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bekkachaos · 24 hours
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WIP WEDNESDAY
Tagged by @tizniz @hoodie-buck @eddiebabygirldiaz @disasterbuckdiaz @elvensorceress @heartshapedvows @jesuisici33 @honestlydarkprincess @exhuastedpigeon @diazsdimples @wikiangela you’re all so talented 💜
Who knows when this will be released into the world so have a generous snippet of the only thing I’ve managed to write this week
He can’t help feeling this is a stupid idea even if it was his own in the first place. Getting Buck back out there and getting the inevitable over with had seemed like a good idea until he had to actually witness Buck in action. He’s been watching surreptitiously and how any one can resist the blue eyes and cute smile is beyond him and that’s just the outside of Buck. The inside, his true self is so much better. The man has it all going for him. Chim has no chance of being right about Buck having “lost it” in Eddie’s opinion he’s getting better looking, more attractive every year.
A grin lights up Buck’s face and his eyes flash over to where Eddie’s standing. Eddie looks away quickly, maybe Buck didn’t notice him staring. Lifting the empty bottle to his lips again for something to do he reminds himself this is his own fault and he can’t complain but maybe shouldn’t complain would be a better phrase because that’s what he’s doing, completely silently but very very fiercely.
*
For some reason Eddie’s swigging from an empty bottle. If he needs a drink Buck ought to wrap things up here and get back to him. He makes his excuses to Siobhan who’s nice enough but no Eddie and escapes. He can’t say he’s not a little gratified by the flash of disappointment on her face as he leaves but he’s much more pleased by the smile that lights up Eddie’s face when he taps him on the arm to gain his attention.
“You need a beer?” Buck nods towards the empty bottle. “Or..” he tells himself the next sentence doesn’t have to mean anything “ would you like to dance for a bit?”
Eddie blinks in surprise and Buck holds his breath.
“Dancing sounds fun.”
“Yeah?”
A warm hand grabs his forearm, “yeah, let’s go, you can buy me a beer after I show you my moves.”
Tagging anyone who would like to share @thekristen999 @hippolotamus @loserdiaz @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @daffi-990 @shortsighted-owl @buddierights @bekkachaos @underwater-ninja-13 @spaceprincessem @stagefoureddiediaz @thewolvesof1998 @wildlife4life @weewootruck @giddyupbuck @pirrusstuff @steadfastsaturnsrings @rainbow-nerdss @lover-of-mine @fortheloveofbuddie @watchyourbuck @loveyouanyway @actualalligator
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bekkachaos · 24 hours
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wip wednesday
tagged by @hoodie-buck @exhuastedpigeon @eddiebabygirldiaz @wikiangela @disasterbuckdiaz @diazsdimples @tizniz @heartshapedvows @theotherbuckley be sure to read their lovely snippets! 💕 tagging @spotsandsocks @shortsighted-owl @hippolotamus @messyhairdiaz @rogerzsteven @monsterrae1 @loveyouanyway @bekkachaos @daffi-990 @wh0re-behavi0r @eddiediazisascorpio @evanbegins @confetti-cupcake if you want to share anything 💕 More Unless because I WILL finish this monster. I WILL.
Eddie leans down, but only a little because his son is already ridiculously tall, and kisses Chris’ forehead. “You know you’re my favorite, right?” 
Chris rolls his eyes but grins. “Buck can be your favorite, too. I know he is.”
“It’s different. You both are. But you are always first. He thinks so, too. You’re our son. We love you more than anything.”
The smile fades a little and then disappears as quickly as it appeared. “He’s going to stay with us, right? He’s not going to leave?” 
Why is it always Chris who can so effectively drive a knife through Eddie’s chest with the way he’s suffered and lost and been in pain? Chris never should have had to experience so much pain. “Yes, Chris. He’s going to stay with us.” 
Chris gives him that pointed, very Shannon look that twists the knife so well. He sounds fragile and so much closer to being the heartbroken six year old who missed his mom than he is to being the teenage survivor that he is. “Promise?” 
He can’t promise that. Eddie can’t even say he believes it himself all the way. Why wouldn’t he fuck up and lose the best thing that’s ever happened to them? Why wouldn’t Buck get tired or fed up and leave Eddie? 
Eddie’s not enough for him. 
“I promise Buck is never going to leave you, okay?” Eddie tells him and it has to be enough. “You’ll always have him. He’s not going to stop being your dad for any reason.” 
