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Amanda Jane interviews Miah Marlow and Miss Moonstar

Miah Marlow introduces her Tumblr blog with a list that immediately reveals her to be multi-talented. “Gender-fluid, Digital Artist, Writer, Musician, Professional Organizer, Philosopher, Activist, Model, Humorist.“ Her partner, in every respect, he calls Miss Moonstar. It is my pleasant task to interview this special and interesting couple whom many people know from social media.

Amanda

Our past has much to do with our present so let’s begin by delving into the past, before you met. Despite the wondrous childhood images our culture likes to promote, many do not have an enviable start in life to carry forward into adulthood. My first question to both of you is:-

”What circumstances, experiences and events of your early years do you feel greatly influenced the person that you are now?“

Miah

My Mother left when I was 3 years old. Two years later my Father remarried a woman who, with his assistance, tormented and abused my young life for the next 13 years. My early years are marked by insecurity, fear, shame, and pain. We were incredibly sheltered, and I had very little contact with my extended family for many years. One of my deepest memories is that of missing my Grandparents, whom I knew loved me very much. Sometimes, I even dreamt I was at their house, and when I awoke to find it not true, I would cry uncontrollably at the reality until I puked.

The most influential memory of my life happened the night my Dad drove me to the store at the end of the road. I was 7 years old. He pulled the car over and said “You’ll always be special to me, but from now on SHE has to be first. If not she’ll leave us. You will call her Mom.” It was the day my Dad lost his spine, and I lost my Dad. I hate to start so negatively, but this is the truth. When I was old enough for them to leave me home alone, around 11 or 12, I began to create the earliest incarnations of what would become my gender fluidity. There is no question that being ruled by a strong, evil woman, and a weak spineless man, led me to be confused about where to find role models. So, I went deep into my own mind and made my own special place, and accompanying version of myself, galaxies apart from the me I showed the world. It would be a lifetime before I would reconcile the two.

Miss Moonstar

Growing up as the youngest and the only girl in a home with all males and no mother or female role model was confusing and difficult but, it was also a lesson in strength and intelligence. I was already “different” than all of the other little girls around, with my dark complexion and my “strange” features. Add in being raised in a home full of only males and no mother, and that was a recipe for the perfect weirdo. I had a great father, who back then, was the wisest and most resilient person. He taught me to find solace and knowledge in the the earth, the water, the sun, the moon, and the nonhuman creatures. And books. So those were my friends, my teachers, and my counsellors for most of my young life. Making human friends as a young person proved to be almost impossible because in a small, conservative, 99.99% white, Christian town where ANY outsider is unwelcome; the mothers of the little girls don’t trust a strange darker girl who does not have a “good god fearing mother to tame the savage out of her” (I actually heard things like that growing up), not to mention I literally had B cups at age 9, and that is a heavy accelerant for ignorant, insecure, small town women …..So I think as I matured into a young adult, these things helped mold me into being as disarming as possible because I just wanted women to see me, to like me, to understand that I’m one of them. These things probably played a role in me being insecure with my body image for most of my adult life, as well. The same experiences also taught me to be stoic, to never stop educating myself, to embrace my intelligence, to understand my power, and to never wield them for wicked reasons. To remember that no living creature is more valuable than another. And to recognize the internal beauty in the rare and unique people that the earth puts in my life.

Amanda

Both sad and at the same time beautiful answers. I think it has taken a long time for the social sciences to recognize the significant impact of our childhood years on what we become as adults, especially the first four years of our “formative years” (birth to 8yrs).

Miah, “At what age did you realize that you were different from those around you, and begin to question where you fitted in the narrow binary gender view of the time.”

Miah

I mentioned that I began dressing feminine in secret around age 11. Up until 16, I was certain I was unique in this behaviour, and I certainly thought I was doing something wrong. I had no idea there were others like me, until finally, one day my mind was opened to a whole different world. Remember, this was 1991. There were no smart phones and being “online” was not quite universal. So, as a 16 year old wanting, no, needing porn, I had to turn to the medium of the time, magazines. Club Magazine to be exact, because it had penetration pics. I only had one copy stashed away in a secret spot, and since many of its pages were stuck together, I often found myself gooning to the back pages, where the 1-900 numbers were advertised, along with ads for other interesting publications and VHS tapes. This is where I saw what my immature mind could only describe as a chick…with a dick! She was tall, and skinny, with tiny, if there-at-all boobs, long brown hair, and a boyish yet beautiful face, advertising something called “Shemale BDSM”. I immediately fell into the fantasy of wondering about her, imagining how she came to be, and ultimately, being her. From that day forward, I never stopped imagining myself as a feminine thing, destined to someday flourish as I wanted. This was the moment I realized that boys could be girls, and maybe I was one of them.

Amanda

Miss Moonstar, a slightly different question to you. “Growing up in a male environment and shunned as ‘different’ by the mothers of girls with whom you could have been friends, did you ever question your gender or did you always firmly feel that you were female?”

Miss Moonstar

For a long time, I didn’t understand that the reason that I was “different” was because of my ethnicity and my over developed young body. I thought that it was because I was some form of weird boy. It’s a strange explanation but, I was in a home with only boys, I did all the same things that boys did, I played with boys, I wore my brothers’ “hand me down” boys clothes, I liked the same things as boys liked so therefore, I must be a boy. The day that I truly started to understand that I might not be exactly the same as my brothers and father was when, my dad walked by the bathroom and I was in there going pee, with the door open; my dad asked me what I was doing and I told him I was peeing. He asked me why I was standing up, over the toilet. I just always assumed that was how you went pee. That was how my brothers and my father did it, so why wouldn’t I? My dad took me for a long walk that day, explaining to me the physical biological differences between boys and girls, as well as many other things. After that day, I kind of started to rediscover my body, feeling and knowing that I had something different than all of the boys and in my mind, that made me special. I was still very young and had much more to learn and understand about my sex and gender but, the pivotal events of that day subsequently began my journey to embrace my “femaleness” and my femininity. I still have many “masculine” personality traits but, I know that I was absolutely meant to be a woman and, even though womanhood can have it’s negative and sometimes scary moments, I would not trade it for anything.

Amanda

A question for you both. “What kind of life were you leading just before you met? How did you meet? What attracted you to the other? Was the start of your relationship one of slow growth or was it quite sudden?”

Miah

I was beginning a new life when I met Miss Moonstar. Two years prior, I got divorced. I had lived with my then wife and her two children for 6 years. When I look back on it, I think it was my last ditch attempt at having a “normal” life and shutting out the girl inside who had caused me so much trouble. I struggled with the sexless relationship, but found personal growth in the raising of two boys. I never wanted kids of my own, but I got to teach them decency, and logic, and compassion, and I got to coach baseball. Sadly, I secretly found my feminine time through it all, until I could go no further. When I lost a job, she kicked me out. We tried to remain friends for the sake of the kids, and I finally told her my secret.

I had been doing some serious soul searching the past year since being kicked out. I was getting tired of hiding and lying, so I made the decision to come out in my city. My relationships were suffering, especially the one I had with my Grandpa, as he never could never quite understand me, because I was never honest. I had to set myself free. So, I told him, and my boss, and my few friends, and my ex step kids, and began my transition from secret crossdresser to gender-fluid girl. It was a whirlwind of a time, all culminating in an epic night out at a local bar, where I would make my hometown debut. I had some new friends who would accompany me, and one of them was a young lady who you have come to know as Miss Moonstar.

I could write for a year straight and still not address the scope of Miss Moonstar’s arrival in my life. I was literally done with relationships. I planned to be a bachelor forever, taking lovers and being a sex Goddess until I died, when my friend Dawn introduced us. What I remember from that moment is often a blur, but I do remember a very specific feeling that overtook my body as she and I spoke. Nostalgia. Even though we had never met before, I knew this person. She was one of my kind. In fact, the last time I felt this way upon meeting a woman was my college days when girls and guys weren’t all that different, just young humans with big dreams. One of us would say something and our eyes would meet and we would laugh in our minds together. On day one! My attraction was instant. My knowledge of her felt reliable and certain. Yes, she was beautiful, yes, she was sexy, yes, she was charming, but it was her softness and intelligence that ultimately won my heart, as no one had ever used such a gentle hand with me, or a thoughtful approach, ever. Still, to this day, her soft love and understanding is unrivalled in my life, and one of the main reasons I’ll try to keep her around forever.

