Literally if he ever hurts her I'll never forgive myself for not warning her and I fuckign hate it I hate that he did this to me and that he put me in this fucking position

anders aesthetic

bpd!carver easing it a slow, shaking breath on a smile when he woke up after the joining, not just because he had opened his eyes to another day, but because at last he had something to define him. he was carver hawke, the grey warden, and it felt good, better than he’d expected

motivational nathaniel howe

Nathaniel would have a smile waiting for you as he pushed himself off the wall he’d been leaning against, I crossing his arms to hold them out to you in greeting. If you are comfortable with touch, he would give a warm hug, cheek to cheek, pulling away only when some of the tension melted away from your shoulders. “I know things aren’t going so well right now,” he’d say, then give a laugh, shaking his head. “But when do they ever, for us? Still,” he’d add, giving that crook of his mouth that held more smiles than he ever gave in full, “that doesn’t mean that it’s not worth doing. That you aren’t worth it, because you are. You’ve always been that source of brightness for me, have i told you?”

He’d lift his hand to your shoulder. “And not just today. Every day. You bring that with you, and I admire it, just the way I am proud of you for being that every day. For being you. It might be hard, is hard, but you continue to do it, and that is something to take pride in. I know I do, every time I look at you. Now,” he’d say, giving your shoulder a squeeze, “let’s get to work putting another day behind us, hmm? One step at a time.”

he went all Zev on my warden indeed and i mean it in LI kind of way DAMMIT!

Thinking out loud, don't re///b log

E molested and (possibly?) raped me and also tried to convince/guilt me to pity fucking A. A sexually harassed and assaulted me for a month and then on multiple occasions attempted to guilt me into having a romantic and/or sexual relationship with him. They both abused me and both of them have traumatized me, quite possibly causing me to develop this damn personality disorder in the first place. But I can't quite hate E If E wanted to date/hook up with me I would probably say yes. Maybe it's because for a while I didn't realize what E did to me, maybe I still haven't fully realized what she did. Maybe it's because I was so worried for her. I mean she was in such a bad place and I cared about her and I don't care if it makes me a bad survivor but I still care about her. Maybe it's because I know E has been abused in the past. Maybe it's because she's mentally ill maybe it's because she hated herself about as much as I hate myself or any other number of reasons but I just. I still can't hate her And I wish I could, it would make this all so much easier

Hhhhhh I want to warn ppl abt the girl who hurt me but a) idk her tumblr and b) idk if what she did even "counts" as real sexual abuse so if I'm just overreacting I don't want to potentially get a bunch of ppl ganging up on her????? Idk shit is complicated

“I don’t see myself when I change.” Fire and Blood, Anders, Fire and Blood. 

Oh that's fucking ironic "I don't need you to be constantly reminding me to do it" And yet you feel the need to take it upon yourself to remind me to do literally everything :)))))) isn't it funny how irritating that gets???? You damn ass

ULTIMATE DRAGON AGE MEME | Five Rogues (4/5)        →  Nathaniel Howe

“My grandfather was a Grey Warden. Would he even recognize what the order has become? Would he weep at its dereliction? Or would he draw his blade, point it towards his enemy’s heart, and cry, ’Enough.’”

I have like, such bad texture issues with super crumbly/"dusty" food (like obvs I'm not literally eating anything with dust on it but that type of texture?) it sucks that's literally all we have in the house rn

My magic will destroy you

There are bugs ALL OVER ME STOP IT DAMNIT

I'm actually genuinely scared my parents will find out I'm neurodivergent and lock me up. Like to the point where I don't even want to tell them abt the mental illnesses I Know they wouldn't have a problem with And the ironic as shit thing is my parents are psychologists :))))))))

If I am developing schizophrenia and I have a break while I'm at home my parents will literally lock me up I just know it

Is there anything I don't feel guilty about? Probably not