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tumblr removed the tags from the end of the chapter so if you've seen this more than once its bc tumblr is stupid
A Change In Duty - 7
series summary: In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.
pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader
word count: 4.5k
chapter warnings: romance, hurt/comfort, angst, soft!bucky is all heart eyes, fluff
a/n - if you saw this a first time, tumblr is literally stupid so this is me reposting it
series masterlist // next chapter
Natasha could sense the change in your demeanor over the next few months. She began to notice how the tenseness from your shoulders had completely dissipated. You had finally begun to feel at ease and relaxed, and it warmed her heart. Especially considering the fact that her wedding was less than two weeks away, it brought her some relief that you were your usual self. A side to you that she had only seen a handful of times.
It was a beautiful sight for her to see the happiness in your cheeks and the light in your eyes. You felt lighter, the weight that had been sitting on your shoulders had finally been released, Bucky had made sure of that.
The more time you spent with him, the happier you felt. Being in the presence of him made you feel safe, more secure than ever.
A chill swept up your spine as you stepped into the corridor, a fleece lined cloaked sat on your shoulders over your dress. You made your way down to the kitchens, peering your head inside, seeing Wanda sitting at one of the benches enjoying her breakfast.
You slipped into the room, sneaking two muffin pastries from the cabinet and quickly made your way back to the hallway, walking in the direction of the training grounds, looking around for the captain, wanting to give him a little boost of energy for the day.
It was a snowy morning; the skies were painted grey, still recovering from the raging storm that had passed earlier this morning. You had remembered Bucky mentioning the clouds that began to pass through the mountain. Snow would be expected for the next couple of weeks. Though you didn’t mind, it was a beautiful sight to see. As you came up to the training yard, you looked around the nearly empty grounds that were covered in snow searching for the captain, but all you found was his lieutenant and squire. Sam’s eyes moved from the young boy and beckoned you forward with his hand.
“Morning, my lady,” Sam greeted you with a warm smile.
“Good morning,” you reiterated softly, sending a warm smile to the young squire. You glanced around the yard. “Do you know where Bucky is?”
A knowing smile crossed over his face and he nodded. “Went out for a ride with Dahlia. He should be returning any minute.”
You nodded, tightening your hold on the pastry in your hand. Sam noticed the slight tension in your body, and he patted Peter’s shoulder and made his way over to you, standing inches away from you.
“Y’know,” the knight started as you looked over at him. “he is just as infatuated as you are. Probably even more,” You smiled slightly, your shoulders relaxed. “I’ve known the captain for years and I can truthfully say that I have never seen him this happier since your and Her Grace’s arrival. I believe you make him a better person, lady.”
Your brows furrowed; that couldn't possibly be true. You had been told stories of Bucky’s bravery during the war, during his time as captain, defending the kingdom and its people from danger.
How could your presence make him better than he already is?
You opened your mouth to retort, but Sam held up his hand. “Believe me when I say he has not been this happy and chipper in a long while. He may not seem like it with you, but with me he’s the grumpiest person I have ever met.”
You couldn’t stop the smile that took over your features, cheeks burning hot. Who would have thought that someone like you, a noblewoman who had hopped from region to region with no immediate family, had wounded the captain of the knight guard on his knees for you.
“Do I make it that obvious?” you quietly asked, and Sam laughed, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Peter shovel the snow away.
“Kind of,” Sam chuckled. “But he makes it way more obvious.” He winked at you just as the gates opened slightly. The sounds of hooves galloping against the road came closer within earshot. “Besides, I think you two are perfect, I believe you even each other out. And you have really helped him.”
Sam’s words echoed in your mind and you sent him a smile, turning your head to see Bucky and Dahlia ride in just across the yard. Until blue eyes landed on yours, then did he guide the black mare in your direction. The lieutenant stepped back just as Bucky dismounted and made his way over to you with a smile.
“Good morning,” Bucky whispered in a low voice, leaning in to grab your hand and place a soft kiss against your palm.
You could have nearly melted at the sound of his voice.
“Hi,” you breathed out, pushing the wrapped pastry in Bucky’s direction. “I remember you saying that you liked the blueberry muffins Wanda had made a few weeks ago.”
Bucky smiled as he took the two pastries from your grasp, leaning down to smell the sweetness of the muffin. ‘’Thank you, sweetheart,” You smiled and nodded and began to pull away, but he held onto your hand tighter, keeping you anchored to him. “Have you eaten today?”
“No, I have not,” you mumbled, slightly cursing yourself for not grabbing something for yourself. Perhaps you could snack on something with Natasha later whilst going over the guest list for the wedding.
“Have breakfast with me.” Bucky requested, not giving you a chance to answer because he was pulling you by the hand towards the castle. You obliged silently with a smile, holding his hand tightly as he led you to the kitchen, where thankfully there was no one. The lingering smell of the porridge the cooks made hit your nose and your stomach grumbled in response.
Bucky sat you down at the table and squeezed your shoulder before making his way to the stove, reaching for a bowl. You watched him with adoration as he ladled porridge into a bowl and topped it off with the fruits you enjoyed the most and brought it over to you.
The flutter in your stomach as his fingers brushed against yours was hard to ignore, not with the way he effortlessly cared for you. It was a foreign concept to you, some things were going to take a little longer to get used to, but even after everything he had done for you, his actions still surprised you.
“Thank you, Bucky,” you said, reaching out to grasp his hand as he finally settled next to you.
“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart,” he insisted, but you shook your head.
“No, I need to. I really appreciate you, Bucky. Even when I pushed you away you still put effort into caring for me. It is something I am not used to, but I cherish your thoughtfulness so much.”
If he could, he would have pressed his lips against yours if you were just a couple inches closer. He so desperately wanted to, grasping your body closer to his.
Bucky squeezed your hand affectionately and nodded his head. “There isn’t anything I wouldn't do for you, milady.” He placed your porridge in front of you, along with a glass of juice. “Eat. You’ll need your strength for later today.”
You smiled and took a bite of your breakfast, all while still holding onto his hand tightly.
---
The crackling of the fire filled the small space of the library as you spread out all the guest names, unaware of the surnames written elegantly on the thick cards. Natasha held Steve’s hand as they both walked hand in hand behind you, silently going over the names. Bucky and Sam stood yards away, standing with straight, rigid postures, though Bucky loosened whenever you glanced his way with a smile.
“Is this everyone, lady?” Natasha asked, grasping Steve’s arm tightly, pulling him along.
You hummed, taking a step back from the table where the cards sat. “The Kingdom of Wakanda sends their congratulations to you and their apologies for not making it. Otherwise, here are the two hundred guests who will be attending, though it is mainly your people.”
“I took the liberty of inviting some from all around the lands, though I am not expecting everyone to be in attendance. The harsh storm is projected the week of our glorious day, I doubt some will actually make the trip up here,” Steve said, looking over at Natasha with a smile.
The look of love. A look that had crossed Bucky’s face whenever he gazed at you.
“The less people the better, I would say,” Natasha whispered, though you could hear here even though you buried yourself. “Just you and I, my love.”
“Just you and I, dove.” Steve repeated, leaning in to place a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth.
You felt eyes bore into your form and you moved your eyes from the cards over to the knight standing by the bookshelf, his attention solely on you, the softest smile and the adoration glinting in the ocean of his eyes as he looked at you.
This time, you did not shy away from his gaze.
Instead, you smiled at him and looked back, a silent conversation played between the two of you. His eyes fell from your face down to the dark colored dress that you wore, smiling when he saw the rose pendant hanging from your neck, the memory of him first defending you flashed through his mind.
His azure eyes found yours once again, this time lighter.
You look beautiful. You could hear this gaze tell you, even with no words spoken.
Your hand instinctively found its way to the rose, grasping the charm tightly as you subtly bowed your head at him and looked away after minutes of gazing into the blues of his eyes.
You turned your attention back down to the cards again, glancing over to your dearest friend to see her in Steve’s arms as they admired the snowfall together, relishing in each other’s presence, quietly conversing, though you could not directly hear them, a smile crossed your face as you heard Natasha’s quiet laughter.
Though Bucky’s gaze remained locked onto yours, you continued to look at the attendees for the wedding, wondering who you would get the honor of meeting. You smiled to yourself, seeing the captain still locked on you in your peripheral vision. Turning your head, you looked towards him and playfully rolled your eyes at him, emitting a chuckle from the knight before you turned back to the cards, a smile evident in your features.
The smile was torn from you in an instant, vanished completely and it felt as if all the air from your lungs was stolen as your eyes locked onto the card with the names of the people who haunted your dreams.
King Alexander Pierce.
Your hands began to tremble, even after you formed them into fists.
Prince Brock Rumlow.
Tears burned in the backs of your eyes, threatening to peek out.
Prince Quentin Beck.
Breaths came in too quickly, you felt dizzy and numb.
You wanted to wither away and lock yourself in your room, but you remained still, a lump formed in your throat as you tried to bring yourself out of the memory that was threatening to reel you in, pulling you beneath the surface.
I am not their puppet anymore. I am not their puppet anymore. I am not their puppet anymore. I am not their puppet anymore-
A warm familiar hand touched the small of your back and a soft voice spoke out to you, quietly and hushed, “Y/n? Are you alright?”
The sound of your name falling from his lips pulled you from the dark waters that dared to drown you. You blinked your eyes and turned to him with a look of fear, adoration quickly vanished, and Bucky could see the panic beginning to bubble over.
He quickly caught your hand in his, squeezing tenderly as he ran his thumb over your scars, cautiously glancing back to Steve and Natasha, seeing them both caught in their own little world.
He tightened his hold on your hand, his other hand tightening around your waist. His head dipped down, his lips brushed against the shell of your ear, “You’re okay, you’re not there anymore. You’re safe with me, you’re safe. It’s just you and me sweetheart.”
Your heartbeat began to settle and you found yourself following his breathing, slowly inhaling and exhaling just as he did, until you found your breath again.
Bucky pulled back, placing a hand on your shoulder, urging you to look at him. He was silent, and just as before, his eyes upheld a conversation.
Please don’t shut me out. Not now. Cerulean eyes begged you and you pushed out a smile, albeit small and forced.
“Later, please.” you softly requested, only loud enough for the knight to hear.