I think we were dying to jump into an intensely heated affair, however, do to my gender fluidity and her metered approach, we took our time and tried to go slow. Soon enough, however, we were inseparable and have been ever since.

Miss Moonstar

About 2 years prior to meeting Miah=Jer, I had suffered a miscarriage at around 21 weeks. I cannot accurately articulate the feeling of that loss. To lose someone that I had loved so much but, that I would never be able to meet, was one of the most profound tragedies of my existence. While I was unconscious, the nurses contacted my romantic long term partner/father of my child, as standard procedure but also, so that I would not be alone when I came out of the anesthesia. When I awoke, the nurses gently informed me that my partner would not be coming. Since I could no longer be a vessel for his child, I was no longer a viable partner. I was a failure in every definition of the word. I spent the next almost 2 years grieving, searching for answers in every pocket of the world, and rebuilding myself. I had come to the conclusion that I deserved to love myself and that the only people who deserved to be in my life, were the people who encouraged and supported me loving myself. I also had decided that I was not going to have relationship partners ever again. Male and female lovers but, no relationships. Before I would embark on being the world’s greatest womanizer and seductress though, I was introduced to Miah=Jer, through my friend Dawn. This person was physically the most beautiful human that I had ever seen, on both ends of the masculine/feminine spectrum and everything in between. However, when I sat down and started to talk to this person, I felt like I was finally home. I had always wondered what the feeling of “coming home” was. I never felt like I had ever been “home”. Not with my family, not in the place that I grew up, not in any state or city that I had lived in, not around any humans. But this person, this strange feeling that was both foreign and more familiar than anything I had ever felt, this was exactly where I was supposed to be. We started our conversation that night and for the next almost four years, haven’t stopped. The attraction was cerebral for me. Of course he has endless physically attractive traits but, I love Miah’s intellect the most. I love that Miah is much more intelligent than me, I love that there is no topic that is off limits, I love his constant quest for knowledge, her never ending thirst for learning. And his patient, gentle approach to all of my crazy idiosyncrasies. I also have a dark, twisted, sick sense of humour and Miah is the only person that I’ve ever met that can go toe-to-toe with me on that. Because we both were in a place in our lives where we refused to keep hiding our true selves and, couldn’t continue to pretend that we weren’t total freak shows, we both needed to build a safe space for each other, so as much as the feeling of “home” was sudden, we slowly nurtured and grew our relationship. As ridiculous and cliche as it may sound, Miah=Jer is my soul’s recognition of it’s counterpart. Miah=Jer is the love of my life and I will love him for as long as she allows me to, but I will start with forever.

Amanda

What wonderful answers both of you have given. So powerful, so touching. What an irony that two people, both sworn to lead single lives, should meet and almost immediately know they had just met their soulmate. It is a rare and special story, well worth telling. So many yearn to meet the “right” partner and have not. Let’s hope such readers will be encouraged by your stories.

Now that we are up to the present, it is time for a standard question for you both. “What age are you now, where do you live and what do you do to make a living.”

Miah

I’m from Ithaca, NY, I’m 46, and I have a unique arrangement from which I obtain resources. I’ve been demonized by some family members for this lifestyle, but I wanted to be honest with you all. Coming out as genderfluid hurt my career path a bit. If you think poorly of me after reading this, well, fuck off.

I care for and work for my Grandpa. I manage his life and his business. He’s 89, and he requires assistance in almost every area of his life. Some of that is personal care and daily needs like food, various appointments, his finances, and his medical needs. But, it also entails acting as property manager for his apartment building, and rental agent when an apartment becomes available or a tenant has needs. I also maintain the property physically and do the building maintenance. I do this because I’d be dead without my Grandpa, and he was abandoned by his immediate family when his wife, my Grandma, died. He saved me numerous times in this life, and it is only right I repay his love with love in return. Both Miss Moonstar and I have promised him that we will be here until the very end so that is what we will do. This work I do amounts to anywhere from a demanding part time job to a full time job depending on the week, but we have our own house on the same property, food and necessities, and some of the rent I generate becomes mine. I supplement this by working for another elderly person in town in a similar assistant capacity. This is how I get by. I definitely did not expect to be doing this at 46, but loyalty has its price, and its rewards. It’s no secret Miss Moonstar and I will inherit this place when the saddest day of my life comes, and it will help us take care of each other moving forward. I hope some of you will still be here for me then. I probably won’t know what to do with my grief.

My career is not over though. Many people do not create their legacy until the second half of their life. I fully intend to pursue my dreams as long as I’m alive. I’ll probably find my way back to a non profit agency where I can use my law degree for some good, and I definitely plan to add ‘published author” to the list of things I’ve done. Heck, I could still get a record deal. Crazier shit has happened.

Miss Moonstar

I’m 39 years old. I now live in Ithaca, New York. For a good chunk of years I was a pastry chef, before and after I graduated culinary school. I earned my associate degree in social sciences with the intention of pursuing my B.Soc.Sc in sociology but, the culinary dream had already sunk its teeth in me. After graduating culinary school in New Orleans, I stayed there and continued my career as a pastry chef. I spent some time doing that in various other cities and states until I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. At that juncture, I knew that I needed to make some serious life changes so, I did. I attained my B.Soc.Sc in sociology, and entered the world of social work. I finally found where I belonged when, a nonprofit that I connected with on a deeply personal level contacted me, offering me a position as a victim advocate for survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence. It has been one of the most humbling, heart wrenching, and necessary experiences that I have ever had.

Amanda

What a talented and qualified couple you are. I cannot see why, Miah, anyone should think less of you. To put your own life on hold to assist your Grandfather shows that you are a person with moral and ethical values. Yes, there are advantages for you too, but for my own part, I applaud you for what you are doing. Miss Moonstar, from indirect experience I know something of the emotional strength and determination that it takes to be a counsellor to people experiencing heart wrenching situations. I know too how difficult it can be to find a balance of compassion and professional distance that does not burn you out of this invaluable but difficult counselling practice. I also know that arthritis is no fun at all and that you often have to deal with pain. You both deserve medals.

Miah, I know you have written about this several times on your blog, but for this interview “Please clarify what “gender-fluid” means to you and why you feel that the various terms crossdresser, trans, sissy etc do not correctly describe who you are?”

Miah

As the years have passed, my definition of my gender has changed yet I still use the same word, gender-fluid. I suppose this is simply because it’s the most accessible word available, even though many people still don’t know what it is. I’m gender-fluid in the literal sense, meaning my gender is fluid. While many people find themselves leaning feminine or masculine or in between, I am all over the spectrum depending on my mood or desire. Often times, this manifests as either the “girl” or “guy” me, which is sickeningly binary to me, but it is what it is. At least I can move on the spectrum as I wish. I think of gender as different from biological sex or sexuality. I still view myself as male, and my sexuality really has no bearing on my gender, or vice versa.

The other words you mentioned either aren’t strong enough to define me, or undermine me entirely. For example, the word crossdresser is a weak action descriptor. It merely says that one crossdresses, similar to how biker indicates one rides bikes. The word sissy adds a sexual element that is not always present in my regular behaviour, and also indicates that I might be submissive, embarrassed by what I am, or negatively influenced by the internet. None of these are true. Finally, transgender can never be the word for me because I do not claim womanhood. I think that is the essence of being trans, that one is the alternate sex from their birth body. I am simply not a woman, and one hundred percent biologically male. I claim femininity as a skillset and part of my gender, hence my reliance on the term gender-fluid.

