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trashargh
Trash Argh
griots-world
screaming thru letters so i wont go with my elders
griots-world
screaming thru letters so i wont go with my elders
crumblita
饾湕饾湚
dtksama
Death the Kid-sama
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Im not saying you are my sunshine
But
When I鈥檓 with you, sunshine is all I see.
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December 9
Do you really love him?
I asked myself.
Of course I do.
Even though I just meet them, I know deep down, there鈥檚 love, a lot.
He makes everything feel better and new, he gave me the freedom I needed and the care I so desperately asked for.
I know I just meet them, but there鈥檚 one thing I know for sure, and it鈥檚 the love I feel.
Because I have spend my fair time feeling, but never like this, never for someone.
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Tell-Tale Heart
I鈥檓 far from being perfect.
I鈥檓 guilty for a lot of things that I regret.
I lie when I say I don鈥檛 regret anything.
Truth be told, I spend most of my days in shame, regret, anger and guilt.
Edgar Allan Poe wrote about it in The Tell-Tale Heart, that鈥檚 why I love it so much, because no other story, poem, song or essay could describe how I feel.
I commit a crime, I feel great for a split second, then the sound of a beating heart eats my soul, it becomes all I can hear, all I can think and I think of ways to make it stop.
I know I did this.
I know it鈥檚 always me.
I know I鈥檓 guilty.
I鈥檓 looking for ways to make it stop聽
Before it ends me.
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When I die...
I wonder what will happen to all the stuff I love when I die
Is my collection of CDs become garbage to my family? Are they end up in a box, in a tight space, accumulating dust until someone decides it's time to throw them in the garbage?
Will people I love use my jewelry collection?
Would my boyfriend remind me using my nail polish every now and then?
What about my books? Is my little sister going to be interested in what her big sis used to read when she was her age?
Or is everything I love just a pile of stuff waiting to become garbage when I'm gone?
#poem#poetry#sad poem#depressing quotes#midnight thoughts#hearbreak#tw suicide#depressing shit#tw death#suicidal#after death
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A conversation with myself
You know, I think what people say is true
And what do people say?
They say suicidal people don't actually want to kill themselves, what they want to kill is their pain, their sadness. So I ask you this, what is hurting you? Why are you sad?
Well, that's the thing, I don't know.
You can't "not know" something that important.
All I know is, I'm a body without a soul, I spend my days going around, almost like floating, numb, I try hard to make this that matter, make things the right way, but I'm not even good at that.
And what is "the right way"?
I guess its subjective.I don't know and I don't want to think about it.
And yet, that's all you do. Think about the things you don't do, all the mistakes you make, everything you wish you could have said...
People is right, you know? You don't want to die, you actually, want to start living. You want to start feeling like you have idealized, you just didn't know life would get harder and harder. But we are strong, we can take it.
I don't think I can take it anymore, life won't be better just because, it won't stop hurting just because I say so. You know that's bullshit.
Well, I know I can't fool myself, I'm just trying to get you to drop the pills. We know that's not what you want, I won't just kill the part that's hurting.
But what other alternative do I have? It's been 8 years.
We will figure that out, give us some time. Drop the pills.
.
Thank you, now, just go to sleep, we will figure this out, even if it takes us another 8 years, you know everything will be fine, you know I'm right, why else would I exist? I'm you. I'm the hand that dries your tears, I'm the part of you that knows you want to live.
I just hope you don't go anywhere, because you are right, and without you, I will lose this fight.
Then, I went upstairs and lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, until I fell asleep.
#poem#poetry#sad poem#depressing quotes#midnight thoughts#tw suicide#suicidal#depressing shit#tw depression#depressed#mentally exhausted#mentally unstable#mentall illness
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My last days
" Something went wrong. Just don't panic. "
Its what appeared on the screen when I tried to take a reddit 5 minutes break.
I wish I could "Just don't panic", when I need to get things done, when I try to keep going, when things start to get out of hand.
I can't control my body, my heart seems to be racing while im just sitting, like its trying to scape, I get that, I also try to scape.
I try to scape my body.
I try to scape my mind.
I am no longer in control of neither of those.
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22:22
Now I realize, I'm not a second option.
Because for you, I will never be an option.
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A body that I no longer control
I'm tired
Tired of waking up in puddles of sweat
Machine gun in my chest, shaking every part of my body
Heavy breathing as the only thing I can hear.
My heart and my brain doesn't understand what's going on
Neither do I.
Tired body, mind and soul.
My hands reach for help into the abyss, hoping for something to hang on, nothing there.
There's a rope, tight in my neck, everyday keeps getting tighter and tighter.
I'm not sure for how long I can keep myself in control.
#poem#poetry#sad poem#depressing quotes#midnight thoughts#hearbreak#mentally unstable#mentally exhausted#anxiety#panic
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A goodbye note
Losing you wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it would be
I have lose you before
And if you come back, I know I will lose you again.