Bucky nodded and began to pull away from you, but not before placing a soft kiss against your temple. Your eyes slipped closed, relishing in the feel of his lips against your skin, his hand tightening around yours before both of his touches pulled away simultaneously. He walked back to his post, though kept an eye on you, as you’d expected.
You took a moment to compose yourself, sniffling quietly and patting the skin under your eyelids with your fingers until you looked ahead at Natasha, revealed to see her still in Steve’s arms, oblivious to the world around them.
“Shall I leave you be, Nat?” you called quietly, and the woman turned in her lover’s arms, eyes widened.
“Oh, my dearest,” Natasha squeezed Steve’s arm before untangling herself from him and making her way over to you. “I think I would like to spend the day alone with my fiancé.”
She was smiling brightly and it brought joy to you, knowing that she finally had found her love. You nodded and hooked your pinky around hers before pulling away, leaving her alone with her lover. Bucky’s gaze followed you as you made your way out of the library, though you stopped in front of him.
“Later.” you reminded him.
Bucky nodded and leaned down, placing a kiss against your cheek. Once he pulled away, you silently made your way out of the library, exhaling shakily once the doors shut. The trembling resumed and you brought a hand to your mouth to muffle the sob that threatened to spill out.
You couldn’t escape them, no matter how far you fled.
Anxiety bubbled in the pit of your stomach as you wrapped your hand around the frigid metal railing, looking over towards the snow covered mountains, praying to the gods above that they wouldn’t make it due to the weather.
If not, you feared the things they would do once they found out where you were.
---
You had been staring at the same page for well over ten minutes. A huff of frustration passed through your lips and you stood up, tossing your book on the table as you strode to the window. The sun was beginning to set, casting beautiful shades of purple and pink across the sky. An anxious feeling had been gnawing at you for hours, and no matter what you tried, you could not get rid of it, continuing to nibble on your lip.
You heard the door to the small study that you currently found yourself in open suddenly, automatically knowing it was Bucky.
“Is it later?” His voice was soft. Your throat tightened as you turned to face him, meeting his concerned gaze. He stepped forward, reaching for your hand. “Let’s go for a ride.”
Your brows furrowed as his hand tightened around yours, looking back to the window to see the lowering sun. “The sun is going down. How will you ride in the dark?”
Bucky said nothing and led you out of the study by the hand. You caught his eye but all he gave you was a smile. “Just trust me.”
Trust me.
Of course you trusted him, there wasn’t anyone else in the entire universe who had treated you with this much kindness, this much love. In perspective, Bucky shouldn’t have cared this much, as you were just a woman tending to her employer.
Yet there he was, a comforting shoulder to cry on, a companion to make light conversation as you ventured into town, someone to call a friend.
Perhaps even more.
“I do.” you said as he slipped on a heavy cloak over your shoulders, tightening several knots from your sternum down just below your bust. His eyes met yours, his gaze never leaving you, even as he brought the hood over your head. It was only when he led you to the stables did his eyes leave yours.
The dark fur of Dahlia caught your eye and you couldn’t help the surge of excitement that passed through you. As Bucky went to gather supplies, you made your way towards the mare, holding your hand out, but she did not need to sniff your scent as she immediately brushed her head along your arm.
“Hello, sweet thing,” you whispered softly, scratching along the white patch of fur along her snout. A hand gently touched your shoulder and you looked to the side to see Bucky pack the last few of his supplies.
He wordlessly handed you a bundle of carrots to feed Dahlia and he prepped her saddle. It didn’t take long, once he was finished, he couldn’t help but to stop and watch how the smile you wore reached your eyes, even a little. He noticed you looking back at him and reached out for your hand.
“I thought we could try something a little different this time,” Bucky said, placing his hands on your waist. You could feel him rub his thumb over the fabric of your dress. “You’ll want a good viewing seat.”
Before you could process his words, Bucky lifted and placed you directly onto the saddle, waiting for you to adjust yourself before he hoisted himself behind you. He reached around you, grabbing the reins and looked down at you.
“Ready?”
You nodded and he tugged on the reins, letting Dahlia take off through the open stable doors. You leaned back into Bucky, head falling onto his shoulder, feeling one of his arms snake across your waist to hold you steady.
Shades of pink and purple and orange nearly faded, revealing the dark night sky. You clutched onto Bucky’s arm tightly, seeing the dark forest come into view. But he just held you firmly to his chest and whispered, “look up to the sky.”
Your eyes glanced over to him briefly before turning to the dark sky. Just as Dahlia passed through the first line of trees before a green light casted over the sky, spreading out, feathering across the sky. A gasp passed through your lips, watching in awe as the light shifted through the sky, moving along with the air.
“Not completely dark,” Bucky whispered in your ear as Dahlia galloped further in. Bucky didn’t want to go further than a few miles, knowing the dangers of the cold forest.
“The Northern Lights, right?” Bucky nodded. “It is so… beautiful,” you breathed out. Bucky kept his gaze solely on you, even as he slowed down his horse. Watching the way you were smiling, the light in your eyes he hadn’t seen since this morning, whatever tore the spirit away from you. There were names he himself recognized, but he was cautious about the idea of assuming anything.
“It is,” he murmured, keeping his gaze on you as he pulled on the reins. Green reflected off the snow, giving the forest more light than you had expected.
Moments of comfortable silence passed by before Bucky eventually had to ask.
“I think it is later now.” he whispered against your ear. He could feel you nod against his shoulder, eyes still glued to the sky, so he gave you a few moments to compose yourself. You leaned forward, slipping away from his warmth. His hands ran up and down your torso before he dismounted, keeping close to Dahlia.
“Whatever it is, I am here with you. I am not going to let anything happen to you, Y/n. I promise.” Bucky said, latching onto your hand.
You could have melted right off of Dahlia and into his arms, but you held yourself steady. Your eyes slipped close for a moment and you gripped his hand tightly and took a deep breath.
Trust me.
Your eyes fluttered open, meeting azure eyes.
“I saw their names on one of the cards,” you whispered, eyes gauging the sudden rigidness of his shoulders, though his facial features softened. “They will be here for the wedding.”
Bucky nodded, understanding who ‘they’ were. He could hear it in the shakiness of your voice, the fear that covered your eyes. He stroked the back of your hand as you explained the fears you felt.
He couldn’t stop the rage that swam through his body, the fury he felt knowing there was no way you could avoid them at the wedding. You would be in a constant state of anxiety, of paranoia, of fear. He couldn’t let you become fearful of your own home.
“What are their names?” Bucky asked, voice steadily calm despite the anger and fury he felt.
He had to keep his anger far away from you.
You had been subjected to enough of it in your lifetime. After nearly half a year knowing you, Bucky could get a read on what made you anxious and what made you calm.
You shook your head, hands beginning to tremble.
“Y/n, I need to know who they are. You may not want to, but we need to tell Steve-”
Your hand ripped out of his hand in an instant. “No! No, Ste- His Majesty does not need to know. It does not concern him, therefore he does not need to know. Nor does Natasha. It does not concern them,” you cried out, eyes filling with tears. The sight nearly broke Bucky’s heart.
“Your safety is my number one concern.”
You gaped at him, and the one question you had been holding in finally spouted through. “Why do all of this for me, Bucky? I am merely a servant! I-I am not some princess or queen, just a noblewoman, the queen’s lady! The purpose of my position here is to serve my-”
“Not to me you’re not,” the knight retorted, taking a step back towards the mare and he reached for your waist and pulled you off the saddle and into the warmth of his arms.
“Bucky!” you yelped, clutching onto his forearms.
But the knight did not listen to you, not as he picked you up and effortlessly carried you until the two of you were under the branches of the towering trees, your back pushed gently up against the base of the tree.
His hold wasn’t caging or forceful. More careful and gentle.
“You are so much more than just a lady to me,” Bucky said, exhaling heavily as his eyes bore into yours. “To me, you are everything. Ever since the first moment you stepped into the palace, all I wanted was you. You, woman, have captivated me. You have made me a better knight, a better captain, soldier… a better man.” His shoulders rose and fell, though you did not feel any fear. Not as his hand gently held your cheek. “You have no idea what you do to me, sweetheart. I care about you more than I should, but I don’t care. I protect what I care about. And I will fight a king if it means you are away from harm.”
His heavy breaths fell from parted lips and you couldn’t help as your eyes flickered from his eyes down to his lips. Bucky leaned his forehead against yours.
“You are all I care about. Nothing else matters when I am with you.” he whispered before pressing his lips against yours, melting against you as he felt your lips press into his.
You had been kissed before, but never like this. Never as passionate as this.
Everything Bucky did was gentle. The way he held you, hugged you, kissed you. You would have expected his lips to be chapped and dry from being out in the cold weather, but they were soft against yours and he kissed you, you could not help but smile against his mouth.
You kissed the knight that had shown you nothing but kindness and a delicacy that no man had ever bestowed on you.
Once you pulled away, shoulders heaving, lips swollen and flushed skin, Bucky pressed his forehead against yours, holding you close. You kept your hands firmly on his chest, sighing softly.
“You have no idea how long I have been waiting to do that,” Bucky breathed out and you couldn't help the giggle that passed through your lips.
“I am glad you did,” you whispered against his cheek. Bucky pressed his lips into the skin of your cheek, trailing down to your jaw.
He peppered kisses along your jaw, teasing your neck slightly before placing a kiss against your lips. It was short and sweet, the way he held your face could have made you melt where you stood.
“I need names, Y/n.” Bucky whispered against your lips. He pulled away and pulled you into his chest, arms circling around your waist. You wrapped yourself in his warmth, resting your head against his heartbeat.
You looked up at the lights in the sky again, sighing softly. “Can I tell you tomorrow?”
Bucky pulled you away and pressed his lips against your forehead. “You can tell me tomorrow, honey. But for now, let’s go home.”
Home. It was now in the Northern Lands, you decided. After tonight, there wasn’t anywhere else you would want to be. You wouldn’t trade being in Bucky’s arms on the way home for anything in the world.
The half of a year being in the north was far better than the eight years spent in the East.
There, nobody was like Bucky, who offered to help you off a horse, ease the heavy cloak from your shoulders, and walk you to your chambers.
You hadn’t loved anyone like you loved Bucky.