Amanda

Personally, I appreciate the nuance of the term gender-fluid as you describe it. The words gender and sexuality are not synonyms. I generally refer to myself as a cross dresser but I agree that all that term really implies is that I cross dress.

Miss Moonstar, many women would balk at living with and loving a partner who presents as a male one day and as a female the next. “Can you describe how you feel about this and, by doing so, help other women to appreciate the possibility of doing likewise?”

Miss Moonstar

First and foremost, I love Miah=Jer’s gender fluidity and all of the different characteristics that it entails. Regardless of what end of the gender spectrum she presents as, he has the same heart, the same mind, the same emotions, the same voice, the same body, everyday. This was never something that I “needed to wrap my head around” or do any deep soul searching about when I Miah=Jer. Yes, I first met him when she was en femme but, the very next day we met for coffee and she was en masc. The familiar cerebral conversation, the relaxed nature, and the attraction did not change with the gender accoutrements.

Being with a man who knows that he is a man who, also knows that he has many genders is the most liberating and refreshing feeling that I have ever experienced. I’ve always been a pansexual woman, constantly seeking out something that everyone I knew told me did not exist. But it did exist, it DOES exist. Having a male partner who not only loves femininity and all of the different tangible and intangible layers but, who understands it, enjoys it, and LIVES it, is something that I will never take for granted.

I know that some people want me to say that during the beginning of our relationship, I was worried about; whether Miah would be “masculine” and “manly” enough for me, what people would think of me when they saw us together in public, if my friends/colleagues/family would approve of our relationship, how our sex would work, what do I say to people who question me about Jer and/or our relationship. The truth is this, in the same order that I listed the “thoughts”: I did not consider her manliness or masculinity. His gender is fluid, her masculinity is always there, just as his femininity is. As far as his manliness goes, he is a man, he identifies as a man and when he needs or wants that manliness to be at the forefront, it is and, I don’t get to decide either of those. No one has the right to decide his gender except Miah=Jer. I fell in love with her BECAUSE of her gender fluidity, NOT IN SPITE of her gender fluidity. I have never cared what people think when they see us together in public. If someone that I care about doesn’t approve of our relationship, that’s their problem, not mine. If you can’t be seen in public with us, then you don’t need to be seen by me, at all. I don’t have time for that shit. If someone genuinely inquires about Jer or our relationship then of course, I explain what gender-fluid means, who Jer truly is inside, who I am, the beautiful love that we have, and why I’m the luckiest person in the world. And as far as our sex, I think everyone wonders what the sex will be like when they first enter in a relationship, regardless of the dynamic. I wasn’t worried about Jer not desiring me, not because I’m arrogant, it was just pretty obvious that he desired me and my body as much as I desired him and his body. I don’t need to go too in depth but, for the first time in my life, I feel sexually liberated with Jer. There is no judgment, no pressure, no weird expectations. We agreed from the beginning that sex is meant to be a joyful experience and, we encourage each other to free ourselves of our sexual insecurities. And he’s a real hellcat in the sack 😉.

In light of all this that I said, the key to success to my relationship with Miah=Jer has been honesty from the very beginning. Honest with each other about who we are and what we want and, honest with our own selves. To the women who are considering entering into a relationship with a gender nonconforming male, I can try to offer some gentle advice; don’t judge the person’s sexuality based on their gender, they are two different things. Don’t secretly try to devise some kind of plan to convince the person to mollify or allay their femininity. That’s just shitty. Think about it, you would be asking a person to tear out a piece of the fabric of who they are. If I asked Miah=Jer to diminish his femininity, it would be the same as him asking me to whitewash the half of me that is indigenous. You can’t simply “accept” that part of them as if it is some negative trait that you can “deal with” but, as long as they keep it to themselves. You embrace and you love the whole person or you stop wasting both of your time and you move on. It may sound harsh but, it’s just the way it has to be. That person is sharing a part of themselves with you that they have had to hide and feel societal shame about for longer than you can begin to fathom. Just like you, they want to be loved completely, they want to be seen, and they want to shed the layers of secrets and stigmatization and degradation that our society has forced them into. Gender is such an innocent thing and yet, the world has bulldozed and browbeaten male humans into feeling that embracing their feminine gender is an errant and nefarious act. So, the last thing they need is you giving them a false sense of security by allowing them to finally open up to you, telling them you welcome them and approve of them and then, turning around and invalidating and undermining their existence.

Just be real with them, be real with yourself. Fuck society’s bullshit narratives and judgments. If you think you will lose family and friends simply because you’re in love with a gender nonconforming person, then you don’t really have those family and friends to begin with. Anyone who abandons a person, who they purport to love unconditionally, entirely based on that person’s partner’s gender, doesn’t actually unconditionally love that person.

What Miah and I have is something beautiful and special and I really am the luckiest girl in the world, however cliche that truth may sound. It is not something that other people could easily attain or maintain and I understand that. But, it is possible for anyone who really wants it and who is willing to nourish and cherish and grow it.

Amanda

Miss Moonstar, I really do hope that those who read your answer will take your statements and advice to heart. No, loving only part of a person is not unconditional, nor is it truly sustainable.

Your blog describes you both walking, shopping and visiting places together (you have addressed the matter of public reaction in your blog at times). So, “Would you both tell us about your negative and positive experiences of typical public reaction to you as a couple, and how you felt about it both at the time and in general?”

Miah

The public reaction to us as a couple is entirely different from the public reaction to me when I appear alone. MM is a bulletproof vest for me. When we are together, we are rarely bothered by anyone. We have had a couple belligerent people try to invade our space, and gotten some strange looks from a passerby, but generally speaking, I don’t think people dare approach us. Sometimes, I wish more people would come up and talk to us. I miss people. The protection, which MM exudes but doesn’t purposefully project, can sometimes insulate me from the world. I am certain my presence does the same to her. However, I stray from the point. I think most of the public likes to see us, at least in our liberal city. Occasionally, someone is a little too excited to see us. For example, the other day a guy parked his truck backwards in a turnabout so he could watch us take pics at a park bench. He just brazenly gawked at us until we moved spots. When I drove by him, he smiled and waved to us. At this point, it is what it is. We may never be the couple who can come and go unnoticed, but for the most part, we both enjoy the thrill and we do our best to laugh at ourselves and remember we do what we do for joy. Haters are always gonna hate but you gotta get to the point where you don’t register that. I think we are almost there.

Miss Moonstar

For the most part, the public reaction seems to be positive, or at the very least, NOT negative. There have been a couple of times that I had to get gulley and let some redneck, hillbilly, TERF bitches know that I would bring the ruckus. They thought they were going to prevent Miah from using the bathroom. Miah is always so dignified and pleasant and shy so, she was trying to walk away and avoid making a scene. Normally, I would be the same way but, I completely lose my shit when someone fucks with Miah, especially women like that. They think she won’t defend herself because she is a gender-fluid man and they are “women”. So, I get a little crazy, say something totally inappropriate, threaten to bang their husbands, and they end up backing off……Other than those assholes, the public treats us pretty well. Men can get a little intense in their appreciation for us but, we take it in stride. Most women love us too. Miah has a commanding presence and most people respect her, even if they aren’t sure of the dynamic. I think most times, people see her and then see me and wonder why she isn’t with someone equally as amazing and beautiful as her. I wonder that too. Regardless, I feel lucky as hell to have her and to be treated so kindly by most strangers.

Amanda

It is so interesting to hear that you are treated differently as individuals than when people see you as a couple. It surprises me that you have not had many unpleasant experiences. That says a lot for the progress of acceptance of those who are gender non conforming.

