In The Rain

I can feel rage  twitches and muscle tensing  down my legs  up my arms

I can feel sadness  tense and prickly skin  on my neck  under my eyelids

I can feel anxiety  tight and sickly  around my chest  inside my stomach

But I can see hope  glitter of optimism  all over your skin  across your sweet smile

And I can feel love  warm and comforting  within your embrace  And from your brilliant eyes

Open Heart Surgery

You know I’m failing You know I’m falling My hands are twisted My mouth is shut

Those times you walk by me Holding my hand Guiding me from being lost Those times I cherish

Come on and hold me Why don’t you scribe Look at me with those eyes With the beauty I can’t describe

Come on and touch me Why do I play with Those feelings and fire I’m out of my wit

Come on and kiss me No more questions I’m certain and that’s that Full of heart and passion

Growing Pains

Time All I have is you Apart My heart aches regularly

Helps Your independence & your strength Our Knowledges to be acknowledged

Love Let’s drop any pretence To grow I can take more pain

I'm sorry that I doubted you I was so unfair You were in a car crash And you lost your hair You said that you would be late About an hour or two I said that's alright I'm waiting here Just waiting to hear from you Don't pass me by, don't make me cry, don't make me blue Cause you know darling I love only you You'll never know it hurt me so How I hate to see you go Don't pass me by, don't make me cry

The Beatles, Don’t Pass Me By

Jump

I have jumped before. I have touched the water. I have been bitten too. Once or twice. Maybe more. There are lots of them in the water. This one time when I jumped, I tripped. I ripped my chest open and pricked my heart. They nibbled at me in the water. I survived. Just. That jump instilled a deep fear inside me. Fear of jumping. Of the thing that is so natural in our tribe. We jump for the water. We jump for the sea. We jump for joy. 

We jump for love. 

We jump.

And yet I have fears. Fears that are so deep inside me, I sometime forget that they are there. They stir. They whirl. They create clouds. They feast on me.

One day, I will have to purge them. One day, I will know how. One day, I will jump again. One day, I will be free.

My Heart

I’m about to break. Along with my old excuses. Anxiety and certainty. Two paradoxes. My ruses.

You could see through me. Beyond my rambling words. And my weak Pandora’s Box. You could see my small worth.

Paradoxes. Ruses. Anxiety and certainty. My guilty feelings. Can you read between the lines?

I love you, and I’ve always loved you. I’m on your altar, just like the start. I’m yours, ever since that time you walked into Mrs Fitzherbert’s. Keep or sacrifice me. But please, leave the heart.

Vortex

As I lie awake, eyes wide open. Watching silence steal my sleep. I remember the key to the gate. Which keeps the enemies at bay.

The trembling of silence tastes metallic. It pounds my heart. It locks my jaw. What a sorry state I’m in.

“The key!” I scream at silence. “The key,” echoes silence. As it drowns my fear and sorrow. The gate is wide open.

Complete silence and darkness. My heart still beats, though. My mouth moves and utters, “My hope and my love.”

A Window to My Soul

​I inch closer to happiness each day. Drinking my dreams. Smoking my hopes. Dreaming of you.

Please stay awake as I inch closer. When I close my eyes, My dreams, hopes and you Are not safe from myself.

I inch closer, even when I feel your rage. I inch closer, tiptoes and closed hands. I inch closer, hoping you'll understand. I inch closer, dreaming of you.

Hometown Hero

He lights his cigarette. And says, "man these things will kill me someday" Raises his glass and says, "here's to hoping"

Helplessness

I was raised up believing I was somehow unique Like a snowflake distinct among snowflakes, unique in each way you can see And now after some thinking, I'd say I'd rather be A functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me

If I had an orchard, I’d work till I’m sore.

Don't you want to preserve old things? But you can't, Anthony. Beautiful things grow to a certain height and then they fail and fade off, breathing out memories as they decay.

The Beautiful and Damned - F. Scott Fitzgerald

Wild Forest Flowers

The winter demanded so much. My trusted veil and my smile. My vital organs and my pulse. My sense of rhythm and my blues.

Then the season’s changed. When you came unarranged. You saw my heart, black and blue. And I saw the universe in your eyes.

So I laid myself down on your altar. Bared my chest for all to see. I will keep my mouth shut, I promise. You know I can’t trust my words.

But, please trust my intentions. I will recklessly gamble my time with you. For love. For peace. For dreams. For a view through your windows. And for you.

“Thank you for teaching us how big our world is by sharing so many of your own.” - XKCD #1498

An Ode to Be Sung

I am watching The colour of her laugh. It smells like a victory. And tastes like the new forest. When it sinks in the mud, I will stop watching. And I will start to listen To the sounds of her laughter.

Winter

An ugly look on such a beautiful face. An evil intention from such a brilliant mind. Paradoxes and fine white lines. The light still shines upon you. While I run for my knitted sweater. Shivering at the sight of your remains.

Chakra

I lay gently on my bed of nails. Right next to your bed of roses. Trust me, It was the sweetest kill, Masquerading under the bitterest prose.

I still sleep well at night. Despite being awake most of the time. Persistently zoning in and out. Deliberating my own fragile existence.

I also still long for your smell, And your intricate and paradoxical patterns. The ones you guard and hide so well. The ones we discussed over coffee & cigarettes.

So New

Hey, I want it. I really want it. You are so beautiful. You look like a good time.

This feeling is so new. But my sentiment is the same. Warm lips and soft touches. A cold brush and a cynical smile.

Hey, I am not sure. I am really unsure. You are so beautiful. Yet I came unstuck.

Can I stay here for a while? Watching how my heart unwind. Can I sit here and relax? Let's watch how my pain rewind.

Now I know that I will never forget you.