Chris just looks at him with unending sorrow and eyes full of tears. “What about you? You need Buck, too. I know you do. He’s also your favorite and your ‘more than anything’ and he’s both of ours and I don’t want him to leave you either. I know how sad you were, Dad. I know you were. You’re not the same without him. You need him. We both need him. I don’t want you to be sad like that ever. I don’t want to— I don’t want to lose Buck like we lost Mom. He’s my dad and you love him and I don’t want to do that again. We can’t do that again.”
Jesus Christ. Can he have a chance to not be stabbed through the heart, thanks? 
“Chris—” What the fuck does Eddie even say? “Buck will always be my friend. Even if we don’t— even if—” 
He can’t breathe. He can’t. There’s no air. 
He has to swallow and get it together. It’s fine. He’s fine. The mere thought of having to break up is not going to make him panic. The thought of Chris losing another parent cannot make him panic either. 
It’s just— it’s not great. The whole idea of losing Buck is awful and he hates it and doesn’t want to even think such a thing let alone talk about it. 
But he has to say something. He has to reassure Chris. He blinks back his own tears and he can do this. They’ll figure it out. It’ll be okay. It has to. “If dating him doesn’t work out, Buck and I will still be friends.” 
They will be. Their relationship is so much more than dating and kissing and being in love. It’s strong enough to survive anything. It would be awful and Eddie honestly doesn’t know if he’d ever stop being in love with him even if they had to face the horrible reality of a divorce. How could his heart ever stop wanting Buck? But they would find a way to be friends. 
They might not be able to have a marriage, but they have to be in each other’s lives. That is nonnegotiable. They’d figure it out. 
“And he’d still be your dad,” Eddie adds. “None of that would change.”
Chris sniffs and still frowns. But he tries to at least look like he buys it. “He wouldn’t live here with us though.”
“No, probably not. But in a few years, you won’t want to live here either. You’ll want to go to college or get some fancy job or maybe you’ll travel, but you’ll have your own life to live wherever you want and do whatever you want. You won’t be here either.” 
It was supposed to be comforting, but it only makes Chris’ tears overflow. He goes back to hugging Eddie as tightly as possible and trying to stifle the way he cries.
Eddie simply hugs him in return and wishes he could banish away all his pain and anguish. But he doesn’t know how they would make it through losing Buck either. They would. They would have to. They have each other. 
But Buck is missing pieces and filled in needs and worlds of love and support for both of them. Eddie doesn’t know how they’d keep going if all of that is ripped away. They would, but. How? 
One step forward, one more breath. That’s all you can ever do. That’s what Bobby and Athena told him before. That’s all anyone can do. 
Eddie closes his eyes tightly and has to shut it off and he just needs to comfort his son. He can do that. He just needs to protect and love his son. 
After a tiny second of quiet, there’s movement at the doorway to the kitchen. And then Buck is wrapping around them both. Until they’re holding Chris between them while also gripping each other. 
They’ve all been through so much loss, so much trauma, why wouldn’t the scariest, most horrible nightmare imaginable be the thought of losing each other and their little family? 
Buck kisses them both, Chris on the side of his head and Eddie on his cheek, and he whispers promises of infallible, irrevocable love. Because he’s nothing if not his unfailing heart. 
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bekkachaos · 24 hours
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Wip Wednesday
I'm trying to get back to writing and post this fic with tuck fwb and buddie endgame before 7x4. so here's new thing I've wrote just now
tagged by talented @theotherbuckley @puppyboybuckley @tizniz @diazsdimples <33333
He takes deep breath accusingly staring at deep browns.
“It’s you who made this conversation about Chris. And I-I said to myself ‘ok, I’m not here as the romantic partner, so it’s good Taylor is here because it was stupid to think Eddie might love me.’ ‘I really should move on’ was inside my mind on repeat when I saw Ana at your welcome home party. And I thought I did. For a really long time I believed I moved on from you, especially when I couldn't take anyone's grief about my death,” Eddie flinches as if Buck hit him. 
“I-I couldn’t take even your grief, Eddie. Especially yours. Because I was on the other side not once, Ed...”
“YOU DON’T KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO SEE SOMEONE YOU LOVE IS DEAD. YOU DON’T KNOW HOW IT FUCKS YOU UP,” Eddie screams, but after a second his face pales.
Buck lost his voice for a moment, looking at his best friend as if Eddie hit him hard in his solar plexus. Buck wishes he did. It would hurt less that the deep knife Eddie drove into his heart with his words.
How dare this man tell him he doesn't know what it is like to believe someone, you love more than life, is dead? To him? When he was there all the time Eddie was close to death, but for Buck he was dead? Even if just for minutes but Buck lived in the world where Eddie was dead. Because no matter what he never gives up and tries to stay optimistic he still hardly believes the universe will let him be happy and have Eddie alive and always with him. 