This is a cheeky question you can answer together, but from your blog you sound like a fairly sexually active couple when so many couples seem to complain about their partner and not having enough sex. It is not easy to define ‘sex’ or quantify it, so for this question consider it to include any sexual activity engaged in as a couple. I can give you a choice of two typical questionnaire questions. “Together rate your level of activity on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being inactive and 5 being very active.” Or, to be more empirical, “How many times a month do you engage in sexual activity together?“

Miah and Miss Moonstar

I’d say we have sex anywhere from 4 to 9 times a month. As with any couple, life will steal days from us occasionally. Someone may not feel well, we may be too busy, or and unforeseen event will stop us from coming together, but we never have an issue reinvigorating each other. The sexual space we have created is one of absolute non-judgmental joy seeking. It is one of the most free spaces we have ever entered. We are open about what turns us on, we have no insecurities about any aspects of our bodies or our sexual skills. We exhibit whatever feelings we may feel across the gender spectrum without fear. You can imagine that makes for a really fun experience where we can let go and just enjoy. We understand that sexuality is not static, so we try our best to facilitate each other’s dreams and fantasies and it has been more than wonderful. We don’t believe couples who say they screw every day. It’s not about quantity, it’s about quality and ultimately, having fun.

Miah. I’ll add that a day never goes by where Miss Moonstar doesn’t grab my ass and tell me how sexy I am, even though she’s the real Goddess. I’m a very lucky guy.

Amanda

In the light of what I hear on social media, I think you are both very fortunate to have each other as sexual partners.

Another question. ”With separate answers, how do you feel and how do you react when your partner is the object of coarse or crude comments and offers of sex online or in real time?”

Miah

I get more of this online, while Miss gets more real life propositions. I think we handle this quite well, considering the crude way in which people show their love. It is, however, occasionally a mine field to navigate. I’ve made a point of making it grossly clear that I am taken, and in love, and not missing any lustiness in my life. I am also wildly flirtatious so I try not to lead people on. Over time, I’ve developed a kind of rule I follow when dealing with sex fuelled online friends. It’s a one chance rule. I always forgive the first crudely worded or dick pic included message. I thank the person for their interest in me. I understand that people find me attractive and sometimes can’t help themselves. I believe in the decency in people. So, I implore them to reconsider approaching me a different way, so we may be able to be friends. Often times, even someone who began with a dick pic will turn back into the good person inside once they realize I am much more than a sex object. Besides, being my decent friend online is the best and only way to get my reciprocal flirtation and the occasional salacious ass shot in your inbox.

As for Miss, and the guys who come on to her: I do nothing. She’s beautiful and sexy and I fully expect people to approach her. I also trust her to handle it, which she always does. I never feel insecure or mad that she gets love, or attention. I’m flattered, actually. Everyone needs attention and I’m glad she gets it. If anyone really crossed the line, I’d kick their ass. I’m still a 6 foot tall man. Come get some.

Miss Moonstar

This is an awesome question and I probably should be ashamed of my answer, but I’m not. I could lie and pretend to be dignified but, I won’t. The truth is, I love it when Miah is the object of people’s sexual fantasies or desires. How could I not love it? I have my own dark twisted fantasies in which Miah is the main attraction. The difference is, I get to act out my fantasies with Miah, as others do not. Well, except for the occasional weekend when I need to make some extra money so, I turn her into a Red Roof Inn glory hole queen…….I’m joking, I do not pimp out the love of my life……I love that Jer has many admirers and fans. The only time that I am bothered is when he is bothered by it. If he truly feels uncomfortable or disrespected, then I try to comfort him and give him advice on how to proceed…….Miah gets a great deal of online (as well as some in real life, that seek her out online) admirers and mostly, we just laugh at the ridiculous things that people say because it is highly entertaining.

Amanda

I think the strength of a relationship is shown by enjoying the fact that one’s partner receives attention. It shows trust and confidence. But, yes, if that line is crossed……Watch out! Some of the things that anonymous admirers suggest they would do to us would test the skills of an acrobat, but they are certainly amusing.

Before we move off the subject of Sex, I note that you have been asked before about your interest in the Chastity fetish. “Being largely ignorant about what motivates people to wear cages and be submissive to another person, would both of you like to comment on this subject for me?”

Miah

Since I have written extensively about chastity, I’ll keep it brief. A chastity cage is a sexy novelty item to me. It’s jewelry for my dick. It’s a naughty game we play occasionally but it’s not what you think. I’m not submissive unless I decide to be for a period of time. I don’t hate my cock, nor has it become useless because of occasionally being caged. But, we are an open minded couple and the cage necessarily changes the sexual dynamic when it’s being used. When it’s on, I utilize a more feminine based sexuality and we enjoy that space until it comes off. Mostly though, I like to wear it us an accoutrement that helps minimize my bulge with certain clothing and makes me feel dreamily sexual all day long. So, yes, we enjoy chastity but I’m not a cuckold or a subbie, nor is Miss Moonstar a true Dominant. We are just an adventurous couple with a wonderfully safe sexual space.

Miss Moonstar

My interest in putting Miah’s dick in a cage and exerting dominance over him can pretty much be summed up with one word, followed by an overstatement of facts. That word is REPARATIONS…..Miah=Jer is white and I’m indigenous (biracial). Ya’ll motherfuckers caged my people onto reservations and stole my land, so now, I get to steal your anal cavities and cage your dicks. Lock up your husbands and grandfathers ladies, I’m coming to cage their dicks and blow out their holes!!!…..too soon?…..too far?…. You’re welcome.

Amanda

I somehow didn’t think you two were into dominance and submissiveness in any serious way. I get it now. Using a cage as another part of a repertoire of sexual experiences together makes absolute sense. Miss Moonstar, you have a wicked sense of humour, though with a tinge of understandable strong feeling. I envisage a myriad of white guys clutching their privates, tightening their anal sphincters and hoping not to be found in their hiding places. Retribution indeed.

Of all your talents, Miah, music stands out as appearing to be the most important, so let’s address that topic. My question to you is “What motivates you to express yourself in music and how long have you been composing? Is there a connection between your music and your sexuality?”

Miah

Music is my God, and my drug addiction. Seriously, music has helped me through the parts of life another person cannot. Music has soothed me, inspired me, healed me, and guided me all my life. I can’t explain my connection to it other than to say it’s otherworldly. When I was 18, my first roommate in college had an old acoustic and taught me the chords necessary to play “Wish You Were Here” by Pink Floyd. I’ve never been able to afford lessons so I just downloaded and printed tablature of my favourite songs until I learned to strum and properly form chords. I remember having the tablature for the entire OK Computer album and learning all those songs and the weird chords Johnny Greenwood used in that album. Eventually, I realized I also needed to learn to sing. In the same manner, I just hacked away until I figured out how to use my voice. It’s taken years. I probably wrote my first songs in 1998. I played in a band in college where we played the songs I wrote, rudimentary as they were. Then, life happened and I stopped playing music for a decade at least. When I met Danie, all my passion for life returned and so did all my demons and fears, and those are what I write about. The trials and tribulations of an emotionally dense life. Mood music for the soul, if you will.

You asked if my music was connected to my sexuality. Of course it is. Everything I do comes from my dicks’ brain, in pursuance of the honey hole. I’m a man, after all.

Amanda

Miah, that you taught yourself is really interesting. What an achievement. Yes, as a guy having two brains, it is always a struggle to know which one is motivating and making decisions on one’s behalf.

Miss Moonstar, my question to you is “I am sure you are supportive of Miah’s musical talent, so would you like to comment on this area of life with Miah?”

