear myself think."
"You can hear yourself think?" you yelled back, swatting a few stray leaves away from your body. 
His eyeroll was practically audible as he stopped, causing you to reel for a moment once he let go of your hand. 
There was only a moment of confusion before he started to remove his coat, your immediate understanding pushing you to prod him on the shoulder, shaking your head. He nodded his in return so insistently it was like watching his head bob up and down on a spring, distracting you slightly as he pushed it towards you. 
With an eyebrow raised you crossed your arms before he leaned forward to speak above the wind, his lips brushing against your ear. 
"Take it, you've gone the whole day without one!"
"What difference does that make? You said so yourself, it's my fault for bringing one, and I can get a coat once we finish with Heimerdinger."
"Fine," he exclaimed offhandedly, tugging one sleeve back on. 
You were just about to acknowledge your victory before you noticed the sly look on his face, a thought emerging that maybe you hadn't convinced him. 
Your suspicions were confirmed as he pulled you towards him by the waist, yanking you to his side. 
"Put on the other sleeve!"
"What?" you sputtered, though you instinctively wrapped your arm around his hip. 
"We can wear it as two people, not to mention body heat," he insisted, holding the other side of the coat behind you.
Although Viktor was grinning, you didn't detect even a shadow of a joking tone, so you sidled into the empty sleeve, secretly relieved for the extra layer. 
"Comfortable?" he yelled, your bodies melding into each other like two pieces of a puzzle. 
"More than before," you admitted with a small smile which he seemed to notice as his grew wider, motioning for you to continue walking. 
"Thank you, I'm glad it's your heat I'm sharing," he said after a minute or two, hugging you closer. 
You glared at him but replied, "I should be thanking you, as much as your wording needs work." 
As you made your way across the campus, one foot in front of the other three — but not without the occassional stumble, though the following blush only warmed you up — you couldn't help but be a bit grateful for the weather and its opportunities. 
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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Making Beaches | 6 - From the Trenches
Contrary to the belief of humans, the monsters of Runeterra were never underwater. 
The large model nets hung from the aquarium ceiling, taunting you. Much of your days were spent debating what stung more, the glass panels against your skin or the ropes from only a week ago — at least, that's what you thought — the uniformity of the days didn't help to keep track of them. 
Shadows that cast across the water still reminded you of the ship's hull looming over you, peculiarly intimidating for a simple fishing trawler, your fear amplified in your memories. 
You had been swimming to the cliffside for a final wave-off to Viktor as the boat passed, even chiding yourself for being so easily startled at the mere presence of it. 
After all, wasn't it only a few nights ago that he was pointing them out to you, marvelling at their engineering?
That didn't stop it from giving you a reason to fear it, the fishing net descending like a clawed hand towards your body rooted in the ocean, unable to bypass the school of flounders that had spun its ignorant cage around you; how ironic it was that such a little fish could you coax you into this trap. 
It was etched into your mind: the excitement of the crew, the rusty nails of the deck that had inverted your scales as they dragged you into a crate, but most of all, the burning regret that Viktor would never know what had happened to you.
You trusted he wouldn't think that you had simply abandoned him, but you weren't sure if your own judgement was valid anymore.  
Your own people would have at least assumed what happened — there was protocol for such things, and you could guess that they, at the very least, wouldn't be surprised by your disappearance. Several lectures had already been given to you about the dangers of roaming liberally, and you wouldn't be surprised if you were simply the next warning story to be tought to the younger ones. 
The last few years had made you complacent; but you now knew both sides of the coin when it came to humans. 
It was a tall tube only wide enough for you to stretch your arms without touching the sides. The water only reached three-quarters up the glass, meaning that you had no hope of heaving yourself over the rim of your cell. Of course, it wasn't as if you had any idea what you would do if you did make it onto the floor.
You were far enough from the other sealife to provide space for the onlookers, but close enough for you to recognize the glazed numbness of their expressions.
Sealife — that's all you were. An attraction, another thing to nod at and pass over. The first few days had especially hounded you, you were their newest, glossiest pearl, one that had been pried with the tip of a knife from its comfortable oyster. 
Alone, you had even more time to think about the divide between your kinds; you used to dream of the "families" and gracious people you were told about that contrasted your stoic and divided community, but here they were, sticky fingers pressed up against the glass, pounding and demanding you to move through mouthfuls of the same food littered all over the floors. 
But no matter how many faces they made or how many times their parents would roll their eyes every time they would "politely request" for you to do a trick with a tap on the glass, you simply sat in the center with your eyes to the floor, spending the pitiful weeks you had been there dreaming of light that didn't merely hang from the ceiling on a wire. Each day was the same, each face was the same, and you detested them all the same as well.
