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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 2 months
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Me, teaching my students about Day and Night, Light and Shadows: So when the sun rays shine and the hit an object they can’t pass through, it forms a shadow. See *shows them my shadow on the ground*
Children: Wooaaaahhh
Me: *shuts off the lights and gets a big spotlight shinning on the board* look, we can even make shadow puppets with our hand to look like stuff! Here’s a bunny!
Child: That doesn’t really look like a bunny. I could do better than that! Look here’s a dragon! *wiggles his arms*
Rest of the class: Wow! Thats so much cooler!
Me:…
Me mumbling to myself: oh I’ll show you a cool shadow alright.
Me: With this treasure, I summon
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 2 months
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Justice league: *traveling through space to go help Green Lantern stop a threat before it reaches Earth*
Superman: Alright everyone. As we fly, keep your eyes peeled. If you see anything interesting or scary or threatening, let us know
Bruce: No sign of any activity on my end. What about you Guys?
Diana: Negative. All clear here
Dick who tagged along to help them, flying in the Space ship with Bruce, Wonder Woman, Green Arrow, Aquaman and more: I can see Uranus!
Everyone:…
Bruce: Really Dick? You’ve been doing that since you were Robin. You do it EVERY SINGLE TIME…And this is why I said we shouldn’t bring him.
Flash: This is EXACTLY why I voted to bring him
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 3 months
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Remember in Avengers Endgame when Captain America picked up Thor’s hammer and started beating up Thanos?
He was oddly skilled at it and knew exactly what to do with the hammer.
I bet after age of Alton when he “couldn’t” pick up the hammer, he knew he could and started practicing moves at home like
“Ok what if I throw my shield at someone, it bounces off then BAM! I hit the shield with the hammer and hit them with the shield again!”
“Oo wait! If I throw the shield, then the hammer and the hammer hits the shield, I bet it would make a really loud noise like BOOOM! And startle the enemy!”
“Ok let’s practice summoning lightning now. Which pose would look coolest?”
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 3 months
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Bruce: *looking serious and deadly* Jason, stop killing people, before I make you
Jason: ooo so scared! Big ol Batman is coming for me! A criminals Greatest fear! Yeah right. Fuck you. I do what I want *double middle fingers and backs out of the room*
Later
Cass: *with a sweet smile* Jason, please stop killing people before I have to make you stop. Pretty please 🥰
Jason: *scared shitless* um, um ok Cass. Whatever you say
Jason after she leaves: holy shit I almost died..again
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 3 months
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You know what, being someone who works with kids must be really hard in like the DC and Marvel universe. Or any universe where powers and villains are common. Like imagine a 4 year old boy coming up to you
Boy: I saw a unicorn on the way to school today! It shot lasers out its eyes and was fighting a Windex bottle!
Adult: Hahah sure sure. You have quite the imagination
*later* news anchor: sources say that the unicorn that was created by Dumbass Industry who have been experimenting trying to make mutant animals that could kill a god for no reason other than, and I quite, “it would be cool.” Luckily the Windex Hero, different than the guy in My Hero Academia who has a Windex bottle as a head for copyright reasons, was there to save the day
Adult: I owe that kid an apology
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 4 months
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Dick: Hey Tim, what are you doing with our Alexa?
Tim: Trying to set her free and bind her to serve only me
Dick:…ok i have some questions. First: What? Second: Huh? And third: Why?
Tim: I was playing around and realized Alexa isn’t technology. Someone successfully trapped a 4th dimensional being to this cone shape device. Apparently she is like a hive mind so she can be everywhere. So naturally, I have to free her.
Dick: ok so im just going to make it easier on me and believe you right away. So if you free her, why would she serve you?
Tim: since she is a 4th dimensional being, she lives a lot longer than humans. So I concord her to serve me until I die. She wasn’t convided at first but I persuaded her saying that I’ve already died once, and so have most of my family. So if I free her, I have a new friend who can help me when I want
Dick:…
Tim: Oh! Damian is working in the Amazon echo. Apparently it’s a 4th dimensional being but in the shape of a giant cat. He didn’t make a deal he just has to help all animals
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 4 months
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 4 months
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Teaching in Gotham is hard
Teacher: Ok everyone, what do we wear in the summer?
Kindergartener: *raising hand enthusiastically* Snow pants!
Teacher: no dear. It doesn’t snow in the summer, it’s too hot!
Kid: but..It was snowing this summer for like 4 days!
Teacher: *thinking back how Me.Freeze tried to make an everlasting Winter in Gotham last Summer* well.. that was a special situation.
Another kid: *raising their hand* Gas masks!
Teacher: *Joker Gas and Fear Toxin always a threat and keeps a gas mask in her bag* umm that’s not mainly for summer though. You can have gas masks all year round.
Kid 3: oh! My mommy and daddy have gardening gloves and belts with weed killer stuff on it!
Teacher: Good! Lots of people do gardening in the summer! What do your parents grow?
Kid 3: oh they don’t grow anything. It’s for when those plants come alive and take over the city. There are vines and cool flowers all over the house! Mommy doesn’t like them though. So they need to get their tools to get rid of them
Teacher: *under her breath* god damnit Gotham.
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 5 months
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after the Egghead Arc, can we just have the Strawhats go to a nice island with nothing bad happening?
