Tumgik
awoodenpen · 3 days
Text
Tumblr media
3K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 5 days
Text
It’s a service industry. You have to deal with so many adults.
Tumblr media
132K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 6 days
Text
I will not count any pets or my kids as the five celebrities. They are:
Aunt Gayle (from Bob’s Burgers)
Taylor Swift (from a Super Bowl meme)
Gonzo & Rizzo (from The Muppets Christmas Carol)
Queen Elizabeth II, but from Christopher Eccleston’s post with the comment “parasite-in-chief with her idiot hat”.
annnddd
Cecil Baldwin, on stage from the Welcome to Night Vale live show from my seat.
I think that these (the QE2 image is more CE) would show I would have an interesting time. Or something. I don’t know what the point of that all was.
"the 5th celebrity you have saved on your phone -" you and i live in vastly different worlds
3K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 6 days
Text
in a kinder world i live in an i spy page
Tumblr media
30K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 8 days
Text
Highlights from the conference room where they nominated contenders for Word of the Year 2023:
• They put Skibidi Toilet on the projector to explain what “skibidi” means.
• Baby Gronk was mentioned.
• We discussed the Rizzler.
• “Cunty” was nominated.
• “Enshittification” was suggested for EVERY category.
• “Blue Check” (like from Twitter) was briefly defined as “Someone who will not Shut The Fuck Up”
• The person writing notes briefly defined babygirl as “referencing [The Speaker]”. He is now being called babygirl in the linguist groupchats.
• MULTIPLE people raised their hand to say “I cannot stress this enough: ‘Babygirl’ refers to a GROWN MAN”
73K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 8 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
6K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 9 days
Text
Horrible new Cryptid! Thing of nightmares & cruelty! It can fly & gallop & swim, all while hunting you (and your bread)! I love/fear it!
My brain: You have so many tight deadlines. So many things on your weekly schedule. So many important jobs. You have to get important work done!!!
My hands:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
85K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 10 days
Text
Tumblr media
Jumping on an art trend because drawing stupid shit is good for your health
4K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 10 days
Text
If I said it once, I’ll say it again:
The Scouring of the Shire is as important to the story as the slaying of the Witch-King or the Siege of Isengard or Frodo yeeting the Ring (and Gollum) into Mount Doom.
Because of this.
Tumblr media
60K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 10 days
Text
The Bachelor is canonically Galifreyan.
Sorry for who-posting in the year 2019 but the Doctor is actually so named because he wrote and successfully defended a dissertation at an accredited university whereas the Master completed a 2-year graduate program in his chosen field, which points to the existence of a third less-advanced and less-specialized counterpart, the Bachelor
133K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 11 days
Photo
Tumblr media
The tailors at Colonial Williamsburg made a suit for their cat
46K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 13 days
Text
My dog when the line is too long for his Pup Cup.
Tumblr media
Skull of St. Thomas Aquinas being transported to Fossanova Abbey. Photograph by Daniel Ibanez, 2024
21K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 15 days
Text
It’s their “Get Along” Box. It is not working as intended.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Trapped in the computer bc they unleashed the horrors U_U
If Jonah is actually in there i'll eat my keyboard
9K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 15 days
Text
I’ll add one!
It’s not a candid, but this two of the movie’s stars posing like chums:
Tumblr media
That’s Brooke Smith & Ted Levine on set from Silence of the Lambs. That’s Catherine & Jame Gumb.
Ted Levine is great! Almost all of his other roles are Cowboy YeeHa, Detective Policeman, or Lt. Major Militaryman. This includes Captain Leland Stottlemeyer on the show Monk, Tony Shalhoub (of Thir13en Ghosts fame).
honestly nothing for me will top the energy of BTS photos/videos of horror movie monsters/demons/creatures/etc in full makeup just hanging out… like
Tumblr media
energy….
101K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 18 days
Text
I usually don’t care about award shows. But I like this movie and this song.
I’m absolutely okay with this song not winning, because the Billie Eilish song from the movie (What Was I Made For?) won. This way, Ken is still #2 to Barbie.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
RYAN GOSLING and MARGOT ROBBIE 'I'm Just Ken' at the 96th Academy Awards
5K notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 19 days
Text
UPDATE
Good news: I steered her away from knotting books.
Bad news: It involved telling her about everything I knew about Renesmee Cullen. Which happened to be only 75% of the information about Renesmee. My wife knew 0% about Renesmee, including her name and its etymology. It also included imprinting and Jacob.
Good news: She cracked herself up informing me that last 25%. She is equally horrified about Renesmee as she is amused.
Tonight, my wife is giving me live-reactions to Bride by Ali Hazelwood.
This is includes her learning about knotting. She did Google books that include knotting in the smutty parts. “Hey, I think I read that one,” she said.
4 notes · View notes
awoodenpen · 19 days
Text
Tonight, my wife is giving me live-reactions to Bride by Ali Hazelwood.
This is includes her learning about knotting. She did Google books that include knotting in the smutty parts. “Hey, I think I read that one,” she said.
4 notes · View notes