‘ you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you. ’

grave suggestion; sentence meme.  //  @akumeis

    whether these words are a ruse to fracture his defences or this fool is simply too ignorantly kind for his own good, asahi cares not. his heart  swells  with an all empowering apathy. an ironic contradiction, but not unfamiliar.  ( who does this preacher think he is ?  a rhetorical question perhaps, so he doesn’t ask. )  dark eyes fixate upon the ground for only a moment, jaded with something mildly disconcerting. he lifts his head,  &  offers a nonchalant shrug. brushing aside unsavoury thoughts, asahi sets his gaze back upon the elezen.

    “ that’s hardly relevant to the matter at hand, is it ? ”  kindness has nothing to do with it, he argues. it’s naught more than inevitability. the corner of his lips upturn, with almost peculiar ease. so long as he fulfils  his duty,  all else is irrelevant. nimble fingers brush against the hilt of the blade at his side; subconscious, more than it is a warning. “ ‘tis a cruel world. wouldn’t you agree, lord commander ?  men don’t ever change. we can but adapt. ”  

Tsukuyomi’s Phase 1 theme, Nightbloom.

‘ your hatred has a body count & we will not forget. ’

grave suggestion; sentence meme.  //  @mqte

    “ is that so, warrior of light ? ”  and perhaps it is true, or perhaps impassivity is to blame for aforementioned body count. all the same… he can’t help but find the proclamation quite amusing. really, he thinks, it is quite unfortunate. asahi smirks; an unspoken, deliberate gesture,  &  allows his gaze to meet that of the miqo’te.  truly  unfortunate, indeed. “ and what of the countless living creatures slain by the hand of yours truly ? ”  

    beyond his silly act of kind pretenses, asahi makes no attempt to feign pity.  “ those you could not save ? ”  it makes something churn in his gut. ( something  spiteful  and bitter and mournful, almost. something that he cannot understand,  &  does not wish to.  )  he sputters, and barely keeps from breaking out into eerie laughter.  “ it’s the same thing, is it not ?  bodies are naught but flesh and bone. we  both  have quite alarming numbers, don’t we ? ”

i love my loyal servant - *looks at smudged writing on hand* ashton!!!

    … my lord. i am honoured that you would remember the name of such a lowly creature as myself. i, ashton sas brutus, ambassador of the garlean empire.   @garuvusu

hey

    what the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch ?  i’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the imperial army, and i’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on ala mhigo, and I have  over 3  confirmed kills. i am trained in gorilla warfare and i’m the top negotiator in the entire imperial army. you are nothing to me but just another lord zenos wannabe. i will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this miserable planet, mark my fucking words. you think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet ?  think again, fucker. as we speak I am contacting my secret network of imperials across the east and your ip is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, savage. the storm that wipes out  the pathetic  little thing you call your life. you’re fucking dead, you gaudy cosplayer. i can be anywhere, anytime, and i can kill you in over seven ways, and that’s probably just with my bare hands. not only am I passably trained in unarmed combat, but I have the power of lord zenos and anime on my side. if only you could have known what unholy retribution your little  ‘ clever ’  comment was about to bring down upon you,  maybe  you would have held your fucking tongue. but you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you fool. i will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. you’re fucking dead, kupo.  @imperialmight

—for only by hating can you purge away love, only by sword, by fire.

Daphné du Maurier, “A Borderline Case”, in Don’t Look Now and Other Stories (via antigonick)

twink bitch

    say that off anon you coward

( i haven't met asahi in - game yet but you're making me wanna stop being lazy && do it. :|||| thank you for existing !! )

    trust me you don’t want to meet him

this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion.  i’ve divided it up into two categories  ( light  &  dark )  based on the themes.  some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions.  please be cautious before continuing on!!