Miss Moonstar

Yes, I love Miah’s music, I really truly do….music is pretty much the sole reason that I did not become a homicidal maniac many many years ago. Without music to be my therapist every single day, I think they might have opened Alcatraz back up to incarcerate me for the heinous atrocities that I would have committed. I have known many different types of musicians throughout my life and many of them were either, just trying to make as much noise as possible without making much sense or, they were too interested in “acting” like a musician but never actually BEING a musician. I still always tried to find something true and positive about their art to encourage them. I love all kinds of music from Jackson Browne to Tupac to Nirvana to Buddy Guy to Stevie Nicks to Alicia Keys to Ani DiFranco and everything in between and outside of those artists, including and especially Greygh0st (Miah=Jer). I am completely tone deaf and I’m partially deaf in my left ear but, I fucking know great music when I hear it. That is me exhibiting my arrogant and narcissistic side and, I apologize for that. I’ve done that quite often in these questions and for that, I’m truly sorry. I can’t sing or play an instrument or keep a beat but, I know when something is special, musically. My body hears it before my ears do….I don’t love Miah’s music simply because I love Miah. I have loved people before and could not love their music because, well, they sounded like Gary Busey hate fucking Rudy Giuliani while they both had third degree explosive diarrhea (you’re welcome for that imagery, by the way). I love Miah’s music because it soothes me, inspires me, humbles me, etc., because it makes me feel all of the emotions that music should evoke. Every song evokes a different emotion. And, like emotions, some of Miah’s songs are easier to handle than others but, they are all valid and beautiful and important. I was so relieved when I knew that he wrote and made great music. I was also relieved when I realized that he wasn’t interested in pretending to “act” like a rock star. He is interested in making music. He just truly loves his art. I love and am honoured to be able to witness and be part of his creative process. Creative processes can be difficult at times for various reasons. When Miah writes these songs, the lyrics are many times, from his own experiences, and from my own personal experiences. He has had to go to these emotional places that he has not visited in a long time, or he has to kind of “temporarily tour” my mind and memories. Those things can be a shock to the system. But, they are also worthy of being inspirational. They happened, we went through those battles, and as I have reminded him many times, we found our way back, and when we did, we found each other so, it’s ok to leave it all out on the paper. As in, turning those hard experiences into beautiful songs, is the best kind of redemption and reclamation and the greatest way to honour the people we were and the people we became…I’ve never asked him to write a song about me, or him, or us. When he comes to me and says that he has an idea for a song, I’ve encouraged him to write it, regardless of the concept. I have always just kind of said, “trust your instincts babe, trust your own creative and emotional intelligence, you’re the musician”….

I guess I’m just trying to say that Miah is one of the best lyricists that I’ve ever heard and her songs are from all different perspectives and different genres, so you would have to be quite an ignorant, dark hearted, fuck-show to not be able to enjoy at least ONE of them. On top of her profoundly keen and penetrating, intuitive lyrics, comes that magical melodic voice that has calmed the raging, thunderous storm inside of me that has the propensity to leave me lost at sea. A voice that has galvanized me into taking my own power back. A voice that has brought me to my knees, with the realization that someone finally saw me, and still wanted to love me. A voice that is in my head as much as my own voice at times. A voice that is the perfect combination of sweet and savoury and tart. A voice that is impossible not to love. So yeah, I’m her biggest fan. He calls me his muse, but I just feel lucky that I get a front row seat to this magnanimous, multi faceted, beautiful soul…..plus I get to bang the singer, backstage after the show.

Amanda

Well, Miah, I knew music was important to you, but I see now just how much so. Miss Moonstar, what a powerful answer. I suspect that all amateur musicians would just love to have the support and motivation that you give to Miah.

Interviews do get lengthy and I would love to go on exploring further, but it is time to draw this to a close. My last question is not likely to be an easy one to answer, the topic requiring you to look ahead, act as a futurist and predict the possible outcomes of vitally important but contentious issues in our society. I word the question a little differently for each of you.

Miah, the attitudes and social mores of our culture seem to be gradually changing towards greater acceptance of the LGBTQ community, but much reluctance and hostility remains among the more conservative elements of our society. Both clerical and political elements are themselves conflicting on the matter, yet both camps exert much influence on the unfolding processes of acceptance and rejection. My question is “Given the sharp division between those whose thinking is "left” or “right”, the assault on democracy and the preoccupation with more urgent issues such as climate change, mass migrations, and the threat of further pandemics and nuclear hostilities, what do you see for the near future of the slow trend for acceptance of the LBGTQ community and how do you feel it may affect you personally”?

Miah

I think it’s important to look at the bigger picture but, when one looks from too far away, the problem can seem unsolvable and immense. The truth is, the world will never be a safe or fair place for any one type of person. Those are social ideals. The question we must ask is: are there enough quality spaces for us? Is the number of those spaces growing, and are the spaces themselves expanding? I think the current moment in time is one of growth, not suppression, as indicated by the many changing opinions about gender and race that have been seen in the past couple decades. That said, times of growth are always times of danger for the growing. We have to be strong and vigilant, while simultaneously rising above the fray. You want change? You have to be a part of it, even if it will only affect the future world. And, anyone can be a part of it by simply joining the discourse. My only prediction is that we will continue to struggle for a while, until the bullies are exposed as our biggest fans, or better, the very things they fear. Even the binary minded live in a spectrumized world, they just don’t know it yet. (Yeah, I just made up a word.)

On a smaller scale, I’d say the current definitions of sex, gender and sexuality have been muddled into a variety of all encompassing words meant to be identification markers but effectively amount to political and social positions. This is helping to create the divisive arguments ensnaring non binary movements around the world. We have given up trying to explain ourselves, and we defend that with a sense of entitlement that is, sadly, defining this recent generation of freedom fighters. One of the worst things a knowledgeable person can do to an ignorant one is to hide the truth. In order to be understood, one must first admit core truths, and in this world of counter spin, that is increasingly becoming harder. Every story now conveniently has another side. I think this is the main problem with social constructs like gender and race. We’ve given them such meaning, they now mean too much. To some they mean everything. I think it’s time to dial that back and stop attaching such importance to the individual self. If I’ve learned one lesson in life it is that selfishness is the fastest path to ending up alone. My advice: learn to share. Your world will immediately be a better place. And, if you can’t or won’t explain yourself, don’t expect to be understood.

As for me personally, I just keep getting up and living the new day. I don’t give a shit what people think about me much anymore because there is just not enough time in the day. All I really have to do is live life until it’s gone, and treat others right while I’m here. Just like the world issues you mentioned, I have always been a polarizing character and this has always surprised me. I know myself to be good, loyal, honest and just. I’ve never quite understood my detractors other than to chalk them up to what could be described as a intrinsic jealousy of my free swinging gender and sexuality, or anger at my inability to label myself as trans or gay or some other binary. Otherwise, I’m not sure how a person could hate my gentle soul. After all, like Bryan Adams said, “Everything I do, I do it for you.” Including my music, so if you love me, please follow my YouTube and listen!!!

PS Thank you all for taking the time and thank you Amanda, for the opportunity to share and for all the hard work you did preparing and executing this project. You are truly a shining light in this Tumblr world and I love you, girl.

Amanda

Miss Moonstar, you strike me as a woman who has strong opinions on many issues, and is prepared to be vocal about them. My question to you is similar to that which I have asked Miah but of a different focus. The question is “Given the ……what do you, as a female and a member of an ethnic minority, see for the near future of the “human rights movement”, particularly those relating to ethnic and gender equality in our still male dominated society, and how do you feel it may affect you personally?“

Miss Moonstar

I think that the last four years shattered what little integrity the United States had left, in regards to the human rights movement. I am not blaming one person. I am blaming an ideal that brought people out of the woodwork to defend it. I think that it is going to take some time for us to bounce back from that. And ultimately, while there are more people now than ever who support equality and are fighting everyday for it, America never has been an equitable place for minorities of any race, gender, sexuality or otherwise. I don’t know when or why we tried to convince ourselves that this country was a haven of sanctuary. This is not a home for the free and this land was stolen from the brave so, I think that if we just admit these things to ourselves, we can begin to move forward.

Pretending that this country treats everyone equally is a mistake, and the federal government is the biggest gaslighter of that flame. The first thing that needs to happen is; all of us people who are fighting for equality and rights need to stick together. We need to stop dividing ourselves. I can guarantee that the same people who think that there is no such thing as systemic racism or police brutality against Black people are the same people who think that everyone has a right to use American Indians as they see fit, that they are owned by everyone. Using “Indianness” for nationalist pride, for advertising strategies, as a Halloween costume, a sports team, for spirituality and self help advancement, etc. But when the Indigenous people try to explain how hurtful and dehumanizing it is to have their entire ethnicity mocked, these entitled people say that Indians are being too sensitive. They are good enough to be used in every possible way but not valid enough to have sovereignty or equality, or dignity.