He led you to the comfort of your bed, helping you out of your shoes and turning away respectively as you changed into the soft fabric of your nightgown. You sat down on your bed, looking at Bucky as he kneeled in front of you.
You leaned down and kissed him, pleading eyes boring into his.
“Can you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?” you asked shyly, swallowing nervously, but his warm hand held your cheek.
“I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”
It took a moment before you were both comfortably laying in bed, Bucky’s arms wrapped around you as your back pressed to his chest. He could feel the rigidness of your muscles, so he ran his hand over your stomach, holding you tighter to his chest.
Issues could be resolved tomorrow.
For tonight, you decided everything was okay, and you felt Bucky’s soft lips against your temple before sleep lured you in.
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Hi! In the masterlist for your series, the link to chapter 7 doesn’t seem to be working :o
it should working now, tumblr has been acting so crazy for me
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A Change In Duty - Masterlist
series summary: Change has been no stranger to you your entire life. So, when the dear friend that you work for engages to a King and requests you to accompany her to her new home, you are beyond happy; a perfect way to start a new change in your life. In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. As the months go by, you find yourself swiftly falling for the knight. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.
pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader (medieval au)
series warnings: canon level violence, romance, angst, period-typical misogyny, mentions/references to abuse, protective!bucky is backkkk, hurt/comfort, fluff, knight!bucky because hes a warning
* set in a separate time than this one shot. they have similarities, but have no correlation whatsoever.
a/n - my obsession with knight!bucky is unhealthy :’), i will be posting wednesdays every other week
Keep reading
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A Change In Duty - 7
series summary: In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.
pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader
word count: 4.5k
chapter warnings: romance, hurt/comfort, angst, soft!bucky is all heart eyes, fluff
a/n - if you saw this a first time, tumblr is literally stupid so this is me reposting it
series masterlist // next chapter
Natasha could sense the change in your demeanor over the next few months. She began to notice how the tenseness from your shoulders had completely dissipated. You had finally begun to feel at ease and relaxed, and it warmed her heart. Especially considering the fact that her wedding was less than two weeks away, it brought her some relief that you were your usual self. A side to you that she had only seen a handful of times.
It was a beautiful sight for her to see the happiness in your cheeks and the light in your eyes. You felt lighter, the weight that had been sitting on your shoulders had finally been released, Bucky had made sure of that.
The more time you spent with him, the happier you felt. Being in the presence of him made you feel safe, more secure than ever.
A chill swept up your spine as you stepped into the corridor, a fleece lined cloaked sat on your shoulders over your dress. You made your way down to the kitchens, peering your head inside, seeing Wanda sitting at one of the benches enjoying her breakfast.
You slipped into the room, sneaking two muffin pastries from the cabinet and quickly made your way back to the hallway, walking in the direction of the training grounds, looking around for the captain, wanting to give him a little boost of energy for the day.
It was a snowy morning; the skies were painted grey, still recovering from the raging storm that had passed earlier this morning. You had remembered Bucky mentioning the clouds that began to pass through the mountain. Snow would be expected for the next couple of weeks. Though you didn’t mind, it was a beautiful sight to see. As you came up to the training yard, you looked around the nearly empty grounds that were covered in snow searching for the captain, but all you found was his lieutenant and squire. Sam’s eyes moved from the young boy and beckoned you forward with his hand.
“Morning, my lady,” Sam greeted you with a warm smile.
“Good morning,” you reiterated softly, sending a warm smile to the young squire. You glanced around the yard. “Do you know where Bucky is?”
A knowing smile crossed over his face and he nodded. “Went out for a ride with Dahlia. He should be returning any minute.”
You nodded, tightening your hold on the pastry in your hand. Sam noticed the slight tension in your body, and he patted Peter’s shoulder and made his way over to you, standing inches away from you.
“Y’know,” the knight started as you looked over at him. “he is just as infatuated as you are. Probably even more,” You smiled slightly, your shoulders relaxed. “I’ve known the captain for years and I can truthfully say that I have never seen him this happier since your and Her Grace’s arrival. I believe you make him a better person, lady.”
Your brows furrowed; that couldn't possibly be true. You had been told stories of Bucky’s bravery during the war, during his time as captain, defending the kingdom and its people from danger.
How could your presence make him better than he already is?
You opened your mouth to retort, but Sam held up his hand. “Believe me when I say he has not been this happy and chipper in a long while. He may not seem like it with you, but with me he’s the grumpiest person I have ever met.”
You couldn’t stop the smile that took over your features, cheeks burning hot. Who would have thought that someone like you, a noblewoman who had hopped from region to region with no immediate family, had wounded the captain of the knight guard on his knees for you.
“Do I make it that obvious?” you quietly asked, and Sam laughed, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Peter shovel the snow away.
“Kind of,” Sam chuckled. “But he makes it way more obvious.” He winked at you just as the gates opened slightly. The sounds of hooves galloping against the road came closer within earshot. “Besides, I think you two are perfect, I believe you even each other out. And you have really helped him.”
Sam’s words echoed in your mind and you sent him a smile, turning your head to see Bucky and Dahlia ride in just across the yard. Until blue eyes landed on yours, then did he guide the black mare in your direction. The lieutenant stepped back just as Bucky dismounted and made his way over to you with a smile.
“Good morning,” Bucky whispered in a low voice, leaning in to grab your hand and place a soft kiss against your palm.
You could have nearly melted at the sound of his voice.
“Hi,” you breathed out, pushing the wrapped pastry in Bucky’s direction. “I remember you saying that you liked the blueberry muffins Wanda had made a few weeks ago.”
Bucky smiled as he took the two pastries from your grasp, leaning down to smell the sweetness of the muffin. ‘’Thank you, sweetheart,” You smiled and nodded and began to pull away, but he held onto your hand tighter, keeping you anchored to him. “Have you eaten today?”
“No, I have not,” you mumbled, slightly cursing yourself for not grabbing something for yourself. Perhaps you could snack on something with Natasha later whilst going over the guest list for the wedding.
“Have breakfast with me.” Bucky requested, not giving you a chance to answer because he was pulling you by the hand towards the castle. You obliged silently with a smile, holding his hand tightly as he led you to the kitchen, where thankfully there was no one. The lingering smell of the porridge the cooks made hit your nose and your stomach grumbled in response.
Bucky sat you down at the table and squeezed your shoulder before making his way to the stove, reaching for a bowl. You watched him with adoration as he ladled porridge into a bowl and topped it off with the fruits you enjoyed the most and brought it over to you.
The flutter in your stomach as his fingers brushed against yours was hard to ignore, not with the way he effortlessly cared for you. It was a foreign concept to you, some things were going to take a little longer to get used to, but even after everything he had done for you, his actions still surprised you.
“Thank you, Bucky,” you said, reaching out to grasp his hand as he finally settled next to you.
“You don’t have to thank me, sweetheart,” he insisted, but you shook your head.
“No, I need to. I really appreciate you, Bucky. Even when I pushed you away you still put effort into caring for me. It is something I am not used to, but I cherish your thoughtfulness so much.”
If he could, he would have pressed his lips against yours if you were just a couple inches closer. He so desperately wanted to, grasping your body closer to his.
Bucky squeezed your hand affectionately and nodded his head. “There isn’t anything I wouldn't do for you, milady.” He placed your porridge in front of you, along with a glass of juice. “Eat. You’ll need your strength for later today.”
You smiled and took a bite of your breakfast, all while still holding onto his hand tightly.
---
The crackling of the fire filled the small space of the library as you spread out all the guest names, unaware of the surnames written elegantly on the thick cards. Natasha held Steve’s hand as they both walked hand in hand behind you, silently going over the names. Bucky and Sam stood yards away, standing with straight, rigid postures, though Bucky loosened whenever you glanced his way with a smile.
“Is this everyone, lady?” Natasha asked, grasping Steve’s arm tightly, pulling him along.
You hummed, taking a step back from the table where the cards sat. “The Kingdom of Wakanda sends their congratulations to you and their apologies for not making it. Otherwise, here are the two hundred guests who will be attending, though it is mainly your people.”
“I took the liberty of inviting some from all around the lands, though I am not expecting everyone to be in attendance. The harsh storm is projected the week of our glorious day, I doubt some will actually make the trip up here,” Steve said, looking over at Natasha with a smile.
The look of love. A look that had crossed Bucky’s face whenever he gazed at you.
“The less people the better, I would say,” Natasha whispered, though you could hear here even though you buried yourself. “Just you and I, my love.”
“Just you and I, dove.” Steve repeated, leaning in to place a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth.
You felt eyes bore into your form and you moved your eyes from the cards over to the knight standing by the bookshelf, his attention solely on you, the softest smile and the adoration glinting in the ocean of his eyes as he looked at you.
This time, you did not shy away from his gaze.
Instead, you smiled at him and looked back, a silent conversation played between the two of you. His eyes fell from your face down to the dark colored dress that you wore, smiling when he saw the rose pendant hanging from your neck, the memory of him first defending you flashed through his mind.
His azure eyes found yours once again, this time lighter.
You look beautiful. You could hear this gaze tell you, even with no words spoken.
Your hand instinctively found its way to the rose, grasping the charm tightly as you subtly bowed your head at him and looked away after minutes of gazing into the blues of his eyes.
You turned your attention back down to the cards again, glancing over to your dearest friend to see her in Steve’s arms as they admired the snowfall together, relishing in each other’s presence, quietly conversing, though you could not directly hear them, a smile crossed your face as you heard Natasha’s quiet laughter.
Though Bucky’s gaze remained locked onto yours, you continued to look at the attendees for the wedding, wondering who you would get the honor of meeting. You smiled to yourself, seeing the captain still locked on you in your peripheral vision. Turning your head, you looked towards him and playfully rolled your eyes at him, emitting a chuckle from the knight before you turned back to the cards, a smile evident in your features.
The smile was torn from you in an instant, vanished completely and it felt as if all the air from your lungs was stolen as your eyes locked onto the card with the names of the people who haunted your dreams.
King Alexander Pierce.
Your hands began to tremble, even after you formed them into fists.
Prince Brock Rumlow.
Tears burned in the backs of your eyes, threatening to peek out.
Prince Quentin Beck.
Breaths came in too quickly, you felt dizzy and numb.