L I G H T

‘  at night i dream of you.  ’ ‘  don’t give up yet.  you still have time to fix things.  ’ ‘  falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack.  ’ ‘  i am still so weak when it comes to you.  ’ ‘  i can’t believe i let myself let you down.  ’ ‘  i don’t care where we go when we die,  as long as i’m with you.  ’ ‘  i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late.  ’ ‘  i feel so warm  &  safe when you talk to me.  maybe i could love you if you’d let me.  ’ ‘  i finally let the right people in  &  i have never felt so loved.  ’ ‘  i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone.  ’ ‘  i lived in your permafrost for twenty years  &  then you looked at me  &  i felt the warmth of spring.  ’ ‘  i once wished you’d leave me alone,  but i take it back.  ’ ‘  i want to be able to love someone else,  but you stretch your arms  &  spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else.  ’ ‘  i want to believe that we got it right this time.  ’ ‘  i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely.  ’ ‘  i would travel across the world to be by your side,  because as long as you are with me,  anywhere is a perfect place to me.  ’ ‘  it took me awhile to realize it myself,  but you are not what other people say you are.  ’ ‘  it’s not that i really need you,  but life would be pretty boring without you around.  there’s no one i would rather be with.  ’ ‘  i’d like to stay like this for awhile.  ’ ‘  life  &  death don’t have to be so boring,  let’s make both an adventure.  ’ ‘  life imitates art,  they say.  i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke.  ’ ‘  live your life so that when you die,  souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales.  ’ ‘  make your exes jealous  &  your past self proud.  ’ ‘  maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on.  ’ ‘  never get caught falling harder.  they’ll never let you back up.  ’ ‘  please don’t go.  ’ ‘  some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it  &  succumb.  ’ ‘  sometimes,  you’ll find it hard to keep going,  but you always will.  ’ ‘  the desire i feel for you is that same itching,  insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction.  ’ ‘  the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad.  ’ ‘  there is absolutely nothing  &  no one who can stop me.  ’ ‘  there is no route of losing you that is without pain.  ’ ‘  there’s still room for adventure  &  there is no one i’d rather have by my side.  ’ ‘  things didn’t turn out the way i planned,  but i’m alright with that.  ’ ‘  we could be really incredible together,  you know?  ’ ‘  you are beautiful  &  vibrant  &  confident.  you are light  &  laughter incarnate  &  every fiber of your being screams freedom  &  joy.  when i am with you,  i am truly happy.  ’ ‘  you are starlight incarnate,  from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think.  blessed are any to be loved by you.  ’ ‘  you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you.  ’ ‘  you call me yours  &  i have no idea what that even means to you.  ’ ‘  you remind me of bubblegum  &  sweets;  soft  &  pink  &  warm.  you are strong in the gentlest way.  you are so stubbornly kind.  i wish i could be like that.  ’ ‘  you still visit me while i sleep sometimes.  your fingers trace my spine  &  i listen to you breathe.  please stop haunting me.  ’ ‘  ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you.  ’

