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James: “Treat spiders the way you want to be treated”
Regulus: “killed without hesitation”
James: “darling, we’ve talked about this-“
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Baby Harry: *crying*
Regulus, picks Harry up: Oh, it’s okay, sweetheart, you’ll learn how to do that on the inside when you get older
James: …
James: Love, are you okay?
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james: so,, moons did you get anything for valentines?
remus: yeah actually
james: what? who from?!
remus: a bunch of shit from some ‘S’ girl
james: wow i got a sweet letter from an ‘R’. wasn’t you was it moony?
(cuts to regulus and sirius struggling to understand muggle wrapping paper so their presents will look nice for their valentines but ending up tangled in tape and shreds of pink paper)
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Regulus: I'm seeing someone
Sirius: Real or not?
James "someone" Potter: What does that mean now?
Sirius: He hasn't slept for a week. So, Reggie, are you dating someone or are you hallucinating?
Regulus: Both
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james: *leaning in for a kiss*
regulus: are you gay or something 🤨
james: WE'RE MARRIED!!!!!
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Regulus Black: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference.
Regulus Black: Anyways, you said Harry is enjoying finger painting! That’s great.
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[James apologizing to Sirius after a fight]
Sirius: it's ok! it was nothing it's not like you fucked my brother or anything
James:
Sirius:
James: actually, now that you mention-
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regulus: you have 3 seconds to get your hand off of me
james: bu- but you asked me to hold your hand like 10 minutes ago??
regulus: yes and now the idea of you touching me makes me want to throw up
james: okay <3
*30 min later*
regulus: james why aren’t you holding my hand
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I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that.
Regulus Black, probably
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You don't deserve a rose, you deserve a bouquet 💐
thank you so much babe!!
hmmm, for that you get a few lines
"Hey, Haz, your dad wants to know if—" Regulus gets abruptly cut off by the sound Cedric Diggory's half naked body makes when Harry pushes him off of himself and he falls on the floor.
Alright.
Everything is alright.
"Dad," Harry begins saying, all reddened lips and messed up hair, "please, don't freak out."
Regulus crosses his arms on top of his chest. "I'm not," he says. And then he notices it.
On the very edge of the bed, a small bottle of lube and an unopened condom.
He sighs.
"Cedric."
"Yes, sir?"
"I'm feeling rather benevolent today, so I'm going to give you ten seconds to get out of my sight before I murder you."
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James: Sometimes I wonder if Remus and Reggie are okay.
Remus: Sometimes I get the overwhelming desire to eat two thirds off a brick
Regulus, fascinated: What do you do with the other third
Remus: Feed it to my pet dog, Sirius
Sirius: What in the actual fuck
#regulus black#harry potter fandom#harry potter#jegulus#james potter#noble house of black#regulus deserved better#james x regulus#jegulus fanfiction#starchaser#james & peter & remus & sirius#remus x sirius#remus being remus#remus loves sirius#jamulus
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Regulus: Remus, you're my best friend.
Remus: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your onlyfriend.
Remus: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!
Regulus:
Regulus: But... What about Lily and James?
Remus: They are your lovers, they don't count.
#regulus black#harry potter fandom#harry potter#james potter#noble house of black#regulus deserved better#starchaser#james x regulus#jegulus fanfiction#jegulus#james x lily x regulus#regulus x lily#james & peter & remus & sirius#jegulily
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If I stay in bed I'll be warm. If I get in the shower, I'll also be warm. But the distance between the bed and shower? No. That is not warm.
Regulus Black
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Turns out just suppressing your negative emotions and pretending it never happened isn't actually "healing from trauma" or whatever.
Regulus Black
#regulus black#harry potter fandom#jegulus#harry potter#james potter#noble house of black#regulus deserved better#starchaser#james x regulus#jegulus fanfiction
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James: Are you even aware of how beautiful you are?
Regulus: Yes.
#regulus black#harry potter fandom#jegulus#harry potter#james potter#noble house of black#regulus deserved better#starchaser#james x regulus#jegulus fanfiction
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Remus: Alright, no more talking about Reggie
James: But you told me to get it out of my system!
Remus: I had no idea how much was in your system!
#regulus black#harry potter fandom#jegulus#harry potter#james potter#noble house of black#regulus deserved better#starchaser#james x regulus#jegulus fanfiction#remus being remus#remus loves sirius#regulus fluff
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Regulus: Do you think I’ll get someone to willingly let me stab him?
James: Reggie, you’re insane
James: I love you
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