You wanted to wither away and lock yourself in your room, but you remained still, a lump formed in your throat as you tried to bring yourself out of the memory that was threatening to reel you in, pulling you beneath the surface.
I am not their puppet anymore. I am not their puppet anymore. I am not their puppet anymore. I am not their puppet anymore-
A warm familiar hand touched the small of your back and a soft voice spoke out to you, quietly and hushed, “Y/n? Are you alright?”
The sound of your name falling from his lips pulled you from the dark waters that dared to drown you. You blinked your eyes and turned to him with a look of fear, adoration quickly vanished, and Bucky could see the panic beginning to bubble over.
He quickly caught your hand in his, squeezing tenderly as he ran his thumb over your scars, cautiously glancing back to Steve and Natasha, seeing them both caught in their own little world.
He tightened his hold on your hand, his other hand tightening around your waist. His head dipped down, his lips brushed against the shell of your ear, “You’re okay, you’re not there anymore. You’re safe with me, you’re safe. It’s just you and me sweetheart.”
Your heartbeat began to settle and you found yourself following his breathing, slowly inhaling and exhaling just as he did, until you found your breath again.
Bucky pulled back, placing a hand on your shoulder, urging you to look at him. He was silent, and just as before, his eyes upheld a conversation.
Please don’t shut me out. Not now. Cerulean eyes begged you and you pushed out a smile, albeit small and forced.
“Later, please.” you softly requested, only loud enough for the knight to hear.
Bucky nodded and began to pull away from you, but not before placing a soft kiss against your temple. Your eyes slipped closed, relishing in the feel of his lips against your skin, his hand tightening around yours before both of his touches pulled away simultaneously. He walked back to his post, though kept an eye on you, as you’d expected.
You took a moment to compose yourself, sniffling quietly and patting the skin under your eyelids with your fingers until you looked ahead at Natasha, revealed to see her still in Steve’s arms, oblivious to the world around them.
“Shall I leave you be, Nat?” you called quietly, and the woman turned in her lover’s arms, eyes widened.
“Oh, my dearest,” Natasha squeezed Steve’s arm before untangling herself from him and making her way over to you. “I think I would like to spend the day alone with my fiancé.”
She was smiling brightly and it brought joy to you, knowing that she finally had found her love. You nodded and hooked your pinky around hers before pulling away, leaving her alone with her lover. Bucky’s gaze followed you as you made your way out of the library, though you stopped in front of him.
“Later.” you reminded him.
Bucky nodded and leaned down, placing a kiss against your cheek. Once he pulled away, you silently made your way out of the library, exhaling shakily once the doors shut. The trembling resumed and you brought a hand to your mouth to muffle the sob that threatened to spill out.
You couldn’t escape them, no matter how far you fled.
Anxiety bubbled in the pit of your stomach as you wrapped your hand around the frigid metal railing, looking over towards the snow covered mountains, praying to the gods above that they wouldn’t make it due to the weather.
If not, you feared the things they would do once they found out where you were.
---
You had been staring at the same page for well over ten minutes. A huff of frustration passed through your lips and you stood up, tossing your book on the table as you strode to the window. The sun was beginning to set, casting beautiful shades of purple and pink across the sky. An anxious feeling had been gnawing at you for hours, and no matter what you tried, you could not get rid of it, continuing to nibble on your lip.
You heard the door to the small study that you currently found yourself in open suddenly, automatically knowing it was Bucky.
“Is it later?” His voice was soft. Your throat tightened as you turned to face him, meeting his concerned gaze. He stepped forward, reaching for your hand. “Let’s go for a ride.”
Your brows furrowed as his hand tightened around yours, looking back to the window to see the lowering sun. “The sun is going down. How will you ride in the dark?”
Bucky said nothing and led you out of the study by the hand. You caught his eye but all he gave you was a smile. “Just trust me.”
Trust me.
Of course you trusted him, there wasn’t anyone else in the entire universe who had treated you with this much kindness, this much love. In perspective, Bucky shouldn’t have cared this much, as you were just a woman tending to her employer.
Yet there he was, a comforting shoulder to cry on, a companion to make light conversation as you ventured into town, someone to call a friend.
Perhaps even more.
“I do.” you said as he slipped on a heavy cloak over your shoulders, tightening several knots from your sternum down just below your bust. His eyes met yours, his gaze never leaving you, even as he brought the hood over your head. It was only when he led you to the stables did his eyes leave yours.
The dark fur of Dahlia caught your eye and you couldn’t help the surge of excitement that passed through you. As Bucky went to gather supplies, you made your way towards the mare, holding your hand out, but she did not need to sniff your scent as she immediately brushed her head along your arm.
“Hello, sweet thing,” you whispered softly, scratching along the white patch of fur along her snout. A hand gently touched your shoulder and you looked to the side to see Bucky pack the last few of his supplies.
He wordlessly handed you a bundle of carrots to feed Dahlia and he prepped her saddle. It didn’t take long, once he was finished, he couldn’t help but to stop and watch how the smile you wore reached your eyes, even a little. He noticed you looking back at him and reached out for your hand.
“I thought we could try something a little different this time,” Bucky said, placing his hands on your waist. You could feel him rub his thumb over the fabric of your dress. “You’ll want a good viewing seat.”
Before you could process his words, Bucky lifted and placed you directly onto the saddle, waiting for you to adjust yourself before he hoisted himself behind you. He reached around you, grabbing the reins and looked down at you.
“Ready?”
You nodded and he tugged on the reins, letting Dahlia take off through the open stable doors. You leaned back into Bucky, head falling onto his shoulder, feeling one of his arms snake across your waist to hold you steady.
Shades of pink and purple and orange nearly faded, revealing the dark night sky. You clutched onto Bucky’s arm tightly, seeing the dark forest come into view. But he just held you firmly to his chest and whispered, “look up to the sky.”
Your eyes glanced over to him briefly before turning to the dark sky. Just as Dahlia passed through the first line of trees before a green light casted over the sky, spreading out, feathering across the sky. A gasp passed through your lips, watching in awe as the light shifted through the sky, moving along with the air.
“Not completely dark,” Bucky whispered in your ear as Dahlia galloped further in. Bucky didn’t want to go further than a few miles, knowing the dangers of the cold forest.
“The Northern Lights, right?” Bucky nodded. “It is so… beautiful,” you breathed out. Bucky kept his gaze solely on you, even as he slowed down his horse. Watching the way you were smiling, the light in your eyes he hadn’t seen since this morning, whatever tore the spirit away from you. There were names he himself recognized, but he was cautious about the idea of assuming anything.
“It is,” he murmured, keeping his gaze on you as he pulled on the reins. Green reflected off the snow, giving the forest more light than you had expected.
Moments of comfortable silence passed by before Bucky eventually had to ask.
“I think it is later now.” he whispered against your ear. He could feel you nod against his shoulder, eyes still glued to the sky, so he gave you a few moments to compose yourself. You leaned forward, slipping away from his warmth. His hands ran up and down your torso before he dismounted, keeping close to Dahlia.
“Whatever it is, I am here with you. I am not going to let anything happen to you, Y/n. I promise.” Bucky said, latching onto your hand.
You could have melted right off of Dahlia and into his arms, but you held yourself steady. Your eyes slipped close for a moment and you gripped his hand tightly and took a deep breath.
Trust me.
Your eyes fluttered open, meeting azure eyes.
“I saw their names on one of the cards,” you whispered, eyes gauging the sudden rigidness of his shoulders, though his facial features softened. “They will be here for the wedding.”
Bucky nodded, understanding who ‘they’ were. He could hear it in the shakiness of your voice, the fear that covered your eyes. He stroked the back of your hand as you explained the fears you felt.
He couldn’t stop the rage that swam through his body, the fury he felt knowing there was no way you could avoid them at the wedding. You would be in a constant state of anxiety, of paranoia, of fear. He couldn’t let you become fearful of your own home.
“What are their names?” Bucky asked, voice steadily calm despite the anger and fury he felt.
He had to keep his anger far away from you.
You had been subjected to enough of it in your lifetime. After nearly half a year knowing you, Bucky could get a read on what made you anxious and what made you calm.
You shook your head, hands beginning to tremble.
“Y/n, I need to know who they are. You may not want to, but we need to tell Steve-”
Your hand ripped out of his hand in an instant. “No! No, Ste- His Majesty does not need to know. It does not concern him, therefore he does not need to know. Nor does Natasha. It does not concern them,” you cried out, eyes filling with tears. The sight nearly broke Bucky’s heart.
“Your safety is my number one concern.”
You gaped at him, and the one question you had been holding in finally spouted through. “Why do all of this for me, Bucky? I am merely a servant! I-I am not some princess or queen, just a noblewoman, the queen’s lady! The purpose of my position here is to serve my-”
“Not to me you’re not,” the knight retorted, taking a step back towards the mare and he reached for your waist and pulled you off the saddle and into the warmth of his arms.
“Bucky!” you yelped, clutching onto his forearms.
But the knight did not listen to you, not as he picked you up and effortlessly carried you until the two of you were under the branches of the towering trees, your back pushed gently up against the base of the tree.
His hold wasn’t caging or forceful. More careful and gentle.
“You are so much more than just a lady to me,” Bucky said, exhaling heavily as his eyes bore into yours. “To me, you are everything. Ever since the first moment you stepped into the palace, all I wanted was you. You, woman, have captivated me. You have made me a better knight, a better captain, soldier… a better man.” His shoulders rose and fell, though you did not feel any fear. Not as his hand gently held your cheek. “You have no idea what you do to me, sweetheart. I care about you more than I should, but I don’t care. I protect what I care about. And I will fight a king if it means you are away from harm.”
His heavy breaths fell from parted lips and you couldn’t help as your eyes flickered from his eyes down to his lips. Bucky leaned his forehead against yours.
“You are all I care about. Nothing else matters when I am with you.” he whispered before pressing his lips against yours, melting against you as he felt your lips press into his.
You had been kissed before, but never like this. Never as passionate as this.
Everything Bucky did was gentle. The way he held you, hugged you, kissed you. You would have expected his lips to be chapped and dry from being out in the cold weather, but they were soft against yours and he kissed you, you could not help but smile against his mouth.
You kissed the knight that had shown you nothing but kindness and a delicacy that no man had ever bestowed on you.