That's how it is with you, I'm always here, but you are not. And I'm getting tired of it.
I do love you, but I can't keep hoping for you to stay. I'm done with that.
#poem#poetry#love#sad poem#i love you#hearbreak#love poem#depressing quotes#midnight thoughts#goodbye#cigarettes
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Wars and ghosts
Sometimes I don't understand where does my nostalgia ends and a d茅j脿 vu begins
Because I know I'm sad, and I know I've been here.
But it was not me. It was another version of me.
When you stoped loving me and started to hurt me, I lost myself. I lost who I was.
The city now hurts because of you.
A city that watched me grow old is now an abandoned war field.
A war that almost ends with me.
And even though I survived, I carry in my shoulders the weight of thousands of attacks.
My ribs where shattered, my heart stabbed, my throat pressed.
Or at least that's what it felt like.
So whenever I'm in town, I look back to all things I've survive, and all the things you deserve, but you don't end a war with more wars.
I took a deep breath and know, as long as I keep my head up, you won't get another chance.
This ends here.
#poem#poetry#love#sad poem#hearbreak#war#ghosts#depression#midnight thoughts#depressing quotes#depressed#ghost town
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Dreams
Once again you were on my dreams
It was beautiful, we were so happy
You loved me
I wish I could live inside my dreams, were you are still here with me
Where your touch is forever, and your lips belong to me
Then, I woke up
After this dream, I don't want to be awake ever again.
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Don't go
You told me you wanted everything to end
Then you ignore my calls
I can't loose you
Please, answer the phone and tell me everything is going to be okay, at least let me say it to you
Cause I can't live in a world where you are gone
Don't just say you want to die and then don't reply
I will listen to you till the end, but please just tell me you are okay
I need to know
I need you
Please, don't give up.
#poem#poetry#love#sad poem#hearbreak#love poem#depressing quotes#midnight thoughts#tw death#tw suicide#suicidal#i love you
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I'm sorry, but I miss you
I hate to admit it to myself, but the truth is that I do.
Even after how you treated me and the words you said to me
All I can think is
Why did you leave?
Why does everybody leave me?
I can't say I'm surprised, but I'm definitely heartbroken
I miss you so
I wish you were here
As a friend, as a shoulder to cry in, as a partner.
How can I go back?
Can you please come back?
#poem#poetry#love#sad poem#i love you#midnight thoughts#hearbreak#i miss you#come back#dont leave me#dont leave please
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I can't do this anymore
My depression is sleeping all day long
My depression is the pile of dirty dishes
My depression is the messy bun in my hair because I can't take a bath
It is my overdose of pills
It is all the homework I need to do
My depression is barely eating for long periods of time
My depression is me gaining weight and feeling bad because of it
My depression is all the letters I have written
My depression is winning the battle
It is growing every single day
My depression is my family not knowing how dangerous and fatal it really is
My depression is taking me away from everyone and everything I ever loved
It is my reason to not want to be here
It is all I know now
#poem#poetry#sad poem#depressing quotes#midnight thoughts#tw suicice#death cw#suicidal#depression#tw depression#tw overdose#i want to die
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Songs at midnight
I was listening to this song for the first time, the lyrics made me think about you
Think I've figured out how
How to think about you without it rippin' my heart out
Then it hits me again
Would you love me for the hell of it?
I know, you know, we know
We weren't meant for each other and it's fine
But if the world was ending
You'd come over, right?
You'd come over and you'd stay the night
I know you wouldn't, you made it very clear.
But honestly I'm okay with that, I don't want you to, now I know that.
Thank you for everything, but it is time for me to let go.
To finally let you go, you and all the pain that just thinking about you brings.
I honestly won't miss you.
You made it easy for me.
#poem#poetry#love#sad poem#depressing quotes#midnight thoughts#hearbreak#if the world was ending#songs#wont miss you#i dont love you
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Empty
I don't write about you anymore
I stopped counting the days
I stopped waiting for something to happen
I just exist, for no reason, without a motive.
My meals are pills
My dreams are forced
Silence became my friend and my bed my cage.
I don't think I can be hurt, I'm sure I'm already at the lowest
I just don't care anymore. Not you, not me, not anything.
Feels kinda light, empty.
Actually, I think I just don't feel anything at all.
#poem#poetry#sad poem#depressing quotes#midnight thoughts#tw suicice#hearbreak#death cw#emptiness#empty inside#depressed#depression#depressing shit
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Telephone bills
I give up
As I realize nobody is going to pick up the phone
I'm all alone and nobody is going to save me
Not even the ones who promised to answer my calls no matter what, no matter the hour, or the day of the year.
I look at the phone one last time
I'm all alone
Please don't hurt yourself
Think about your family
I drop the knife.
I grab a cigarette instead
I'll be my own hero tonight.
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