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brokenflicker · 9 months
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brokenflicker · 1 year
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brokenflicker · 1 year
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WHY DO I RUIN EVERYTHING HOW DO I STOP RUINING IT ALL I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY AND STAY HAPPY
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brokenflicker · 1 year
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I'm tired.
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brokenflicker · 1 year
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brokenflicker · 2 years
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something i realized over the years is that despite wanting to kill myself, i don't actually wanna die. far from it actually. i want to live. i want to experience all the things i always wanted to do. i want to see the world. i want to look in the mirror one day and say "im happy i stayed". i want to get better. i want to live a life free from the shackles this mental illness has kept me in. but sometimes that darkness in my brain just overtakes that hope for a better future and all i'm left with is the thought that it will never get better.
— i want to live, but not like this.
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brokenflicker · 2 years
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God, I can't tell you how much the "there's not enough enrichment in my enclosure" joke has helped my mental health. Because, for some reason I can't comprehend, pretending that I'm a zoo keeper caring for an animal (which is also me) just makes everything easier to comprehend. Like "Your head gets screwey when you're apartment is messy" just doesn't carry as much resonance as "The tiger becomes agitated when its enclosure is cluttered" because then I'll be like, no shit? The tiger? I've gotta keep things nice and clean for the tiger.
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brokenflicker · 2 years
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killing myself is not enough, I wish I never existed in the first place
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brokenflicker · 2 years
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if only i could turn my thoughts into reality
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brokenflicker · 2 years
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why?
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brokenflicker · 2 years
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brokenflicker · 2 years
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logically I know nothing matters and everything is temporary but emotionally I am crushed by the weight of everything that has ever happened to me and ever will happen
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brokenflicker · 2 years
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i can't trust anymore.
“The thing is, when you lose someone, you realize you’ll eventually lose everyone…. And once you know that, you can never forget it.”
— John Green, Turtles All the Way Down
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brokenflicker · 2 years
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i am overwhelmed and i just want everything to stop. just stop. just for a moment so i can think, so i can cry, so i can mourn but its so difficult because life just keeps going and my issues are piling on top of each other and suffocating me and i am so overwhelmed that i cant breathe. i hate this.
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brokenflicker · 2 years
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One thing about me is I am not doing so well
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brokenflicker · 2 years
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it's getting bad again. i'm struggling to get out of bed, my room is a fucking mess, i can barely get myself to shower or brush my teeth, and have zero capacity to do the things i need to get done. everything is so heavy and i don't have the strength to carry it.
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brokenflicker · 2 years
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“I am afraid I will be like this forever.”
— Sierra DeMulder
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