Once you pulled away, shoulders heaving, lips swollen and flushed skin, Bucky pressed his forehead against yours, holding you close. You kept your hands firmly on his chest, sighing softly.
“You have no idea how long I have been waiting to do that,” Bucky breathed out and you couldn't help the giggle that passed through your lips.
“I am glad you did,” you whispered against his cheek. Bucky pressed his lips into the skin of your cheek, trailing down to your jaw.
He peppered kisses along your jaw, teasing your neck slightly before placing a kiss against your lips. It was short and sweet, the way he held your face could have made you melt where you stood.
“I need names, Y/n.” Bucky whispered against your lips. He pulled away and pulled you into his chest, arms circling around your waist. You wrapped yourself in his warmth, resting your head against his heartbeat.
You looked up at the lights in the sky again, sighing softly. “Can I tell you tomorrow?”
Bucky pulled you away and pressed his lips against your forehead. “You can tell me tomorrow, honey. But for now, let’s go home.”
Home. It was now in the Northern Lands, you decided. After tonight, there wasn’t anywhere else you would want to be. You wouldn’t trade being in Bucky’s arms on the way home for anything in the world.
The half of a year being in the north was far better than the eight years spent in the East.
There, nobody was like Bucky, who offered to help you off a horse, ease the heavy cloak from your shoulders, and walk you to your chambers.
You hadn’t loved anyone like you loved Bucky.
He led you to the comfort of your bed, helping you out of your shoes and turning away respectively as you changed into the soft fabric of your nightgown. You sat down on your bed, looking at Bucky as he kneeled in front of you.
You leaned down and kissed him, pleading eyes boring into his.
“Can you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?” you asked shyly, swallowing nervously, but his warm hand held your cheek.
“I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”
It took a moment before you were both comfortably laying in bed, Bucky’s arms wrapped around you as your back pressed to his chest. He could feel the rigidness of your muscles, so he ran his hand over your stomach, holding you tighter to his chest.
Issues could be resolved tomorrow.
For tonight, you decided everything was okay, and you felt Bucky’s soft lips against your temple before sleep lured you in.
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getting my shit together to hopefully post the next chapter of a change in duty in a couple of days,,, :)
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Will there be more of A change in duty? Absolutely addicted to it🤍
yeah just have a lot of personal issues going on, i promise it'll be updated soon <3
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female gaze.
like who gave him the right to be so hot in the middle of the battle?
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Everyone who has to work retail today should be allowed to assault one customer for free
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Home With You
summary: You and Bucky celebrate the holidays together.
pairing: bucky barnes x reader
word count: 908
warnings: minor angst, holiday fluff, mentions of reader having a crappy family, soft!bucky
The snowfall was calming and peaceful as you sat on the window still with your legs stretched out, warm socks pulled up over your dark leggings, watching as your eyes trailed the snow as it landed softly on the compound’s lawn. A small sigh passed through your lips.
You hadn’t planned on spending the holidays alone, spending the few days cooped up in your room, reading the few books you had stacked on your dresser. But after your family had flaked on you for the umpteenth time, being alone seemed to be the only thing you craved.
Besides, it was just you in the compound. Nearly everybody had gone on to do their own thing, visiting home to their families for the holidays, save for Bucky, who had been on a reconnaissance mission for the past five weeks, and he wasn’t due home for another week. The one person you longed for, but you didn’t blame him though, you knew it was out of his reach.
With the little ball of white fur sat on your lap, you leaned your head against the cold surface of the window, closing your eyes and wrapping your sweater tighter around you.
It hadn’t been too bad, you were finally able to do chores you had been pushing off. You had busied yourself with cleaning and exercising, anything to keep your mind busy.
The sudden lighting of the warm lights that Bucky had hung up shortly before you left suddenly flickered on, and your eyes fluttered open and you turned your head to see Bucky standing near your shred dresser. Tears sprung into your eyes as he gave you a soft smile, coming to kneel in front of you.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he breathed out. His hands slid from your hands to your shoulders, to your cheeks, his thumbs caressing your skin as he leaned in and placed a tender kiss on your lips.
“You’re home early,” you whispered, leaning your forehead against his.
Bucky chuckled, softly stroking your cheeks. “I really only needed to be there for two weeks,” he huffed, pulling away so he could look you over. “What happened? I thought your family was supposed to visit?”
“They were, but they decided they were just gonna stay home. I guess they didn’t really feel like traveling,” you said. Bucky could sense the sadness laced in your voice. No matter how many times they had canceled on you, it still hurt each time. “It’s just been me and this pretty girl for the past few days.”
Bucky smiled sadly at you and pressed a kiss on your forehead. He was never one for your family, but he maintained neutrality, in your favor. He hated how they made you feel, how one text would shatter your mood, or one phone call would completely change your attitude.
“I’m here now,” he whispered against your hair. “What if I make us some hot chocolate and we can just sit and watch the snowfall? To make up for your family being crappy.”
You smiled at him, taking a moment to gaze at his features. He was the same as the day you both departed, before he went on his mission. The only difference was the faint dark shadows under his eyes. He was always so considerate, always putting himself first before you.
“You must be tired, honey,” you whispered, shaking your head, but Bucky wasn’t going to take no for an answer. “Buck-”
“We are doing it. Just me and you, sweetheart.” he whispered against your lips before giving you a soft kiss.
You could feel the excitement rolling off him as he bounded across the room, tearing his tact pants off, trading them for a hoodie and the dark flannel pajamas you had gotten him a few months ago.
Once he was comfortably dressed, he gently slid the small cat into his palm, placing her on the blanket that sat on the bed and reached for you, easing you from your spot. You wrapped your arms around his neck and his wrapped around your waist, holding you tighter to his chest. It had been well over a month since you had seen him, and he came just in time, making the night a little bit better.
“I missed you,” you whispered against his neck.
“I missed you too, love,” Bucky kissed your shoulder before pulling back and reaching for your hand, threading your fingers through his. His hold never faltered, not as he led you to the kitchen, stirred the milk all while you leaned into his embrace as he peppered kisses along your jaw.
A feeling of warmth filled your stomach as you sat against Bucky’s chest, watching the snow fall. You placed your mug on the tile floor and curled closer to your boyfriend, peering up at him. A smile graced your face when you found him looking down at you.
“I love you.” Bucky whispered, leaning in to softly kiss your lips. “And I’ll always be here for you, sweetheart.”
You leaned further back into his embrace, grateful that you could spend the last few remaining days of the holidays with the man you loved. Your family wasn’t all the best, but you knew you could always count on Bucky to save the day and lighten your mood, no matter what.
His arms wrapped around your waist, hugging you to his chest. “I know. That’s why I love you so much.”
--
happy holidays! ❤️
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes drabble
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A Change In Duty - 6
series summary: In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.
pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader
word count: 3.7k
chapter warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff, pining ensues
series masterlist // nextr chapter
Bucky was content to stay there all night, with you half-asleep on his chest, but when a breeze passed by harshly and you shivered, he came to a conclusion to walk you to your chambers, regardless of his own desires.
He whispered your name softly, soothing you away from the sleep you so desperately needed. Bucky did not wish to tear you away, but the few shivers that racked through your body made him pull away from you, pressing a hand against your cool cheek. You looked at him through tired eyes as he gingerly swept away the hairs that were caught against your cheek.
“I think it might be time for you to get some sleep, sweetheart,” he whispered against your hair.
A shiver nipped through you, despite the fabric of your nightgown covering your arms, it proved to not be enough. But when Bucky’s palm slid over your shoulders, down your biceps to your wrist, his touch brought warmth. His arms wrapped tightly around your waist, assisting as he stood up with you.
Your knees nearly buckled and you fell into his broad chest, fingers clutching at his shirt. His arms tightened around waist, heat rushed to your cheeks. “‘M sorry.”
Your voice was quiet, but Bucky heard you loud and clear. He brushed his hand over your hair and tenderly placed his lips against your forehead as he patiently waited until some feeling retreated back to your legs.
“I got you,” the knight soothed as he ran his hand soothingly down your back. A moment later, you leaned against his side, resting your head against his bicep when he looked at you with patience. “Ready?”
His voice was gentle and sweet, and you would have melted into him had he not tightened his hold once you nodded. You leaned into him as he began to lead you into the warmth of the castle. His touch never faltered, not once, as he led you through the empty corridors, the only light coming from the lamps that were lit every few feet. The only sounds were that of the breeze swifting through the trees.
It was sort of a peaceful night after everything you had told the knight. You hoped that sleep would hopefully come quick and easy tonight.
Bucky glanced down at you, a sad smile playing on his lips as he heard you sniffle against his arm, leaning more in his side. His heart ached for you, for what you had to bear witness to, what you had to endure for all those years.
“You did not deserve any of it, sweetheart,” Bucky whispered against your hair. You peered up at him as he stopped for a moment and grabbed your hand, pressing a kiss to the back of your palm, over raised skin, “and you are just as beautiful with your scars. They mean you survived.”
Tears sprung to your eyes and you quietly whispered ‘thank you’ before leaning your head back against his arm, and Bucky continued down the hall, leading you into the hallway. You tightly grasped his forearm and squeezed gently.
Your chambers suddenly came into view and Bucky grasped the handle of your door, looking to you for permission. You nodded, and with a push, he had the doors opened and closed within a few seconds.
Heat rushed to your cheeks at the sight of your mangled bed, sheets and blankets thrown haphazardly across your mattress, pillows scattered around the room. Books were spilled in the corner, Bucky noticed and a small smile graced his features. Not at the messiness of your environment.
At the fact that you had the heart to sneak books away from the library. It warmed his heart.
Bucky guided you over to the bed, gently grasping your elbows as you sat on the mattress with a quiet grunt. A shiver racked through you just as you let go of Bucky’s hand. You wrapped your arms around yourself, Bucky noticed and he squeezed your elbow longingly before making his way over to the fireplace, flicking a match over the stoned wall and lighting it to the wood. Heat soon enough began to fill the room and for that you were grateful.
“I am sorry,” you whispered, looking up at the knight through tired eyes as he kneeled in front of you, his hands coming to rest on your knees. “for being so hesitant and quiet around you. Even though you have been the most gentle. I…I am just so tired--”
But Bucky gently shushed you, drawing his hand up your thigh soothingly. His eyes held nothing close to irritation or malice, only worry in the blues of his eyes. His touch was gentle against the thin fabric of your pajamas, and it brought butterflies to your stomach everytime he touched you.