And THOSE particular people who think that about Black people and Indigenous people definitely do not have any regard for the gender movement. They do not have any regard for anything that is not straight, white, and christian. So, instead of the LGBTQIA+ people on one side, the Black people on another side, the Indigenous people on another, the women’s rights movement on another side, other POC over on another side, instead of that menagerie of messiness and embarrassment, how about ALL of us on the SAME side? We need to stop shitting on each other, we need to stop acting like it is acceptable to hold someone else down in order to prop ourselves up. I see a lot of gender nonconforming white people who turn a blind, deafening silent eye in regards to POC. I hear people deny the truths of systemic racism and police brutality against Black/Brown people and, in the same breath, talk about how hard it is for Indiegnous people on reservations. Admitting how much Native Americans have been fucked over is cool but, admitting that Black people have been fucked over is a hard limit? Give me a goddamn break with that bullshit.

We all need to create a safe space for each other, we need to stop pretending that fighting each other is going to change ANYTHING. Fighting the establishment that wants us to fight each other is what we should be doing. Holding the guilty accountable, not staying silent. Too many people “don’t want to get involved”, because they think that staying “neutral” is peaceful and proactive. I have news for those people, 1.) you are already involved 2.) neutrality is no longer an option, not in these regards 3.) if you can stand by and watch a Black person be mistreated by the police, or see the huge number of Indigenous women who are missing or murdered, or watch women lose reproductive rights, or watch LGBTQIA+ people fall through the cracks and lose their entire livelihood in order to gain a fraction of efficacy…if you can stand by and see all that shit (and more) happen, and then look me in the eyes and tell me that you support all of those people but, you have to remain neutral; then you are NOT neutral. You made a choice, you are just too much of a coward to admit your choice. You are the establishment that we are fighting against and we do not want your superficial, complacent bullshit.

If these things that I have said bother anyone on a deeply personal level, then I strongly urge them to look inward to find out why. I am not a hateful person, I only stand for equality and peace. Sometimes, you have to fight for peace and I prefer fighting with my mind instead of my fists. I have never once used physical violence in my life, but I have seriously considered throwing a bag of shit on Marjorie Taylor Greene’s hideous face. I am at a loss as to how to do that, though. How do I put Marjorie Taylor Greene into a bag and then take that bag of Marjorie Taylor Greene and throw it on Marjorie Taylor Greene? Talk about a fucking paradox.

PS Thank you to those of you who have supported Miah throughout the years. It brings me much warmth to know that she has so many beautiful souls in her corner. You are all some of the most special and unique humans on this earth and I am grateful for all of you. Shine on, you crazy diamonds!!

Amanda

Those are both insightful and powerful answers to a difficult question. Miss Moonstar, your words, in particular, should be shouted from the rooftops.

Well, Miah and Miss Moonstar, interviewing you as a couple has been a most interesting and informative experience and you deserve to be congratulated on having given well thought out and honest answers, many clearly from your hearts.

My hope is that those of us in our community who are willing to read and learn from the experiences of others will enjoy and find strength in reading our interview.

Thank you for opening yourselves up to us so sincerely and freely,

Take care and stay safe,

AmandaJane

#10 reblogs #tumblr milestone #thank you

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ajappendix · 2 years

Text

Amanda Jane interviews Miah Marlow and Miss Moonstar

Amanda

Our past has much to do with our present so let's begin by delving into the past, before you met. Despite the wondrous childhood images our culture likes to promote, many do not have an enviable start in life to carry forward into adulthood. My first question to both of you is:-

”What circumstances, experiences and events of your early years do you feel greatly influenced the person that you are now?"

Miah

The most influential memory of my life happened the night my Dad drove me to the store at the end of the road. I was 7 years old. He pulled the car over and said "You'll always be special to me, but from now on SHE has to be first. If not she'll leave us. You will call her Mom." It was the day my Dad lost his spine, and I lost my Dad. I hate to start so negatively, but this is the truth. When I was old enough for them to leave me home alone, around 11 or 12, I began to create the earliest incarnations of what would become my gender fluidity. There is no question that being ruled by a strong, evil woman, and a weak spineless man, led me to be confused about where to find role models. So, I went deep into my own mind and made my own special place, and accompanying version of myself, galaxies apart from the me I showed the world. It would be a lifetime before I would reconcile the two.

Miss Moonstar

Growing up as the youngest and the only girl in a home with all males and no mother or female role model was confusing and difficult but, it was also a lesson in strength and intelligence. I was already "different" than all of the other little girls around, with my dark complexion and my "strange" features. Add in being raised in a home full of only males and no mother, and that was a recipe for the perfect weirdo. I had a great father, who back then, was the wisest and most resilient person. He taught me to find solace and knowledge in the the earth, the water, the sun, the moon, and the nonhuman creatures. And books. So those were my friends, my teachers, and my counsellors for most of my young life. Making human friends as a young person proved to be almost impossible because in a small, conservative, 99.99% white, Christian town where ANY outsider is unwelcome; the mothers of the little girls don't trust a strange darker girl who does not have a "good god fearing mother to tame the savage out of her" (I actually heard things like that growing up), not to mention I literally had B cups at age 9, and that is a heavy accelerant for ignorant, insecure, small town women .....So I think as I matured into a young adult, these things helped mold me into being as disarming as possible because I just wanted women to see me, to like me, to understand that I'm one of them. These things probably played a role in me being insecure with my body image for most of my adult life, as well. The same experiences also taught me to be stoic, to never stop educating myself, to embrace my intelligence, to understand my power, and to never wield them for wicked reasons. To remember that no living creature is more valuable than another. And to recognize the internal beauty in the rare and unique people that the earth puts in my life.

Amanda

Miah, “At what age did you realize that you were different from those around you, and begin to question where you fitted in the narrow binary gender view of the time.”

Miah

I mentioned that I began dressing feminine in secret around age 11. Up until 16, I was certain I was unique in this behaviour, and I certainly thought I was doing something wrong. I had no idea there were others like me, until finally, one day my mind was opened to a whole different world. Remember, this was 1991. There were no smart phones and being "online" was not quite universal. So, as a 16 year old wanting, no, needing porn, I had to turn to the medium of the time, magazines. Club Magazine to be exact, because it had penetration pics. I only had one copy stashed away in a secret spot, and since many of its pages were stuck together, I often found myself gooning to the back pages, where the 1-900 numbers were advertised, along with ads for other interesting publications and VHS tapes. This is where I saw what my immature mind could only describe as a chick...with a dick! She was tall, and skinny, with tiny, if there-at-all boobs, long brown hair, and a boyish yet beautiful face, advertising something called “Shemale BDSM”. I immediately fell into the fantasy of wondering about her, imagining how she came to be, and ultimately, being her. From that day forward, I never stopped imagining myself as a feminine thing, destined to someday flourish as I wanted. This was the moment I realized that boys could be girls, and maybe I was one of them.

Amanda

Miss Moonstar, a slightly different question to you. “Growing up in a male environment and shunned as 'different' by the mothers of girls with whom you could have been friends, did you ever question your gender or did you always firmly feel that you were female?”

Miss Moonstar

For a long time, I didn't understand that the reason that I was "different" was because of my ethnicity and my over developed young body. I thought that it was because I was some form of weird boy. It's a strange explanation but, I was in a home with only boys, I did all the same things that boys did, I played with boys, I wore my brothers' "hand me down" boys clothes, I liked the same things as boys liked so therefore, I must be a boy. The day that I truly started to understand that I might not be exactly the same as my brothers and father was when, my dad walked by the bathroom and I was in there going pee, with the door open; my dad asked me what I was doing and I told him I was peeing. He asked me why I was standing up, over the toilet. I just always assumed that was how you went pee. That was how my brothers and my father did it, so why wouldn't I? My dad took me for a long walk that day, explaining to me the physical biological differences between boys and girls, as well as many other things. After that day, I kind of started to rediscover my body, feeling and knowing that I had something different than all of the boys and in my mind, that made me special. I was still very young and had much more to learn and understand about my sex and gender but, the pivotal events of that day subsequently began my journey to embrace my "femaleness" and my femininity. I still have many "masculine" personality traits but, I know that I was absolutely meant to be a woman and, even though womanhood can have it's negative and sometimes scary moments, I would not trade it for anything.

