Exhausted. Berry, I was gon’ use my shampoo in the shower, but the moment I picked it up, I realized it smelt exactly like you. So, I put some of your and your potato sack’s hair-shaving cream in there. I hope you enjoy your smooth scalp. And hopefully, this teaches you and anyone else the consequences of touching anything of mine.

How has everyone been?

Yeah, but MC Schue doesn’t expect us to have something to do everyday, and that speech was for people who live everyday thinking it’s their last. Ion live like that, B. Sure, maybe at funerals it goes in through one ear and out the next. But, if that’s your motto, get yo’ ass to the city right now. 

Well, if it makes you feel any better, you don’t have to stress about the “crazy” of New York like you said while I’m there. One of the main reasons I’m there is to help us both stop stressing so much and live life to the fullest. Like Mr. S said in that circle with peanut butter.

if you werent a cheerio, what sport would you have gone out for?

Honestly, if I wasn’t a Cheerio at one point or another, I would’ve dropped dead or transferred schools. I spent some of my junior year off the Cheerios, and even thought some pivotal things happened in my life, most of that time was just plain old depressing. 

theyaskfiercepierce:

Sure about that,S? ‘Cause when I get there I’m sure we’ll be too busy hugging each other or never leaving each others’ sides, if ‘ya know what I mean. I’m going to go ahead and take your offer not only because you’re my best friend but cause I miss you a lot and I’ve been wanting to see you.

I’ve been wanting to see you a lots more. While your life is all fun and mathematical, mine is hella stressful. I swear, NYC may be one of the craziest cities, but I’ve seen real crazy, so I’m not amused, and I’m sure so all of the people who can’t escape the city. Pretty sure once you get here, we’ll have the whole city either up on their feet or down on their knees. 

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I'm glad my return struck your fancy and I'm also glad to be able to return to someone I actually have a reason to like. So, I've heard you're carrying Ryder's litter? 'Cos, if that's the case, my psychic Mexican third eye was wrong for once, and Q was able to resist the temptation of letting herself get impregnated by Puckerman once more.

Finally, someone to admire on this website! It’ll be a nice change of pace for once.

Oh my gosh, aren't you excited about being two decades old. But, fine, if you insist, I won't call you foolish names referring to you as a small child, because you are now a grown child. I've heard Mucker is quite the nickname in Ireland, is that right? 

I’m nearly 20 Santana, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t call me that. 

Hold up, you and Spice are procreating?

We’re gonna have our little girl in July.

I know, I was so caught up in my modeling gig. Anyway, how've you been? Been to Chicago lately? 

Santana, long time no hear from.

Well, well, if it isn't Pixie Boy himself. Didn't know you left your land to come back to a place — that only flight attendants and foreign people call, America.

Grand seeing you here Santana.

Nice seeing you too. How's it going between you and my little moneymaker? 

Glad to see you back Santana.

Well, we can finally bring the pity party to and end, 'cause your prayers have been answered. 

He claims it's broken, but I sense a liar lingering between the smell of over-cooked food. I'd try, but then, I'll be making more girls have low self-esteems just by the look at me. Then, they'll act as if they hate me, but in reality, they either wanna grind on me or if they're heteros — be me.

Oh, didnt know that. Could it be broken? Well, no or you’ll go all Lima Heights. Have you tried modeling? Besides this one.

The Victoria Secret wannabe store where you could build your own bra if you're that desperate. Oh honey, it'll start of as that, but I'm gon' get into singing, dancing, and acting, I'll most likely be a quadruple threat. I'll have all the irrelevant people wishing they kissed up to my ass better.

That’s pretty awesome! What store is it? I’ll definitely be sure to come and check it out. This is going to hopefully be the good start of a modelling career for you, ‘cause I can definitely see you having a career as one.

The crown of all wisdom holds it's place on my head, not up my ass, Twink.

Peasant? How far up your ass this crown shoved, Lopez?

We will be goddesses through their eyes. Unless Q and her religious doctrine gets a say in it. I think you can come like whenever, seriously, there's always space for you here.

Totally,I imagine everyone bowing down to us. And the machines don’t talk to me and the professors said they did. Maybe they’re just shy,or don’t really talk. When would sound like a good time to come to New York?

Didn't they? If you and Q rushed your asses to NY, we could have a page full of the Unholy T, wearing bras and panties that matched up to the Powerpuff Girls. But who knows where homegirl ran off to, and you're tied down to a bunch of machines.

Is it you? Because if so the photographers picked the right girl for the job.