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adults retroactively project so much shit on their child selves. an adult will describe clear signs of trauma--clearly describing being afraid of their teachers, being emotionally manipulated and abused, having meltdowns and shutdowns in response to being denied autonomy and acknowledgement of their internality--and finish it off with "can you believe how lazy and dramatic i was? can't believe i threw so many tantrums about going to school, what a brat."
like no honey, your feelings were completely proportional. you were an inexperienced and physically underdeveloped human who was being taken advantage of by people more experienced and larger than you. you were nonconsensually physically handled, denied the ablity to protect your body, and denied the recognition of your internality to the point that any good faith feeling you expressed was written off as fake or a lie to manipulate those around you. that's traumatizing and you were traumatized.