shout out to everyone who participated in the january-february mass depressive episode

Doing myself psychological damage by pulling out the home videos while I’ve already been crying for no reason today.

Hozier at Red Rocks October 18, 2023

I, Carrion intro

The thing they don't tell you about fried egg runny yolk is that if you put it in a sandwich it will be the best most delicious thing and you can mop up the egg with the bread, but in exchange you Will get so so messy and covered in egg yolk

my beautiful wife ibuprofen

bro doesnt even have the jennies (certain je ne sais quois)

are they... you know...? *makes a stabbing motion*

Can you explain this gap in your blog history

This is Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise speaking. We’ve entered the orbit of a planet not terribly unlike our own… save that it is exclusively populated by petty old queens.

i'm not mentally ill. the lead from tin cans ive been consuming for a year is tormenting me with visions and turning me gay

My tweet limit didn’t reset at midnight so… here I am. Returning to my roots.

“how could you have forgotten that” i forget Everything. unless i remember

best thing tumblr ever did for me is the term "rotating it in my mind". it's really true that sometimes you think about something real hard but you can't tell what the thoughts are exactly. it's revolutionary stuff, i might even say

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

tiktokkers who film people in public should be locked into a birdcage and dangled from skyscrapers

You work as tech support for ancient supernatural beings who are trying to adapt to the modern world. It’s a frustrating - and at times dangerous - job, but at least your clients pay well.