They had done the grace of providing you with a few meager rocks and barely enough sand to cover the floor; even counting the individual grains wouldn't adequately fill your time. 
You had even gone the first three days without food. They eventually adjusted to your diet, but, at first, someone would drop into the water what looked like a brown sponge that would dissipate in your hands, though you imagined that when dry, it looked a bit like something that Viktor had once brought into the cave by the name of "bread". 
Your yearning for him only heightened among the humans that were more creature than you; the crowd — or more closely, the mob — only reminded you of his kindness and companionship. 
Throughout your confinement, you were only aware of the name of the place you were, a word that slithered through the slats of the crate in which you were so carelessly sold.
Piltover.
It made no difference as the aquarium workers wiped away the streaks on the glass every toilsome day, wiping them away like waves swept away writing in the sand. 
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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Making Beaches | 5 - Drought
"You'll be the first to know."
Viktor's words followed you the entirety of the month, lingering behind you as closely as your shadow. 
The fact that your meetings had become more scarce didn't help, new responsibilities that had attacked you as you grew older demanded that you only see him once every few weeks. He had taken on additional tasks as well, but the most recent that he had informed you of knocked at the back of your mind, begging you to unleash your panic. 
He had told you the news in the moonlight as you sat together in the shallow water on the cave's floor, his face illuminated only enough for you to see that he was positively distraught, his eyes shifting away from yours and his lips strained.
"My parents have encouraged me to apply to an academy in Piltover."
"Piltover?" you had asked, the anxiety not quite settling in — yet. "I thought you didn't want to associate with that city, you told me you rather learn how to breathe underwater 'the hard way'."
Viktor smiled, but it was grim, accompanied by, "I don't, but I don't have much say in the matter. Besides, I don't want to say it, but I think that if I do, I can fix some things down here." 
You held your breath, and he seemed to sense your discomfort as he brought one hand around your back to tip your head onto his shoulder, clearing his throat awkwardly. 
"I know we've already started seeing each other less, but trust me, you're the reason I'm having such doubts about going. Even people outside my family keep telling me I was practically born for this, yet I'm still hoping that we get a message that tells me I wasn't all along."
It was your turn for a distant smile, answering, "Who knows, maybe they'll allow fish as pets." 
He had let out a laugh that didn't quite reverberate through his chest like usual, the sound even more hollow in the echoes of the cavern. 
"This is your dream," you whispered; part of you was aware that you were doing so because you didn't want your voice to crack. "I'll be here when you come back."
"I know you will," Viktor said, this time with a smile that reached his eyes. "You always have been."
The two of you sat without speaking as you desperately tried to hold onto the moment, your frenzied thoughts overpowering the gentle, almost taunting whistling of wind. 
"I should go," he had stated abruptly, his voice so low that you couldn't have heard it without your head right next to his.
You nodded, saying without much thought, "It's getting late, be careful with the rocks in the dark."
For the first time during that night your eyes met, his usual honeyed hues dreary. You still wondered now whether or not if you had looked a little longer you would've recognized they were swimming with tears, but he had quickly stood up and shuffled to shore in the back of the cave, shaking the water from his legs. 
"Don't look so down, you're too pretty for that," he called to you, a quiver barely detectable in his voice. "Besides, it's not as if we know I have to go... yet. Either way, you'll be the first to know."
"You're right, we don't," you had replied, his sad gaze piercing through the water as you submerged into the sea.
But the both of you knew you did.
You were now on your way to the cave once more, part of you begging to stay behind. After all, if you never found out, you would never have to face the consequences, right?
Shaking off the feeling, you only pushed yourself harder, spiralling through the boulders. You simply drifted underwater for a moment, attempting to formulate a reaction for the expected, albeit dreaded outcome; but, deep down, you knew you wouldn't be able to disguise your disappointment.      
Being a good friend comes first, you thought to yourself.
Friend — if only you could come out of the cave as something more. You cursed yourself for not expressing yourself sooner. He had already mentioned the academy before; you should have foretold this, but you supposed that ignorance was bliss. 
Viktor was already seated in the water once you approached him, the expression on his face unreadable. He patted the sand beside him and you obliged, his eyes not quite meeting yours. 
After a succession of shaky breaths, he finally uttered, "I've been accepted. The academy is in session two months from now, but I'm supposed to leave tomorrow to acquaint myself with Piltover."
"Tomorrow?" you gasped, unable to contain yourself. "I mean, I'm very happy for you. I know you've wanted this since we met." 