Amanda

Miah

I was beginning a new life when I met Miss Moonstar. Two years prior, I got divorced. I had lived with my then wife and her two children for 6 years. When I look back on it, I think it was my last ditch attempt at having a "normal" life and shutting out the girl inside who had caused me so much trouble. I struggled with the sexless relationship, but found personal growth in the raising of two boys. I never wanted kids of my own, but I got to teach them decency, and logic, and compassion, and I got to coach baseball. Sadly, I secretly found my feminine time through it all, until I could go no further. When I lost a job, she kicked me out. We tried to remain friends for the sake of the kids, and I finally told her my secret.

I could write for a year straight and still not address the scope of Miss Moonstar's arrival in my life. I was literally done with relationships. I planned to be a bachelor forever, taking lovers and being a sex Goddess until I died, when my friend Dawn introduced us. What I remember from that moment is often a blur, but I do remember a very specific feeling that overtook my body as she and I spoke. Nostalgia. Even though we had never met before, I knew this person. She was one of my kind. In fact, the last time I felt this way upon meeting a woman was my college days when girls and guys weren't all that different, just young humans with big dreams. One of us would say something and our eyes would meet and we would laugh in our minds together. On day one! My attraction was instant. My knowledge of her felt reliable and certain. Yes, she was beautiful, yes, she was sexy, yes, she was charming, but it was her softness and intelligence that ultimately won my heart, as no one had ever used such a gentle hand with me, or a thoughtful approach, ever. Still, to this day, her soft love and understanding is unrivalled in my life, and one of the main reasons I'll try to keep her around forever.

Miss Moonstar

About 2 years prior to meeting Miah=Jer, I had suffered a miscarriage at around 21 weeks. I cannot accurately articulate the feeling of that loss. To lose someone that I had loved so much but, that I would never be able to meet, was one of the most profound tragedies of my existence. While I was unconscious, the nurses contacted my romantic long term partner/father of my child, as standard procedure but also, so that I would not be alone when I came out of the anesthesia. When I awoke, the nurses gently informed me that my partner would not be coming. Since I could no longer be a vessel for his child, I was no longer a viable partner. I was a failure in every definition of the word. I spent the next almost 2 years grieving, searching for answers in every pocket of the world, and rebuilding myself. I had come to the conclusion that I deserved to love myself and that the only people who deserved to be in my life, were the people who encouraged and supported me loving myself. I also had decided that I was not going to have relationship partners ever again. Male and female lovers but, no relationships. Before I would embark on being the world's greatest womanizer and seductress though, I was introduced to Miah=Jer, through my friend Dawn. This person was physically the most beautiful human that I had ever seen, on both ends of the masculine/feminine spectrum and everything in between. However, when I sat down and started to talk to this person, I felt like I was finally home. I had always wondered what the feeling of "coming home" was. I never felt like I had ever been "home". Not with my family, not in the place that I grew up, not in any state or city that I had lived in, not around any humans. But this person, this strange feeling that was both foreign and more familiar than anything I had ever felt, this was exactly where I was supposed to be. We started our conversation that night and for the next almost four years, haven't stopped. The attraction was cerebral for me. Of course he has endless physically attractive traits but, I love Miah's intellect the most. I love that Miah is much more intelligent than me, I love that there is no topic that is off limits, I love his constant quest for knowledge, her never ending thirst for learning. And his patient, gentle approach to all of my crazy idiosyncrasies. I also have a dark, twisted, sick sense of humour and Miah is the only person that I've ever met that can go toe-to-toe with me on that. Because we both were in a place in our lives where we refused to keep hiding our true selves and, couldn't continue to pretend that we weren't total freak shows, we both needed to build a safe space for each other, so as much as the feeling of "home" was sudden, we slowly nurtured and grew our relationship. As ridiculous and cliche as it may sound, Miah=Jer is my soul's recognition of it's counterpart. Miah=Jer is the love of my life and I will love him for as long as she allows me to, but I will start with forever.

Amanda

Now that we are up to the present, it is time for a standard question for you both. “What age are you now, where do you live and what do you do to make a living.”

Miah

I'm from Ithaca, NY, I'm 46, and I have a unique arrangement from which I obtain resources. I've been demonized by some family members for this lifestyle, but I wanted to be honest with you all. Coming out as genderfluid hurt my career path a bit. If you think poorly of me after reading this, well, fuck off.

I care for and work for my Grandpa. I manage his life and his business. He's 89, and he requires assistance in almost every area of his life. Some of that is personal care and daily needs like food, various appointments, his finances, and his medical needs. But, it also entails acting as property manager for his apartment building, and rental agent when an apartment becomes available or a tenant has needs. I also maintain the property physically and do the building maintenance. I do this because I'd be dead without my Grandpa, and he was abandoned by his immediate family when his wife, my Grandma, died. He saved me numerous times in this life, and it is only right I repay his love with love in return. Both Miss Moonstar and I have promised him that we will be here until the very end so that is what we will do. This work I do amounts to anywhere from a demanding part time job to a full time job depending on the week, but we have our own house on the same property, food and necessities, and some of the rent I generate becomes mine. I supplement this by working for another elderly person in town in a similar assistant capacity. This is how I get by. I definitely did not expect to be doing this at 46, but loyalty has its price, and its rewards. It's no secret Miss Moonstar and I will inherit this place when the saddest day of my life comes, and it will help us take care of each other moving forward. I hope some of you will still be here for me then. I probably won't know what to do with my grief.

My career is not over though. Many people do not create their legacy until the second half of their life. I fully intend to pursue my dreams as long as I'm alive. I'll probably find my way back to a non profit agency where I can use my law degree for some good, and I definitely plan to add 'published author" to the list of things I've done. Heck, I could still get a record deal. Crazier shit has happened.

Miss Moonstar

I'm 39 years old. I now live in Ithaca, New York. For a good chunk of years I was a pastry chef, before and after I graduated culinary school. I earned my associate degree in social sciences with the intention of pursuing my B.Soc.Sc in sociology but, the culinary dream had already sunk its teeth in me. After graduating culinary school in New Orleans, I stayed there and continued my career as a pastry chef. I spent some time doing that in various other cities and states until I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. At that juncture, I knew that I needed to make some serious life changes so, I did. I attained my B.Soc.Sc in sociology, and entered the world of social work. I finally found where I belonged when, a nonprofit that I connected with on a deeply personal level contacted me, offering me a position as a victim advocate for survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence. It has been one of the most humbling, heart wrenching, and necessary experiences that I have ever had.

Amanda

Miah

As the years have passed, my definition of my gender has changed yet I still use the same word, gender-fluid. I suppose this is simply because it's the most accessible word available, even though many people still don't know what it is. I'm gender-fluid in the literal sense, meaning my gender is fluid. While many people find themselves leaning feminine or masculine or in between, I am all over the spectrum depending on my mood or desire. Often times, this manifests as either the "girl" or "guy" me, which is sickeningly binary to me, but it is what it is. At least I can move on the spectrum as I wish. I think of gender as different from biological sex or sexuality. I still view myself as male, and my sexuality really has no bearing on my gender, or vice versa.

The other words you mentioned either aren't strong enough to define me, or undermine me entirely. For example, the word crossdresser is a weak action descriptor. It merely says that one crossdresses, similar to how biker indicates one rides bikes. The word sissy adds a sexual element that is not always present in my regular behaviour, and also indicates that I might be submissive, embarrassed by what I am, or negatively influenced by the internet. None of these are true. Finally, transgender can never be the word for me because I do not claim womanhood. I think that is the essence of being trans, that one is the alternate sex from their birth body. I am simply not a woman, and one hundred percent biologically male. I claim femininity as a skillset and part of my gender, hence my reliance on the term gender-fluid.