How dare Eddie say him he doesn’t know how it fucks you up?
@wikiangela @wildlife4life @watchyourbuck @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @evanbegins @rogerzsteven @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @underwater-ninja-13 @pirrusstuff @aspecbuddie @spaceprincessem @smilingbuckley @spotsandsocks @spagheddiediaz @sunshinediaz @devirnis @daffi-990 @dangerpronebuddie @fortheloveofbuddie @giddyupbuck @heartshapedvows @honestlydarkprincess @hoodie-buck @honestlyeddie @hippolotamus @jesuisici33 @loserdiaz @cal-daisies-and-briars @barbiediaz @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @buckleydiaz @buck-coded @buddierights @911onabc @steadfastsaturnsrings @mandzuking17 @monsterrae1 and anyone who wants to
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bekkachaos · 3 days
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Seven(ish) Sentence Sunday ✍️
Tagged by @tizniz who posted a new fic which you can read here
Today I started chapter ten of Rival Firefighters 🚒. And by started I mean gathered what I’ve written for it in the notes app of my phone and moved it into a Google doc haha. Okay I did also write 1K of new stuff too. It’s been a good day creative wise I think ☺️ (seriously hope I didn’t just jinx myself *knocks on wood*)
Prev snippet here
Eddie had suspected for a while now that Buck felt the same, that the love between them was something more. Shannon had encouraged him after the tsunami to tell Buck, but Buck was drowning in guilt and self loathing and Eddie didn’t want him to think he didn’t mean the words, that he was just saying them to make Buck feel better. So he held off and then it just never felt like the right time.
After overhearing him and Shannon talking about it one day at Corner Store Cafe, Rosalie had placed her hand on his arm and squeezed gently, telling him that there was never some magical right time to tell someone you loved them, that whenever you decided to tell them, that was the right time.
Getting trapped under 40 feet of earth had really brought that point home. He could’ve died without Buck knowing that he loves him. That what they have goes beyond friendship. That it’s something soul deep and that Eddie loves him to his very core. He’s seen the good and the bad of Buck and he loves all of it, every broken and cracked piece painted gold and treasured.
No pressure tagging: @diazsdimples @hippolotamus @spotsandsocks @thewolvesof1998 @sunshinediaz @puppyboybuckley @exhuastedpigeon @athenagranted @hoodie-buck @wikiangela @nmcggg @steadfastsaturnsrings @try-set-me-on-fire @wildlife4life @watchyourbuck @elvensorceress @eddiebabygirldiaz @epicbuddieficrecs @lover-of-mine @evanbegins @missmagooglie @mellaithwen @monsterrae1 @ladydorian05 @loserdiaz @bigfootsmom @bekkachaos @jesuisici33 @jeeyuns @rainbow-nerdss @captain-hen @giddyupbuck @honestlydarkprincess @homerforsure @spagheddiediaz @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @devirnis @disasterbuckdiaz @the-likesofus @theotherbuckley @fortheloveofbuddie @fiona-fififi @sibylsleaves and anyone else wanting to join in ❤️
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bekkachaos · 3 days
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sunday sentences
tagged by @wikiangela @daffi-990 @tizniz tagging if you want to share anything 💕 @eddiebabygirldiaz @rogerzsteven @wh0re-behavi0r @bekkachaos @hippolotamus @monsterrae1 @spotsandsocks @diazsdimples @theotherbuckley @try-set-me-on-fire @giddyupbuck @exhuastedpigeon @eddiediazisascorpio @hoodie-buck @evanbegins @loveyouanyway here have the rest of the firefam being silly part 1 here, part 2 here, and part 3 below 💕
Eddie looks at Buck and Buck looks at Eddie, and it’s not as if Hen and Chim won’t know at some point. Everyone is going to know. 
Eddie just hopes they don’t also have to hear about tragic endings and wrecked relationships. 
He reaches a hand toward Buck at the same time that Buck reaches for him. Their fingers weave together because they should always be together. It’s easy to find each other and hold on. They fit perfectly. He’s wanted nothing more for years. 
Buck lifts their joined hands to show off proof. They did figure it out. They did overcome doubt and insecurity and a lot of stupidity. Eddie just hopes it’s enough. That it can keep being enough. 
“Yeah, that’s not anything,” Chim says, pointing at their hands. “You could be pretending. Are you lying? Are you faking it? Is that where we’re at? Holding hands is nothing. I can hold Cap’s hand. See?” He reaches his hand backwards toward the front seat. “Cap, hold my hand.”