D A R K

‘  a thousand empty bottles  &  fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day.  ’ ‘  everyone else has moved on,  but i am still here.  ’ ‘  everything about you screams danger.  ’ ‘  everything is worthless to you  &  you,  in turn,  became worthless.  ’ ‘  for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress.  ’ ‘  freedom is really hard to get used to.  ’ ‘  how could you do this to me?  how fucking could you?  ’ ‘  i am becoming everything we always dreamed of  &  i am leaving you behind.  ’ ‘  i buried you so well that you might as well have died.  ’ ‘  i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead  &  not the monster you became.  ’ ‘  i can’t look at you.  not now,  not ever.  ’ ‘  i don’t ask how you’ve been.  what’s the point?  you’d lie anyways.  ’ ‘  i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest.  ’ ‘  i haunted this house first.  there is no room for you here.  ’ ‘  i have a right to be upset.  i loved them too, you know.  ’ ‘  i just want it to end.  i want it to all go away.  i want to go away.  ’ ‘  i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing,  but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous.  ’ ‘  i saw your face today  &  didn’t feel anything.  i am free.  ’ ‘  i tried to save you,  but you didn’t want to be saved.  you just wanted someone to suffer with you.  ’ ‘  it’s almost as if you were never here.  ’ ‘  it’s unhealthy to do these things,  you tell me.  you say it’s time to stop smoking,  time to stop gambling,  &  dammit,  i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you.  i sure hope you’re right,  darling.  ’ ‘  i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind  ’ ‘  i’m not really scared to die.  i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone.  ’ ‘  i’m not the person you left behind anymore.  there’s no one here to miss.  ’ ‘  i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive.  ’ ‘  i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals  &  ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you.  ’ ‘  i’ve never been completely satisfied.  i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death.  ’ ‘  no motive other than pleasure,  my dear.  ’ ‘  one day i’ll go or you will.  either way,  it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself.  ’ ‘  our dreams  &  promises decay along with you.  ’ ‘  the leaves change,  but nothing else does.  ’ ‘  the only difference between avoiding  &  leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you.  ’ ‘  there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you.  ’ ‘  there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage.  ’ ‘  things aren’t going as i hoped.  maybe if i die,  i can start over again?  better luck next time.  ’ ‘  this is not something to be proud of.  this is a tragedy.  ’ ‘  trying to get rid of me?  oh honey,  you’ll have to try much harder than that.  ’ ‘  trying to get under my skin?  you’re nothing more than a pesky itch.  ’ ‘  unlike you,  i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger.  ’ ‘  weeping is for gods  &  martyrs,  we cannot afford such luxuries.  ’ ‘  would you even miss me?  ’ ‘  you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart.  ’ ‘  you complain nonstop about being unloved  &  alone,  i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true.  ’ ‘  you don’t know what it’s like.  ’ ‘  you made this so fucking easy for me.  ’ ‘  you should see me as a threat.  i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you.  i am a walking threat.  ’ ‘  you think i’m already gone,  but i’m still fighting.  ’ ‘  you think i’m dead,  but i’m just dying.  ’ ‘  you were never an addiction,  you were a fucking disease.  ’ ‘  you wouldn’t dare cross me.  i am god  &  you are the soil beneath my feet.  ’ ‘  your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity.  ’ ‘  your fingers are so cold  &  bruised,  but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference.  ’ ‘  your hair is tied in a noose  &  your fingernails are razor blades,  your lips are poison  &  i will gratefully kiss them.  ’ ‘  your hatred has a body count  &  we will not forget.  ’ ‘  your loss,  not mine.  ’ ‘  you’re a sick fuck.  you know that?  ’ ‘  you’re not gentle with me  &  i would never ask you to be.  ’ ‘  you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore,  it’s a pit.   ’

twink bitch

    one thing i’d like to make clear about this blog is that i will never actively try to justify asahi’s actions, nor motives. that said, i’m not going to actively hate on his character  &  boil it all down to  ‘ he’s a terrible person !! ’  because i struggle to do that with any of my muses. asahi is  terrible  without a doubt, but i can’t help but wonder why. he’s definitely got a few screws loose... but i feel it was a mesh of nature  and  nurture, to some degree. we saw how shitty his parents were, and even if they victimised yotsuyu by far, i can’t imagine they were very good parents to begin with. i’ve yet to think in depth on his past  &  upbringing, but...

    ‘ ever since the day you saw fit to save my miserable life ’  ——  i think it’s safe to say that as arrogant as asahi is, he has little to no self worth whatsoever. he was presumably raised without kindness  &  was too cowardly to stand up for any wrongdoings he witnessed.  this does not make him a good person.  rather, it helps to explain how he became the way that he is;  how we saw him. falling into the habit of turning a blind eye and putting all duty above emotion made him quite a fitting imperial, and i imagine a good candidate for ambassador. 

    that said, he’s more blinded by his heart than he himself recognises. as much as he tries to hide behind the certainty  that he  has the power to sever the ties between doma and garlemald before the WoL, it becomes evident in the scene following tsukuyomi that he truly... isn’t in control of his actions. not really. asahi can only fixate on his one obsession  &  that alone, which is  ( unfortunately )  to be of use to the person  who he respects  above all others. he craves power so that he can further achieve his goals, and becomes envious and desperate when anything or anyone comes between him and, well... his goals.

    i’m not sure if i’d call him selectively sociopathic, but he certainly can’t seem to sympathise with most anyone, no matter their struggle. he may have been capable once upon a time, but any positive feelings he harbours for anyone beyond that are complicated  &  more likely than not twisted by something darker.  a relevant note:  i do hc him as greyromantic, bordering on aromantic. what he believes to be love will never be healthy, and if anyone was to express anything of a sort to him there’s a good chance it would be met with  disgust,  or just... nothing at all. anybody would be insane to love him anyway, honestly

                                            “  THE POWER HE BESTOWED UPON HER.                                              —— asahi, ffxiv. personal blogs do not reblog.

dispel, despise, and let all conquer

its patch day and im wracking my brain trying to mentally prepare for whatever horrible thing he’s going to do tomorrow 

whomst the fuc-

   yOUr BIG GesT fAN