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boneshine · 7 months

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Fine, writers. You're not gonna just have these two figure things out? You have one guaranteed (greenlit) season left and all you've been doing to us is dangling that scrawny little worm of hope in our faces and I ain't biting.

Stop playing nice. Have Guillermo and Nandor figure out things the way they do best:

Through violence.

Let them fight it out.

And then upon Nandor catching Guillermo's wrist, that stake locked in hand, ready for the killing blow, have them look at each other, with Guillermo breathing heavily with an enraged expression and Nandor's stone-still and dark eyes pinning him with some unfathomable feeling.

And then Nandor suddenly leans in for what Guillermo assumes is a fatal bite but he actually kisses him and startles Guillermo so much that he drops the stake- before his hand reaches out and grabs Nandor's coat to pull him in close and Nandor shuffles them backwards until Guillermo's back slams into the wall and they furiously make out.

I don't think I'm asking for too much here. This is what we all want.

#WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #Nandor #Nandor the Relentless #Guillermo #Guillermo de la Cruz #Nandor x Guillermo #Nandermo #FX #obligatory homoerotic fight scene #these two get their feelings out through excessive acts of violence so LET THEM

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boneshine · 8 months

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I don't like the fact that we can interpret the Djinn making an appearance only to reveal that Nandor has no more wishes (despite the Djinn gifting him three extra wishes at his wedding) as lazy retconning BUT it can also be seen as a sinister note that was easily overlooked because we just assumed that they forgot and had to shoehorn in an explanation as to why Nandor couldn't simply use a wish to fix things but in actuality the reality could very well be that Nandor made an insidious wish that fucked up this entire season somehow and we wouldn't know it until it was too late.

#WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #Nandor #Nandor the Relentless #The Djinn #Anoop Desai #Kayvan Novak #spoilers #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers #the writers like to play this game of 'are we smart or did we just forget'#and sometimes they surprise us

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boneshine · 8 months

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It really is funny (in a heart-shattering kind of way) that, after all the secret-keeping and all the ways that the vampires and Guillermo had to dodge and weave and keep the truth away from Nandor, that he was actually the one that solved everything instantly.

He immediately knew the reason for the slowed transformation was his Van Helsing genes, he knew that Guillermo had to drink human blood to complete his transition. He figured out everything that the others had been stymied by for an entire season with a wisdom and unflappable assurance that we don't often see from this fucking guy.

Proving that he really was the perfect one to turn him after all because, like he said, he really did know Guillermo best.

#why do they do this to us #and why do i keep watching #WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #spoilers #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers #Guillermo #Guillermo de la Cruz #Nandor #Nandor the Relentless #Nandermo

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boneshine · 8 months

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I don't understand why, if Guillermo had issues with killing a human... why didn't they just show him alternative methods?

He could tolerate drinking the blood out of the glass when it wasn't straight from a human. So why not give him blood bags? Or teach him moderation to take away just enough blood to where it doesn't kill them? The vampires have left half-drunk humans before.

#i understand that Guillermo is also squeamish #but Derek is as well about his own blood and he drinks just fine #WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #Guillermo #Guillermo de la Cruz #spoilers #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers

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boneshine · 8 months

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Nandor destroyed the footlocker and the pillow. The only two gifts he's ever given Guillermo.

#WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #Guillermo #Guillermo de la Cruz #Nandor #Nandor the Relentless #vampire #vampires #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers #spoilers #Nandermo

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boneshine · 8 months

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Part of me wants to believe that the reason Guillermo wanted to become human again might have been a subconscious pull because Nandor wasn't the one to turn him, so he wasn't ready.

So now they have a second chance.

#he wants to be a vampire if he can be with Nandor for eternity #and he wants to do it right #I'm hopeless i know #WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #Nandor #Nandor the Relentless #Guillermo #Guillermo de la Cruz #spoilers #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers #Nandermo

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boneshine · 8 months

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Not gonna lie, the moment that Guillermo answered his mother's number and Nandor's voice responded, I felt a chill.

#that was no joke #WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #Guillermo #Guillermo de la Cruz #Nandor #Nandor the Relentless #spoilers #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers #Sylvia #Sylvia de la Cruz #Nandor can be serious sometimes #and i don't like that #but i also really like that

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boneshine · 8 months

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Think of the season finale this way, guys: This means that Guillermo will have more opportunities to kick Nandor's ass as a vampire slayer again.

#WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #Guillermo #Guillermo de la Cruz #Nandor #Nandor the Relentless #Nandermo #spoilers #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers #us Nandermo freaks love violence don't even pretend #their relationship is built on blood and pain #sometimes our own #but we love it #vampire slayer #Van Helsing

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boneshine · 8 months

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This looks like the start of the best porno feat. two awkward gays who hired a dommy mommy to come in and show them a good time or am I projecting?

#WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #spoilers #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers #Derek #Derek the Vampire #Chris Sandiford #Guillermo #Guillermo de la Cruz #Nadja #Nadja of Antipaxos #Detective Policewoman

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boneshine · 8 months

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So "A Weekend at Morrigan Manor" has the summary of "The housemates are invited for a weekend away at the home of a mysterious, illustrious vampire."

Who wants to bet that it's Jenna and she's become majorly successful and a formidable vampire from her invisibility powers in a real rags-to-riches/awkward vampire-to-powerful-adversary story and she wants to say hello to Nadja?

Jenna Morrigan, anyone?

#WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #spoilers #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers #Jenna #Jenna the Vampire #Beanie Feldstein #Elizabeth Feldstein #A Weekend at Morrigan Manor

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boneshine · 8 months

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Anybody else notice in "The Roast" that Nadja was, like, worryingly okay with the idea of dying for a minute?

#WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #Nadja #Nadja of Antipaxos #I mean even Nandor immediately was like 'are you okay'#and when the guy who decides to go into a super slumber because he can't get a date asks if you're okay #that's not a good sign #spoilers #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers #WWDITS The Roast #The Roast

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boneshine · 8 months

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This doesn't make it okay, but do you think the reason that Nandor took so long with the concept of turning Guillermo is because of the fact that he believes humans live 300 years or so and he thinks Guillermo's just being impatient?

#WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #Nandor #Nandor the Relentless #Guillermo #Guillermo de la Cruz #spoilers #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers #I mean in the episode where he was gonna take a Super Slumber and Guillermo mentioned how he'd be 130 when he came back #Nandor just assumed he'd be... right here waiting for him

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boneshine · 8 months

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I don't care if this is a crackpot theory, I had a revelation and I fuck with it so hard.

What if they reveal that Derek is a descendant of Dracula?

Can you imagine?

A descendant of one of the most powerful and iconic vampires siring a descendant of one of the most powerful vampire slayers?

#WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #Dracula #Vlad the Impaler #Derek #WWDITS Derek #What We Do in the Shadows Derek #Chris Sandiford #Guillermo #Guillermo de la Cruz #spoilers #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers

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boneshine · 8 months

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Can we just um can we we just um look at the Guide for a minute okay?

#WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #The Guide #WWDITS The Guide #What We Do in the Shadows the Guide #Kristen Schaal #spoilers #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers #Volunteer Guide #Nurse Guide #S5 E6 Urgent Care #wwdits 5x06 #Urgent Care

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boneshine · 9 months

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So now we know that Guillermo subconsciously categorizes everybody in his life as some genre of bitch (crazy bitch, horny little bitch, boring little bitch, queen bitch) and I think that is an immaculate vibe.

#WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #spoilers #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers #Guillermo #Guillermo de la Cruz #vampire #vampires #WWDITS S5 #Season 5 spoilers #WWDITS S5 spoilers

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boneshine · 9 months

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Brush my hair

Read my lines

It’s time to go

Wear my suit

Put the make up on

Put on a show

Up, up, up, to the Heaviside layer

Up, up, up, I'm going straight up

Take my lunch Lose my lunch It's a shaky start

I'm old Deut

Now he's old Deut

I've lost the part

Down, down, down, to the center of the Earth

Down, down, down, I'm going straight down

#Bigtop Burger #Big Top Burger #clown #clowns #Worthikids #Bigtop Burger spoilers #spoilers #Big Top Burger spoilers #Steve #Steve the Clown #Cats #Cats: The Musical #animation #you know that feeling when you mess up a vital planetary theater role and you're exiled from your home planet for over 600+ million years #Old Deuteronomy

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boneshine · 9 months

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So far, we know that Guillermo’s transition has him lacking certain vampiric qualities such as flying, super-strength, super-speed, turning into a bat (although forming bat ears was close), and hungering for human blood, BUT he has other powers/attributes such as:

- He can walk out into the sunlight

- Tiny (supposedly non-functional) wings permanently affixed to his back

- He can still use the term “God” with a slight cough/mild heartburn instead of his entire mouth erupting into flames

- His vision has been repaired to beyond 20/20 (but that may be a general “healing” trait that vampirism seems to give)

- He can still consume food

- He eagerly consumed an entire bulb of garlic (although I’m not sure if that’s a side-effect of the turning or that may be simply because there’s never any food in the house)

- Telekinesis

- His sweat can be used as sunscreen for vampires (methinks Memo’s Man Milk will soon branch out into Memo’s Sweat Cream)

All in all, as Laszlo’s scientific hypothesis has ascertained, Guillermo is certainly fucked up.

#WWDITS #What We Do in the Shadows #vampire #vampires #Guillermo #Guillermo de la Cruz #Laszlo #Laszlo Cravensworth #spoilers #WWDITS S5 #WWDITS spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows spoilers #What We Do in the Shadows Season 5 Spoilers #vampirism

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