He took your hand underwater and smiled apologetically, his demeanor now as dismal as you felt. 
"I feel very lucky I get to see you this one last time, I wouldn't rather be spending this last day with anybody else."
You bit your lip, trying to hold back the inevitable stream of tears. 
To your surprise, when you looked over, Viktor was already crying, his rattling breaths viscerally wracking his body. You laughed at the absurdity of the situation and he seemed to understand, chuckling as well while squeezing your hand tighter. 
"You'll come back, won't you?" you whispered, the words heavier than the tension in the air.
"Of course I will," he replied immediately. "I found my brightest light in the sea, I won't be able to look at even a drop of water without being reminded of you."
You felt as if he was wringing your heart, Viktor as perfect as ever even with his eyes red from crying, the color drained from his face, still smiling.
"What're you grinning about?" you mused, suppressing the sense of doom that awaited you outside of the cave.
"You. I'm just thinking about us," he replied.
Furrowed your brow, you glanced at him but he gave no sign of elaborating, so you continued, "If you're leaving on the path by the shore, I can wave you goodbye."
"I'd like that," he said, his expression lightening. "Although it might be a problem, I don't think I'd be able to leave if you were there; and if someone on land spots you?"
"It'll be worth it." You considered the notion a moment before responding, "Just call them crazy and tell them I was a walrus."
"I couldn't do that," he chuckled. "Nobody would believe that if they saw that beautiful face of yours."
You turned towards each other in tandem, your hearbeat skipping along the tide as his eyes flitted down to your mouth, leaning a bit closer. 
Abruptly, your heart dropped into the waves as Viktor said under his breath, "My fingers are pruning, I think that's my sign to leave."
The way his words tore the breath from you made you believe that you finally understood what it felt like to drown.
Forcing a laugh, you replied, "After all this time, a little water still gets to you. I guess some things aren't meant to be."
Voice unsteady, he sighed, "Someday, I'll can make them meant to be."
There was a long pause puncuated only by the empty dripping of water before Viktor continued, "I'll miss you, you know. Every scale. I still haven't learned to swim, but with you, I can fly." 
And he left with his breath still on your lips. 
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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quick merlin work while i finish fics
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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ask and receive
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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Here we go!!
Hot shower or cold shower // texting or calling // earbuds or headphones // paperback or hardcover // matte or gel // 12 hour clock or 24 hour clock // blue or green // sunsets or sunrises // tulips or orchids // candle light or moonlight // sci-fi or horror // ball pen or pencil // pandas or koalas // gold or silver // sneakers or boots // denim jacket or leather jacket // pink or purple // chocolate or sour candy // deodorant or perfume // drive-in movie theater or the cinema // pastel colours or neutral/earth tones // lemonade or fruit juice // past or future
Tagging: @thedreamlessnights @time-is-a-lake @apuwu
Tag game!
Highlight what you prefer!
Hot shower or cold shower // texting or calling // earbuds or headphones // paperback or hardcover // matte or gel // 12 hour clock or 24 hour clock // blue or green // sunsets or sunrises // tulips or orchids // candle light or moonlight // sci-fi or horror // ball pen or pencil // pandas or koalas // gold or silver // sneakers or boots // denim jacket or leather jacket // pink or purple // chocolate or sour candy // deodorant or perfume // drive-in movie theater or the cinema // pastel colours or neutral/earth tones // lemonade or fruit juice // past or future
Tagging: @thedreamlessnights @zaunitearchives @uwuboowoo @grumpyoutlaw @ashotofspotchka @twistedstitcher27 @all-hallows-evie and anyone else who would like to participate!
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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Hi! Would it be ok if you did a Jayce x insecure reader? I kind of hate myself atm… the way I look and I feel like a failure and so average ;-; only write it if you want to and feel comfortable to. Thank you :3
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Of course!! I hope it provides a bit of comfort, wishing you all the best :)
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Word count: 1K
Warnings: None
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Passerby be damned, you were just about ready to toss the entirety of the contents that your desk drawer held out the window. 
Your bedroom walls felt as if they were closing in to taunt you, like they knew there were more worthless papers in the trash bin than in your notebook, like they knew that you felt anybody plucked off the sidewalk of the Academy District could drastically rival you. 
Groaning, you swivelled in your chair and frustratedly rubbed your temples, so deep in thought that you didn't a click as a familiar jingle of keys unlocked the door. 
Nonetheless, the presence acknowledged itself as a metallic but crisp smell wavered above your head. You only opened your eyes once a hand came to cup your cheek from behind, a calloused finger rubbing beneath your ear. 