“There is no need to apologize, sweetheart,” Bucky whispered, his hands reaching for yours. “You have endured a lot in your life, I do not blame you for being the way you are.” His tone was soft, his deep voice nearly lulled you to sleep.
“You have been so nice to me since I have arrived, a-and I have given you the cold shoulder--”
Bucky pressed his lips to the scar that ran from your thumb to the middle of your wrist, stopping you in your doubts. He looked up at you and rose to his feet, coming to sit next to you. He gently grasped your chin between his fingers.
“You do not owe me anything, Y/n, I treat you the way I do on my own accord. You, Lady, should not even be looking at the rugged captain,” Bucky teased, smiling when the corners of your mouth lifted up slightly. “You do not owe me anything.”
A surge of confidence came over him as he leaned forward and tenderly pressed his lips against your forehead. You leaned into him, shoulders slouching as a wave of drowsiness came over you. Bucky felt your sluggish movements.
“Lay down, honey,” Bucky softly instructed against your skin. His gentle hands pushing you down against the sheets, delicately drawing the sheets up to your shoulders. Your eyelids were heavy as tone, and you felt his hand run over your hair. “You can let go now, sweetling.”
Before your eyes fully closed, you looked at him through tired eyes and whispered, “Thank you, James.”
Bucky smiled as your eyes drifted shut, knowing they would not open to reveal the beautiful shades until the sun rose. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your temple, adjusting the sheets around your shoulders before he rose to his feet. If it were entirely up to him, he would stay all night by your side, to ensure that no memories plagued your slumber. But he himself had a duty to uphold, so he looked over your form one last time before making his way to the door, ready to turn in for the night.
But Bucky was not prepared to come face to face with Natasha at nearly half past midnight.
The knight jumped slightly as he made contact with striking emerald eyes. Her posture was relaxed, both arms resting calmly at her sides, a pitcher of water was held in her grasp.
“Captain Barnes,” There was no accusatory tone when she called his name, though Bucky was at a loss for words.
“Your Grace,” Bucky reiterated, eyeing her suspiciously. “If you may know, I was merely assisting her to bed.”
Natasha took a step forward, green eyes assessing every part of Bucky’s form; his face, his clothes, the small pocket knife that sat on his hip. He looked eminently human for being the Captain of the Knight Guard, dressed in the most informal wear.
“I know,” she replied. “I would never look down upon you and her together, you know. But I will thank you.”
Bucky frowned. “Thank me?”
Natasha nodded, her eyes glancing from your door to the knight. “My lady… she has been through the unimaginable, yet still is up every day before I. But since our arrival, since she has been acquainted with you, I can sense the change in her. Even if it is only a small bit.”
“You do not need to thank me, Your Grace,” Bucky said in a low voice, sending one last glance at your door. “Her company makes my days more manageable.”
Natasha nodded at him and continued to make her way down the hall, though she casted back a glance towards the knight, whose fingers ran along the wood of your door longingly.
“James.” She called his name one last time. “If anything does happen, just now that you have my blessing. I surely hope something does arise.”
Bucky smiled and bowed towards his future Queen. “As do I, Your Grace.”
---
For the first time in months, you had a restful night’s sleep. You woke up to the slight warmth that radiated on your face.
Blinking your eyes open, you wiped the sleep from your eyes as you glanced between the open window and fluttering curtains to the woman standing at the entrance of your closet, her red hair braided down her back.
“Nat?” you sleepily called, rubbing the back of your hand across your eyes as you pushed yourself on your elbows. “W-what are you doing here?”
Natasha turned around, giving you a small smile before making her way over to your bedside, sitting on the edge. She placed a hand on your shoulder and tenderly squeezed , giving you a soft smile.
“I am merely worried about my dearest friend is all,” she softly spoke, running her hands over your hair, tucking a few strands behind your ear. She sighed, watched as you sat up against the pillows. “Is there something on your mind?”
Her hands reached for yours, pulling them into her lap as her thumbs caressed the backs of your palms, you could feel the question radiating from her, on the tip of her tongue as her lips parted.
“You are curious about my hands,” you said softly, catching her eyes flickering between your crumpled sheets and your hands. You sighed softly, tightening your hold on her. “I should have told you a long time ago, but I was not sure if I was ready. I do not know if I am even ready today, but I do not want to live a life of misery.”
And so, as you told her about everything.
The sweet Queen, the vile King, the harrowing Princes. The nights you were locked in your chambers with no food, no water, no heat. The way you were subjected to years of loneliness, years of violence tainted your skin with scars, bruises that started in dark ugly colors slowly transforming to lighter colors until it completely vanished, only to have another one appear a day later.
You told her, gauging her reaction as she watched you with saddened eyes, a frown playing on her lips. Oh, how everything was now so different from your former life was from this. You did not have anyone who thought of you more than just a Lady before Natasha. She was the one, always pitching in to have you tag along when she and Steve went out, or even if she wished to stay in the gardens in silence, she would want you by her side.
Natasha was everything you had ever wished for in a companion. She always listened, cared for you when you needed it. It had taken a long while to even get used to it. You were still getting used to it today, even when her wedding was just a few months away.
Tears sat in her waterline and you squeezed her hand gently. She met your eye and you gave her a smile, though it was not bright, it still reached your eyes. Natasha blinked the tears away and pulled you into her embrace, arms wrapping around your shoulders.
“Oh, my sweetest darling,” Natasha gasped into your shoulder, but you wrapped your arms around her waist and sighed.
“I am alright now, Nat,” you reassured her, pulling back to wipe the single tear that raced down your cheek. “I am trying to be better.”
Natasha nodded and squeezed your shoulder gently before pulling away. “I know, lady,” She stood up from the bed, pouring water from the pitcher that sat on your nightstand into a mug and offered it to you. “I want you to rest up for a few days, please. I shall need my lady by my side when we go over the guest list in just a couple months.”
The despair in her voice made your stomach fill with guilt. You had not truly realized how poorly you had been treating yourself until you broke down in Bucky’s arms, just hours prior. Rest and sleep was something you needed desperately. So, you nodded and fell back into the pillows while Natasha brought your pile of books closer.
“I will come check on you later, yes?” Natasha affirmed, pecking your cheek before making her exit. You nodded from your pile of pillows that you were snug comfortably within the blankets.
You could feel yourself drifting back to sleep once Natasha made her way out, softly closing the door shut. This time, only dreams of baby blue eyes invaded your mind.
---
Orange leaves were scattered about the garden, Bucky noticed on his way to the stable. An autumn breeze passed through when he opened the stable doors, passing through the stalls until he came upon his dark mare.
“Morning Dahlia,” he muttered low, gliding his hand along the mare’s spine, easing her a bit before placing his saddle over, tightening the leather straps under her ribcage. Adjusting the leather stirrups. “How about a ride through the forest?”
Quiet knocking tore him from adjusting the saddle as he turned around, coming to face with you. Hair neatly brushed and styled naturally and a dark cloak sat over the dress that fit you perfectly in all the right places is the beautiful sight he was met with.
“Good morning, my lady,” Bucky said, smiling as you made your way over to him. He reached out and grasped your hand. “I am glad to see you are feeling better.”
“I am, James,” you whispered, smiling to suppress the gasp as he tenderly kissed your hand. “I just wanted to say thank you for the other night. I… I appreciate you greatly.”
Bucky smiled, nodding as he let go of your hand, returning to his task beforehand. From the corner of his eye, he saw you walk around the mare. A cautious hand held out, but Dahlia pushed her head instantly.
An idea floated about in his mind when he watched you adjusting the reins.
“If you are free today… I was just going into town for a small sweet treat and for a ride in the forest, you are welcome to join me, only if you would like.” Bucky said, hoping he would have a companion for his day.
You looked up at him, a genuine smile coming across your lips and you nodded. “I would love to.”
“Really?” Bucky confirmed, and when you nodded, he pumped his fist in the air, emitting a small, quiet giggle from you. Gods, if he could hear that sound for the rest of his life, he would die a happy man.
You continued to watch him quietly, only stepping forward when he beckoned you. You had only ever ridden on horseback a couple of times, you did not know what to expect. It made your stomach flutter with anticipation.
“Tell me beautiful lady, what is your favorite sweet delight here in the North?” Bucky asked, packing a few supplies before taking off. He grabbed the reins and led the mare out of the stall, towards the garden, and you followed in suit.
You stood in front of the knight, watching as he placed his hands upon your waist, nodding at you all whilst counting down from three under his breath. On one, he histed you in the air, a surprised yelp fell from your lips as he placed you on the back of the saddle.
“I am afraid I have not tried any sweets here,” you replied to his question. “Perhaps you can advise me on which option is the best.”
Bucky placed his foot in the stirrup and hoisted himself onto the staddle in front of you. You were unsure where to put your hands, Bucky glanced at you from over his shoulder, meeting your gaze. Your fingers gripped his tunic tightly as Dahlia took a few steps. Wordlessly, Bucky gingerly grasped both your wrists with his hands and wrapped them around his waist. You blew out a tense breath before Dahlia started to gallop out of the palace, through the gate and into the forest of trees.
Saffron and crimson colored leaves colored and decorated the trees as you gripped onto Bucky tighther, resting your head against his shoulder. In the distance, you could see deers running along, doe’s with their fawns and the bucks looking over them. Rabbits burrowed into logs and birds flew high above the trees, some coming down to fly alongside Dahlia.
It was such a refresher having the ability to go around the kingdom and its grounds. To see the beauty that the land had to offer. And it was all so beautifully breathtaking.
You wondered how it would look in the winter, how much snow would be filled everywhere, how low the temperature would get. And as if he could read your mind Bucky spoke.
“During the winter months, the sight of the woods with snow is beautiful, though not that beautiful to be caught in.”
“Cold?” you asked him and he chuckled and nodded.
“I know these forests like the back of my hand,” he spoke over his shoulder. “I urge you to stay away, if you are not accompanied by me or my knights. It can be truly dangerous if you get lost.”
You nodded against his shoulder, marveling at the sights around you once again. Town began to come into view and anticipation fluttered as Bucky directed Dahlia towards the edge of the shops and businesses, pulling the mare off to the side.