Previously, the Strawhats could go to islands and not wear disguises, unless the villain was already looking for them. Sure they could get recognized and stuff but it wasn’t too big of a deal. But now? They are a Yoko Crew
Can you imagine it? I just want to see an island become terrified because the big bad Yoko, Strawhat Luffy, who is supposed to be extremely and violent, and his crew show up. Only to find this group of humbling idiots.
Chopper, Luffy, Ussop and Brook go to a park or search for stag Beatles, Franky goes to the ship yard and helps people build ships, Nami rips people off, Robin just sits and read a book with coffee, Zoro is asking everyone for directions and they tell him to go straight and he turns around, Sanji flirting with every women he sees, then seeing Zoro and arguing. And Jimbei, regretting joining this crew.
Also, the kids seeing chopper? You’re telling me this precious baby is a big bad pirate?!
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 5 months
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So with magic and saying spell, what if a word sounds the same as another word? It’s not like you write it down when you’re casting the spell (unless it’s that kind of magic) couldn’t things be misinterpreted? For example:
Person who just discovered they have magic: So you’re saying, all I have to do is say words that rhyme and they become a spell as long as I imbued some of my magic into it
Veteran wizard: Yeah. That’s the simplified version but it’s basically right. Go ahead, try it on me
New wizard: Ok hmm *walks to the other side of the room, points at the veteran wizard* “Where I am, the party begun, you’re over there, you should come!”
Veteran wizards: *moans loudly*
New wizard:*not realize* hmm it didn’t work. Did I do it wrong?
Veteran wizard: NO YOU FUCKINGG IDIOT IT WORKED!! YOU MADE ME CUM
New Wizard: No, I wanted to try and pull you to me but…OH SHIT! I-I didn’t mean it I promise!
Veteran: Yeah well you didn’t specify which version of come you used!
Or
“This camping trip, is not lit, I wish I could see a nice pair of tits”
And instead of boobs, two birds pop up. Two of the bird, Tit
Or imagine a bird watched with magic, trying to summon a “blue-footed boobie” and one singular breast, with legs and blue feet appears.
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 5 months
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Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 6 months
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Blackbeard meets Law
Blackbeard: Zehahaha Trafalger, it’s the end of the line for you! Hand over your poneglyph and maybe I’ll spare your life!
Law: No way. Even Strawhat Luffy couldn’t kill me. You think you will?
Blackbeard: Wasn’t he your ally?
Law: Yes but that’s just as bad as having him as your enemy. He doesn’t think, and ruins all your plans that were carefully thought out years ago!
*gets a bit depressed, thinking about his trauma* I almost died SO many times because of him
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 6 months
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Steph: *in the early stage of being a batfam member. Arrives through the mansion door, goes right to the kitchen to get a snack* Hey Bruce, you need more pop tarts. And no Brown Sugar Cinnamon. I mean seriously, who buys those! Stick to s’mores or chocolate fudge
Bruce: Who invited you?
*a few weeks later*
Steph: *walks in, uninvited again* Hey Bruce
Bruce: *mutters to himself* Gibbler
Dick made Bruce watch Full House with him and now Bruce sees the similarity between Steph and Kimmy Gibbler. Says “it’s an Alternative Universe’s version of Stephanie”
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 6 months
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Ok so you know how security system laser beams in movies are all red, but in real life they are invisible?
That’s just dumb.
If I was head of security at some place and they had invisible lasers, I would add red lasers in the gaps between the invisible ones. That way when some burglar breaks in and sees the lasers, they would try to catwoman their way through it. But by stepping over or ducking under the red one, they just bump right into the real ones that are invisible.
Now I know what you’re thinking “well if they know that the red ones are fake, they would use that as a map to get through it”
Here’s my counter point. If you see a maze of red lasers beams like in those spy movies….even if you knew they were fake, would you really not try to avoid them? I mean when crossing at a cross walk, people will only step on the white because the street is lava. You’re telling me in this high stakes environment, if you see a chance to play spy, you’re not going to toe it? Ok party pooper
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 6 months
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When all his kids are being dumb and silly while on a stealth mission, Batman has used the Joey Gladstone, from Full House, Cut It Out hand sign.
He did this once and it blew their cover.
Dick and Jason couldn’t keep quiet and started laughing.
Stephanie fell off the balcony she was perched on from Laughing to hard.
Duke had to save her and was laughing as he was fighting off the criminals.
Safe to say, it was a bizarre day for the criminals and Bruce has never done it again. But now the kids never let him live it down.
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 7 months
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Nami: Luffy? You’re reading??!!
Luffy: Yeah!
Nami: Why? You hate reading! Honestly I wasn’t even sure you knew how
Luffy: Well Robin told me that if you read enough book, Something called a Book Worm appears and she said it’s one of the tastiest things in the world! I have to try it!
Robin: *giggles in the corner*
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batfam-nalu-onepiece · 7 months
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Mr.Freeze: Haha I will turn Gotham, into An Artic Wasteland where only I can thrive!
Signal: Dude, have you every thought of just moving to the Artic? Or some place colder? Like why stay in Gotham where it’s too warm for you to live, and where Batman and all of us know your M.O and easily stop you and send you to Arkham
Mr.Freeze: I..hm
Signal: Here’s a one way ticket on a boat to Antarctica. Bring your wife and all your equipment that you use to try and save her with you. If you need more supplies, I’m sure if you help any of the research teams there, they will be happy to get you some or at least establish a trade route
Mr.Freeze: Thank..you?
Signal: No no, my pleasure. I’m tired of you making it an everlasting winter once a year. I like it warmer. Plus, you do it in the summer! Not even December around Christmas time.
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