Jayce grinned, and though you typically instinctively returned his smile, you could only grumble and tip your head back down as he withdrew his hand. A soft oomph let you know he had sat down on your bed behind you, but you simply rested your chin on one hand as you idly tapped your desk. 
"I know we haven't seen each other for a while, but I didn't know that you missed me to the point of being this gloomy," he laughed, causing your fingers to lock up; his cheerful mood finally broke the branch that your mind was teetering on, and you couldn't see the ground beneath you.
If the sudden absence of your tapping didn't alert Jayce of the situation, then the sobs and hiccups that wracked your body in tandem most definitely did. You heard the matress creak as he stood up, but didn't notice him coming to stand beside you with your face buried in your hands, shuddering with each sob.
The tears seeped through your fingers to dot papers of work you hadn't touched in what seemed like an eternity, and you could hardly see anything through the blurred vision even when Jayce gently took hold of your wrists and intertwined his hands with yours.
You breathed unsteadily as he stood above you, and there was a moment of consideration before he bent down and sidled an arm under your legs, the other sliding beneath your back. You reflexively wrapped your arms around his torso as he lifted you up, settling you onto his lap without changing the position as he sat back down on the bed. 
The tears had stopped flowing but you still felt as if your windpipe had been tied in a knot, your head a frenzy of worry and despair. Your boyfriend's voice broke you from your thoughts, accompanied by a light kiss on the top of the head. 
"Do you want to talk about it?" 
Even the simple question troubled you, but you finally mustered the will to look into his eyes. As you did so, your gaze caught on a standing mirror in the corner, causing you to flinch at your reflection. Jayce swung his eyes to what had affected you and made a noise of understanding, pulling you closer to his chest. 
You clutched his waist and sighed, mumbling, "Nothing has been going right lately, and it feels like it's all because of me. Everybody else is either starting new things or showing off what they've been working on since forever, and I've just been sitting here, mediocre at best in every way." 
Jayce's eyebrow's furrowed and you felt him tense slightly as he replied softly, "I know I can't just say a few magic words to make you see what I see — as much as I'd like to — but you're worthy of thinking more of yourself. Some things are just out of your control, even when it comes to yourself. You shouldn't define yourself by a low period in life."
He paused and you nodded, your breathing steadying as he rubbed gentle circles on your back. "You've made your way out of them before. Remember when Heimerdinger gave us that project? You were worried sick since you couldn't find inspiration for one, but it hit you in the last possible week and it turned out better that if you just grinded for a month. I believe you can do it again."
His voice became much more quiet as he asked with a tinge of hopefulness, "Can you try to believe, too?"
You nodded again and a faint smile grew on his face, causing the knot in your chest to loosen a bit. 
"Everything about you deserves love, from your brain," he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "To your hands, your nose, your neck," Jayce continued, pecking each part of you respectively. "To your lips," he followed with a warm grin that brought a twinkle to his eye, the ensuing touch conveying the emotions that words couldn't. 
Even as you sat in silent, you felt that the both of you were more relaxed. Just as you gathered the energy to speak yourself, he said, "Just because you're at a different point in life right now doesn't mean you're behind. Even better, I'll be with you." 
His smile only stretched wider with his last statement, and he visibly perked up once you returned it. 
"Thank you," you replied, resting your head on his chest again, his steady heartbeat resounding through your entire body. Laughing, you continued, "I didn't expect you to turn out to be such a life coach, but I'm happy that you came when you did." 
"I'm happy I did, too. Wouldn't miss the chance to pass up your pretty face, not when I can wipe the tears from it."
"Even when I'm thinking things like these?"
Jayce tipped your head up to him and landed another kiss on your lips, causing your heart to do a somersault.
"Especially when you're thinking things like these. You deserve to think better of yourself, but in the meantime, I'll do that thinking."
You yelped as he laid down abruptly, pulling you with him to rest on top of him, one of his legs hooked around yours. His words floated past you while you felt his fingers danced up your sides, tracing intangible shapes.
"Trust me, it'll be alright, okay? You're beautiful, you're appreciated, you're spectacular. And you're mine." 
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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Omg!! Ty for this inspo, especially since I haven’t updated that fic for a while. I’ve been rewriting it, but I’m still not satisfied since I actually finished it about a month ago. There’s been a bit of writer’s block I’ve ran into lately but there’ll def be two more chapters out by next week :)
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by zeewipark
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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viktor w/ varying degrees of man bun :)
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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why have intrusive thoughts when you could have intrusive creations
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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buttermynutter · 2 years
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