Bucky dismounted as reached for your waist, waiting until your hands were on his shoulders to hoist you off. His hold was gentle and tender as he placed you on the soft grass, offering his arm to you, which you gladly took.
He led you into a small bakery, and the sweet smell of pastries and sugar invaded your senses and you tightened your hold on his arm, wondering about all the sweets that sat on display, freshly baked. You held onto the knight as the two of you made your way to the front.
“Captain Barnes, a pleasure to see you again,” The woman from behind the counter said kindly, eyes drifting from the captain to you. “Lady Y/n, a pleasure to see you as well.”
You had been acquainted with May Parker, young Peter’s aunt who visited the palace every other week with fresh pastries for the knights. You smiled and nodded at her as Bucky gave her a few coins.
“A blackberry and strawberry puff pastry, please.” Bucky said, turning to you. “I have a feeling you will enjoy both.”
“What about yours?” you inquired as the woman wrapped the pastries in parchment and before you knew it, you and Bucky were on the way back to Dahlia.
“Are you not accustomed to sharing, milady?” Bucky chuckled, leaning against his mare and began to unwrap the pastries.
A heat rushed to your cheeks, but quickly retreated as Bucky winked at you, offering the pastry to your lips. You leaned forward and bit off a piece of the dessert. It was flaky, buttery, soft and tangy and you looked up at Bucky with a grin.
“Oh my lords, that is delicious,” you muttered, taking another bite when Bucky offered. He had not even taken a bite himself. He would have you geet both of them first before he even got a taste. “Will you please save some for yourself, James?”
Bucky shook his head, offering you a cheeky smile. “I will be fine, sweetheart.”
A bit of crusted strawberry filling sat at the corner of your lips and without thinking, Bucky took a step forward, cleaning off the small mess of strawberry with the pad of his thumb. His fingers were calloused and rough against the softness of your skin as he held your chin in his grasp. You wondered if he was going to pull away, despite not wanting him to, but he kept his hold on you, the baby blues of his eyes flickering from your gaze to your slightly chapped lips.
Your heartbeat nearly skipped as he leant forward, his nose lightly brushing against yours. You wanted to push forward, you almost did push yourself, but the sounds of leaves crunching underneath small feet tore you away from the knight.
Rushing forward, a little girl with braided pigtails came running and crashed into Bucky’s legs, giggles emitting from her small body. Bucky gave you an apologetic look before leaning down to pick the young girl up.
“Hi, Captain,” the little girl gasped out, gripping onto his shoulders.
“Young Cassie, what are you up to today, little one?” Bucky sighed as he turned to you. “Have you met Lady Y/n yet?”
You nodded, smiling brightly at the young girl who gave you the goofiest grin imaginable. “Yes, she has. I had the honor of meeting her and her brave father a few weeks ago.”
The little girl giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a quick hug before launching herself out of his arms and running back towards her mother, who gave both you and Bucky a wave.
“How did you like it?” Bucky asked a moment later, and you looked up at him with a smile. You leaned into his embrace and sighed.
“It was delicious. Thank you,” you said quietly, looking around. “And thank you for the ride and treats. I am enjoying this greatly, Ja-” you paused, meeting his eye as he looked at you with his full attention. “Thank you, Bucky.”
The captain smiled and leaned forward, placing a kiss on the corner of your mouth, hoisting you back on the saddle,smiling at your yelp mixed with a giggle. “You are welcome, sweetheart.”
---
tags - @emmabarnes @impala1967666 @yourlocalwriterangie @raging-panda @the-chocoholic-writer @ladyoakenshield157 @sebsgirl71479 @vampiresarezombies
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#knight!bucky
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A Change In Duty - 5
series summary: In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.
pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader
word count: 3.2k
chapter warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, nightmares, descriptions of abuse and scars, protective!bucky, our lady's past is revealed
series masterlist // next chapter
The sound of a sword clashing against his shield tore Bucky out of his reverie, ocean blue eyes darting over to Steve’s figure ahead of him. The weapon in his hand slackened for a moment and Steve pulled back for a moment.
“What is wrong with you? Are you ill?” the King asked, brows furrowing in on the knight.
Bucky released a tense breath and rolled out his shoulders. He looked over the training yard, seeing Sam start to go over different fighting positions with Peter. The captain had not had a chance to fully train his young apprentice, and as second in command, Sam took the opportunity.
“No” Bucky bit out. “Nothing is the matter. I am fine.”
Steve snorted, stabbing the blade of his swords into the grassy grounds. He had known Bucky nearly his entire life, from childhood all the way to adulthood, he could tell when his old friend was lying. And this was one of those moments.
“I can tell you are lying, Buck,” The knight rolled his eyes in response. “Did something happen with Y/n?”
At the sound of your name, Bucky’s shoulders tensed and he looked away, shaking his head slightly. He ran a hand through his messy hair, taking his sword and sheathing it back onto his belt. He had done enough training, and for the first time in a while, Bucky had felt completely drained.
“Nothing is wrong,” Bucky again, meeting Steve’s concerned look. “Natasha has not said anything to you about her, has she?”
There was hopefulness in his voice, but it was quickly dismissed as Steve shook his head. “All I know is that she has not been around as often. But Nat did mention she has been having insomnia issues, so if anything, she is catching up on her rest.” Steve replied. “Nat has said she has not been sleeping through the night. If you are worried, I would suggest checking in on her.”
The look on Bucky’s face screamed that of guilt, wanting to wither away with the storm that was approaching. He never meant to overwhelm or make you uncomfortable in the slightest. And for a moment, his thoughts began to spiral, about if it was him who had made you upset, if he had caused your insomnia.
Though it was not his fault, Bucky could not help but feel as if it was. He was the last person besides Natasha that had seen you, and that worried him. From the moment you had arrived to the kingdom, you had made it your personal goal to visit a new part of the palace everyday, with Bucky as your guide of course. But you had not emerged from your chambers, only to tend to Natasha. But even then, your presence was scarce, Steve noticed. He had not seen you as much as he used to before.
“I may have frightened her, if I am being honest.” Bucky finally spoke, gaining Steve’s full attention. He nodded his head, urging Bucky to continue on. “A few days ago, I found her in the stables and she met Dahlia. Damn mare likes her more than me now and I had told her that Dahlia was quietly taken with her as I was, and she ran off. I have not seen her since.”
Steve could see the genuine disappointment, the raw guilt that spread across Bucky’s face and he leaned forward and tightly grasped his shoulder, urging him to look him in the eye. Though he had only known you for a short while, he could see the look of admiration in your eyes whenever you gazed at Bucky, whether next to him or across the room away from each other. Steve had a feeling deep down that you reciprocated the same feelings for Bucky as he did you, but a part of you was hesitant.
“I do not think you are the reason, Buck. I think she is just… transitioning from a very formal life to this,” Steve reassured him, a somber look loomed over his features. “I have suspicions that she has not lived a well life, and she was maybe just engulfed by everything.”
Bucky had the same suspicions as well. The jumpiness whenever he had caught you off guard, how you apologized for the minor inconveniences, how swollen your lips would be from your constant chewing.
There was a reason you acted the way you did, and although Bucky waited until you came to him, it killed him everytime he had to ease you from a near panic attack.
“Someone as beautiful and pure as her should not have anything to keep her up at night,” Bucky murmured, staring at the ground.
Steve sighed and nodded, agreeing with the notion, but his mind flashed to the scars that were on the backs of your palms. “The world is not always in favor of the kindest souls.”
That alone made Bucky’s shoulders slacken. “I know.”
“Like I said, check up on her. She may be searching for comfort.”
Bucky watched as Steve walked off over to Sam. His mind wandered to you, anxious to know if you truly were okay
He did not think he could rest until he found out.
---
“Are you alright, lady?”
You stirred, shaking your head slightly, barely registering Natasha’s gentle voice. You turned to see the concerned look upon her face, and you offered her a smile in response. Natasha could tell it was strained.
“I have not been sleeping well is all. The exhaustion is just getting to me, I suppose.” you replied, eyes casting down to the table that sat covered with wedding invitations.
You began to reach for one more, ready to press the stamp against the hot wax, sealing the invitation, but Natasha pulled it just out of your reach, green eyes searching yours.
“You look exhausted, lady,” Natasha whispered urgently, her brows furrowing with concern. But stubbornness got the best of you and you brushed it off. “I am dismissing you for the day, Y/n.”
Your eyes flickered up to hers and you bit your lip. She reached out and grasped your hand and squeezed lightly, pulling your attention away from the paper on the table to her, “Please get some proper rest. As your friend, I am deeply concerned that you may be unwell if this continues.”
You sighed and nodded. “Just please get some rest, honey. You look as if you are going to pass out.”
She shooed you away playfully, drawing a smile out of you, albeit tired. Excusing yourself, you made your way out of the room and wrapped your arms around yourself, walking across the outdoor corridor that overlooked the training grounds, catching a glimpse of the captain and the king, sparring with each other.
But you noticed how distracted Bucky had seemed, taking all the hits Steve poured him with, barely defending himself. Guilt ate away at your stomach, wondering if you were the cause of it.
Perhaps it was you who rendered the captain unable to focus. You had avoided him for several days and each passing day ate away at your stomach. You never meant to push him away, but you felt all too real memories start to enclose around your vision that you just could not take it.
You reluctantly pulled away from the sight of Bucky and continued to make your way back to your chambers. Pushing the door open, you had fire going in only a few minutes, and immediately melted into your bed, sighing to yourself.
Although sleep came to you quickly, you were not accounting for the hellish nightmares that would soon plague your mind.
---
The palace was quiet as Bucky made his rounds, surveying the castle grounds before he turned in for the night.
It was normally this quiet, save for the light breeze that passed through the trees. And Bucky found a sense of peace whenever he did his rounds. He always did, relishing in the peaceful quiet that devoured the garden.
Except for tonight.
Along with the gentle breeze, he heard the faint sound of sniffling. His steps quickened in their pace upon hearing the sound, his boots dragging across the pebbled walkway through the gardens until he came upon a bench surrounded by trees and bushes.
He was not expecting to see you, red strained eyes and tears stained cheeks with your hands folded in your lap so formally.