Bobby waves Chim’s hand away instead of holding it. 
“Don’t interrupt Cap,” Buck says. 
“He’s busy praying for peace and quiet,” Eddie adds. 
Hen ignores anything happening on her left and only gives Buck and Eddie a narrow, scrutinizing look. “I’m not convinced either. You would lie about this just to mess with us. We need evidence one way or the other. Undeniable proof.”
Well. Then. If that’s the case. 
Eddie again looks to Buck, and Buck shrugs with a slow smirk of, since they asked for it. And they did ask for it. So. 
They move toward each other and everything else disappears when their lips meet. It’s small, soft, simple, lingering but still chaste, full of sweetness, and Eddie’s heart flutters like it would always soar with joy when they get to share this.
He can’t help grinning when they part and nudges his nose against the tip of Buck’s just because. Buck beams like sunshine back at him, not paying attention to Hen, Chim, Bobby or anything else any longer. 
It’s clearly not a first kiss. No one could possibly think it’s a first kiss. It’s too familiar. They’re way too happy. 
Buck even leans in and kisses him quickly one more time, and Eddie meets him there, anywhere, because how could he not? And then they return to just sitting next to each other, still holding hands, waiting for anyone to have a dispute with that. 
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bekkachaos · 3 days
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Seven Sentence Sunday 🏴‍☠️
Thanks for the tags @spotsandsocks @eddiebabygirldiaz @hoodie-buck @honestlydarkprincess 💕
I've been making very slow progress on the pirate au and life is crazy, but what else is new. Enjoy ✨
“So,” he says, finally breaking the silence. “You’ve had a little bit of time to think about it - what are you doing with your share?”  Buck holds the cup clasped in both hands and fidgets his thumbs over each other in an endless motion. He bothers his lower lip in his teeth, and Eddie has the urge to lean forward and break it free and smooth it over with his own thumb.  He keeps his hands to himself.  Buck shrugs with forced casualness, but he avoids Eddie’s gaze. “Probably just spend it on the usual things. Liquor and women.” He paints a smile on his face but it falls short of his eyes, and his voice is stilted and wrong.  Eddie doesn’t believe him, but he doesn’t force it. It’s not his business, anyways.  “I’d ask the same thing, but I guess I already know your answer,” Buck says. “Save Nassau. Walk away from the sea.”  “Basically,” Eddie agrees, although Buck doesn’t know that it’s so much deeper than that. Still, he hates that Buck already knows so much about him, while Eddie knows so little about Buck. He was a naval officer, willing to walk away from it all to pursue a treasure galleon with pirates. He was clever and brave, and he was charming. But beyond that, Eddie doesn’t know a single thing about the man. It doesn’t seem fair that Eddie could spend years building up his walls and defenses, yet it had been so easy for Buck to climb them while keeping up his own. 
Tagging @loserdiaz @rogerzsteven @monsterrae1 @heartshapedvows @spaceprincessem @bekkachaos @thewolvesof1998 @hippolotamus @wildlife4life @exhuastedpigeon @giddyupbuck and anyone else who wants to share something ✨
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bekkachaos · 4 days
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The worst part comes next
When they ask me if I'm okay
Because the answer is no
But that's not the answer they want
And so they will wait
For the time when the answer is yes
Like this is a pain that could be fixed
Like this a flu that will pass
Like all things, given time, can be 'okay'
But that's not the answer I can give
Because the answer is
That it feels like 'okay' lives somewhere else
A place that I used to live too
A place that I left one day and can never go back to
The worst part comes next
When it feels like I'll never be okay
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bekkachaos · 5 days
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call your girlfriend, it's time you had the talk
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bekkachaos · 5 days
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Oliver saying “we see everything” (Buddie related) in an interview,,,, sir I hope the FUCK you don’t
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bekkachaos · 5 days
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Lives (mine) were forever changed
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bekkachaos · 5 days
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bekkachaos · 5 days
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Chief isn't calling it an offiicial suspension. Just a pause.
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bekkachaos · 6 days
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Buddie in Every Episode:
2x01 - “Under Pressure”
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bekkachaos · 6 days
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7x02 "Rock the Boat" Stills - Location: Firehouse
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bekkachaos · 7 days
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I need Eddie to be silently trying to calm himself in the helicopter (with his face being SUPER loud) and Buck being like "do I need to talk you through the jello thing" before being seriously concerned about whether he's okay
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bekkachaos · 7 days
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Okay but Athena was right to let Poseidon stress her out before the cruise that movie haunted me as a child (who probably shouldn't have been watching but still)
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bekkachaos · 7 days
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I'm here because I want to be. With you.
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