Bucky was conflicted whether to leave you be or comfort you, but the moment a muffled whimper passed through your lips, he found himself unable to control his movements as he made a beeline towards you, stopping a few feet away from the bench.
“Y/n?” Bucky called carefully, brows coming to furrow in concern. He had seen you get flustered and anxious, but he had never once seen you cry.
And the sight made his heart clench painfully.
Your head snapped up at his soft voice and instinctively, scrubbed your cheeks with the back of your hand. Blurred, teary eyes looked up at Bucky and you sniffled once, clearing your throat and resting your hands in your lap. You looked at him with guilt as he took a step closer to you.
“Hi,” you whispered tearfully, offering him half a smile. He tested the waters and slid onto the bench beside you, releasing a tense breath when you welcomed his presence.
“Hi,” Bucky replied back, offering a small smile. He carefully held his hand out and sighed in relief once you slid your fingers along his palm and Bucky grasped your fingers gently. “I am sorry about the other day in the stables. I should not have pushed you or-”
You shook your head and sniffled, rubbing the back of your hand across your cheeks once more, hoping to rid the tears away. “You do not need to apologize. I… I am sorry, James. I am just not my usual self.”
He could see the evidence; the darkening circles under your eyes, how you only appeared when Natasha did, how you avoided everything and everyone.
“Are you alright?” Bucky asked, and for a moment you were hesitant to answer.
The lack of sleep was finally starting to get to you, you concluded. Sleep evaded you every night, from the constant play of memories. But like an angry wave during a treacherous storm, it had all crashed on you. Nearly every night you were tormented with memories that kept you awake for hours.
Memories that had begun to affect your life, your relationship with Bucky. You had not meant to run away from him in the stables, but the former rules that you had to precisely follow still stuck to you. You had not meant to avoid him, opting to stay in your chambers when you were away from Natasha. It was a reflex.
“I am,” you replied to him. “Just cannot sleep is all.”
Bucky’s thumb ran across your knuckles, tenderly caressing the tip of one of the many scars. You shivered slightly.
“What keeps you up at night, milady?”
His voice was soft and gentle and delicate. He had shown you nothing but kindness since you arrived. He had offered you a tour of the palace, shown you the beautiful library, accompanied you into town and introduced you to everyone he knew. The captain had shown you a tenderness you had not experienced in a long while, he deserved to know why you were the way you were.
“I… am kept up by memories,” you confessed quietly, glancing up at Bucky, slowly gauging his reaction. But you were only met with tender blue eyes that urged you on.
It is okay to let your guard down.
“You can tell me anything, sweetheart. It’s okay,” he soothed and your stomach fluttered at the sweet name he had called you. “Please let me help you. I can tell you uneasily and I just want to make you feel safe and stable.”
Taking a deep breath, you nodded and gently pulled your hand out of Bucky’s hold, wringing your hands in your lap. Where do you even start?
“Before I was acquainted with Natasha, I was an assistant to this kind, older queen. She was very reserved, humble and sweet. I really did love working for her,” you began, your eyes shadowing a sort of sadness. Bucky nodded, urging you to continue. “It was a long time ago, but I feel like I still remember everything.”
Tears blurred your vision and you sniffled, releasing a tense breath. “The queen… she was the only kindness I had known in the East. Though she was older than me, I still felt like I could come to her with anything. And for a few years I did, until her son and nephew moved back after the war, once they were comfortably situated in the castle again is when it began. The queen only needed me to dress and accompany her to visit her lady friends, but when I was dismissed for the day, her son… he would-”
A tear slipped down your cheek and before you were able to harshly wipe it away, Bucky beat you to it, tenderly swiping his thumb across your cheek.
“They were so cruel and vile to me, but I could not deny whatever request they had for me. I was strictly the queen’s assistant, but they sought to get me to do whatever they wanted. And when I refused,” You swallowed thickly, glaring at the scars that covered the back of your hands. “punishment followed in my footsteps. They would tell the king, and he would have no mercy on me.”
Bucky took your hand in his and delicately ran his thumb over the raised skin. You bit your lip to suppress the sob that etched its way up your throat, but still you continued on.
“When I put the queen to bed for the night, he would have me attend to him and If I put up the slightest hint of an attitude, he would-” You held in the shuddering breath, focusing on Bucky’s warming touch. “he would sometimes hit me, other times he would lock me in my chambers with no food or warmth, but the majority of the time he would grasp my wrist tightly and slide his knife along my arms and hands. The worst of it came from their son and nephew. She told me I was free to do anything, to see anybody I wished, but the king… he was a cruel tyrant that held no respect for me. He corrected my behavior with physical violence.”
Realization hit Bucky hard. He now understood why you had been so hesitant to start a relationship, why you were so tense and quiet around him.
You were never allowed to converse with anyone without being punished for it.
“But she never knew. I attended to her every morning, hiding wounds and scars from her for eight years. How could I ever tell her that her husband and her family were monsters to me? I would have been sent to the dungeons for it.”
“Y/n…” Bucky started, but you did not hear him as more tears cascaded down your cheeks.
“But the princes, they were the most cruel to me. If I did something wrong it was a backhand to the cheek, or no food for the night. No fire during the colder months. They treated me awfully, demanding I do a certain thing and if I refused… they would -- c-choke me until my vision danced with black spots, I-I had no way out for all those y-years.”
Heavy sobs passed through your lips and Bucky snaked his arm around your back, pulling you against his chest, his other hand coming to cradle the back of your head, softly stroking your hair as you cried and sobbed against his neck.
It broke his heart to hear your cries, a small inkling feeling he had told him this was the first moment you had ever told anyone what had happened.
His gut clenched painfully as you explained with a tearful voice the mistreatment you had to endure for nearly a decade, the notion that you had to pretend like nothing was wrong. He could not even begin to imagine the pain you went through, the feeling of loneliness, not having anyone. But above all, it made his blood boil at the physical violence you were subjected to.
The shy, quiet Queen’s Lady that upheld the duties she had to her royals.
You gripped his tunic tightly, pressing your face further into his warmth, and his hand made work, rubbing soothing circles along your back. He whispered sweet assurances quietly in your ear, “It’s okay. You’re safe now, sweetling. I will not let anyone hurt you.”
His lips pressed to the top of your hair, resting his head against yours until your cries quieted down into small sniffles, but you did not pull away from him. Though the voice in your head urged you to pull away, you remained still in his arms. You were drawn to him, as he was almost a sense of security to you.
“I am sorry for pushing you away,” you spoke after a while. “I trust you greatly, James. I should have told you sooner,” you began, but Bucky shook his head and pulled back to gently slide his hands up your neck, coming to hold your face gently. You melted into his touch instantly. “I am sorry for being so nervous around you. I know you would never hurt me it’s just--”
His thumbs swept delicately over your damp cheeks, ridding the dried tears away. “I know, sweetling. But you never have to apologize for anything. I understand this is not an easy thing to talk about, but I promise, if you ever need me, I will be at your side in an instant.”
You smiled, albeit a small one, but still a smile nonetheless, and leaned more into Bucky’s hands, stomach fluttering as his thumb caressed your skin. You had not realized how touch deprived you truly were, melting into his hold. You liked the feeling of being in his embrace, having his arms wrapped around your body protectively, the soothing feeling of his hand rubbing gentle circles over your back.
Bucky pulled you back into his embrace, wrapping his arms around your shoulders, and he smiled into your hair. He felt your body finally slacken, the tension rolling off your body in waves the longer he held you. He was content to stay here for hours, but he had a feeling that you were exhausted.
But you made no move away from him, pressing your cheek against his chest, nose pressing against his throat. A breeze passed through the garden, rustling above in the trees and traveled down to the benches, sifting through your embrace with Bucky. You shivered in his embrace slightly and you felt him hold you tighter. When his lips pressed against your temple, your breath hitched and if it were entirely possible, you pressed yourself tighter to him. You wanted nothing more than to hide in his warmth for the rest of your night. You clutched at his tunic, not daring, not wanting to let go.
Your breathing began to even out and though it was late, nearing midnight, Bucky knew he should have walked you to your chambers by now. But given the emotions that poured out of you as you confessed your horrible past, you did not have the desire to move.
But Bucky did not either, and for now, he was content to stay on the bench with you wrapped in his arms.
---
tags - @emmabarnes @impala1967666 @yourlocalwriterangie @raging-panda @the-chocoholic-writer @ladyoakenshield157 @sebsgirl71479 @vampiresarezombies
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky x reader#bucky x female reader#knight!bucky
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HEARTBREAKING: Poor girl has to get out of the soft warm bed even though she is so so so so comfy
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he'll soon find out 👀
A Change In Duty - 4
series summary: In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.
pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader
word count: 3.0k
chapter warnings: fluff, angst, pining pining, mentions/references to abusive past
series masterlist // next chapter
a/n - apologies for the short chapter, been sick with a cold past few weeks
You sat in a chair, watching as the seamstress firmly tightened the laces of Natasha’s corset, stifling a smile as she grimaced at the firm feeling. Wedding preparations had begun and you could tell it was taking its toll on your dear friend.
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captain barnes is truly the man
A Change In Duty - 3
series summary: In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.
pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader
word count: 4.1k
chapter warnings: protective!bucky begins, minor angst, fluff, tiniest bit of violence, references to abusive past
series masterlist // next chapter
“What about this, lady?” Natasha admired a strand of fabric at one of the booths in the village, turning to you, though a smirk played on her lips as she saw your attention solely gazed on the brunette knight that stood guard a few feet away. “So much for nothing more, huh?”
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the pining has officially begun ☺️
A Change In Duty - 2
series summary: In the Northern Lands is where you meet Natasha’s fiance, King Steven and right hand man Captain James Barnes, who takes an affinity to you quickly, though you are hesitant to trust him. But when a familiar darkness begins to loom over the kingdom, you won’t hesitate to uphold the duty to your royals to protect them. And Captain Barnes will do anything to ensure the safety of the Queen’s Lady.
pairing: knight!bucky x lady!reader
word count: 4.7k
chapter warnings: fluff, minor self deprecating thoughts, minor angst, mentions of war, a small peak into our lady’s past
series masterlist // next chapter
The intricate designs of the bed frame kept you from falling asleep, though you were glad. With Natasha sleeping soundly next to you, it gave you a moment to yourself, relishing in the new environment around you.
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