Amanda

Miss Moonstar

First and foremost, I love Miah=Jer's gender fluidity and all of the different characteristics that it entails. Regardless of what end of the gender spectrum she presents as, he has the same heart, the same mind, the same emotions, the same voice, the same body, everyday. This was never something that I "needed to wrap my head around" or do any deep soul searching about when I Miah=Jer. Yes, I first met him when she was en femme but, the very next day we met for coffee and she was en masc. The familiar cerebral conversation, the relaxed nature, and the attraction did not change with the gender accoutrements.

Being with a man who knows that he is a man who, also knows that he has many genders is the most liberating and refreshing feeling that I have ever experienced. I've always been a pansexual woman, constantly seeking out something that everyone I knew told me did not exist. But it did exist, it DOES exist. Having a male partner who not only loves femininity and all of the different tangible and intangible layers but, who understands it, enjoys it, and LIVES it, is something that I will never take for granted.

I know that some people want me to say that during the beginning of our relationship, I was worried about; whether Miah would be "masculine" and "manly" enough for me, what people would think of me when they saw us together in public, if my friends/colleagues/family would approve of our relationship, how our sex would work, what do I say to people who question me about Jer and/or our relationship. The truth is this, in the same order that I listed the "thoughts": I did not consider her manliness or masculinity. His gender is fluid, her masculinity is always there, just as his femininity is. As far as his manliness goes, he is a man, he identifies as a man and when he needs or wants that manliness to be at the forefront, it is and, I don't get to decide either of those. No one has the right to decide his gender except Miah=Jer. I fell in love with her BECAUSE of her gender fluidity, NOT IN SPITE of her gender fluidity. I have never cared what people think when they see us together in public. If someone that I care about doesn't approve of our relationship, that's their problem, not mine. If you can't be seen in public with us, then you don't need to be seen by me, at all. I don't have time for that shit. If someone genuinely inquires about Jer or our relationship then of course, I explain what gender-fluid means, who Jer truly is inside, who I am, the beautiful love that we have, and why I'm the luckiest person in the world. And as far as our sex, I think everyone wonders what the sex will be like when they first enter in a relationship, regardless of the dynamic. I wasn't worried about Jer not desiring me, not because I'm arrogant, it was just pretty obvious that he desired me and my body as much as I desired him and his body. I don't need to go too in depth but, for the first time in my life, I feel sexually liberated with Jer. There is no judgment, no pressure, no weird expectations. We agreed from the beginning that sex is meant to be a joyful experience and, we encourage each other to free ourselves of our sexual insecurities. And he's a real hellcat in the sack 😉.

In light of all this that I said, the key to success to my relationship with Miah=Jer has been honesty from the very beginning. Honest with each other about who we are and what we want and, honest with our own selves. To the women who are considering entering into a relationship with a gender nonconforming male, I can try to offer some gentle advice; don't judge the person's sexuality based on their gender, they are two different things. Don't secretly try to devise some kind of plan to convince the person to mollify or allay their femininity. That's just shitty. Think about it, you would be asking a person to tear out a piece of the fabric of who they are. If I asked Miah=Jer to diminish his femininity, it would be the same as him asking me to whitewash the half of me that is indigenous. You can't simply "accept" that part of them as if it is some negative trait that you can "deal with" but, as long as they keep it to themselves. You embrace and you love the whole person or you stop wasting both of your time and you move on. It may sound harsh but, it's just the way it has to be. That person is sharing a part of themselves with you that they have had to hide and feel societal shame about for longer than you can begin to fathom. Just like you, they want to be loved completely, they want to be seen, and they want to shed the layers of secrets and stigmatization and degradation that our society has forced them into. Gender is such an innocent thing and yet, the world has bulldozed and browbeaten male humans into feeling that embracing their feminine gender is an errant and nefarious act. So, the last thing they need is you giving them a false sense of security by allowing them to finally open up to you, telling them you welcome them and approve of them and then, turning around and invalidating and undermining their existence.

Just be real with them, be real with yourself. Fuck society's bullshit narratives and judgments. If you think you will lose family and friends simply because you're in love with a gender nonconforming person, then you don't really have those family and friends to begin with. Anyone who abandons a person, who they purport to love unconditionally, entirely based on that person's partner's gender, doesn't actually unconditionally love that person.

Amanda

Miss Moonstar, I really do hope that those who read your answer will take your statements and advice to heart. No, loving only part of a person is not unconditional, nor is it truly sustainable.

Miah

The public reaction to us as a couple is entirely different from the public reaction to me when I appear alone. MM is a bulletproof vest for me. When we are together, we are rarely bothered by anyone. We have had a couple belligerent people try to invade our space, and gotten some strange looks from a passerby, but generally speaking, I don't think people dare approach us. Sometimes, I wish more people would come up and talk to us. I miss people. The protection, which MM exudes but doesn't purposefully project, can sometimes insulate me from the world. I am certain my presence does the same to her. However, I stray from the point. I think most of the public likes to see us, at least in our liberal city. Occasionally, someone is a little too excited to see us. For example, the other day a guy parked his truck backwards in a turnabout so he could watch us take pics at a park bench. He just brazenly gawked at us until we moved spots. When I drove by him, he smiled and waved to us. At this point, it is what it is. We may never be the couple who can come and go unnoticed, but for the most part, we both enjoy the thrill and we do our best to laugh at ourselves and remember we do what we do for joy. Haters are always gonna hate but you gotta get to the point where you don't register that. I think we are almost there.

Miss Moonstar

For the most part, the public reaction seems to be positive, or at the very least, NOT negative. There have been a couple of times that I had to get gulley and let some redneck, hillbilly, TERF bitches know that I would bring the ruckus. They thought they were going to prevent Miah from using the bathroom. Miah is always so dignified and pleasant and shy so, she was trying to walk away and avoid making a scene. Normally, I would be the same way but, I completely lose my shit when someone fucks with Miah, especially women like that. They think she won't defend herself because she is a gender-fluid man and they are "women". So, I get a little crazy, say something totally inappropriate, threaten to bang their husbands, and they end up backing off......Other than those assholes, the public treats us pretty well. Men can get a little intense in their appreciation for us but, we take it in stride. Most women love us too. Miah has a commanding presence and most people respect her, even if they aren't sure of the dynamic. I think most times, people see her and then see me and wonder why she isn't with someone equally as amazing and beautiful as her. I wonder that too. Regardless, I feel lucky as hell to have her and to be treated so kindly by most strangers.

Amanda

This is a cheeky question you can answer together, but from your blog you sound like a fairly sexually active couple when so many couples seem to complain about their partner and not having enough sex. It is not easy to define 'sex' or quantify it, so for this question consider it to include any sexual activity engaged in as a couple. I can give you a choice of two typical questionnaire questions. "Together rate your level of activity on a scale of 1 to 5, 1 being inactive and 5 being very active." Or, to be more empirical, "How many times a month do you engage in sexual activity together?"

Miah and Miss Moonstar

I'd say we have sex anywhere from 4 to 9 times a month. As with any couple, life will steal days from us occasionally. Someone may not feel well, we may be too busy, or and unforeseen event will stop us from coming together, but we never have an issue reinvigorating each other. The sexual space we have created is one of absolute non-judgmental joy seeking. It is one of the most free spaces we have ever entered. We are open about what turns us on, we have no insecurities about any aspects of our bodies or our sexual skills. We exhibit whatever feelings we may feel across the gender spectrum without fear. You can imagine that makes for a really fun experience where we can let go and just enjoy. We understand that sexuality is not static, so we try our best to facilitate each other's dreams and fantasies and it has been more than wonderful. We don't believe couples who say they screw every day. It's not about quantity, it's about quality and ultimately, having fun.

Miah. I’ll add that a day never goes by where Miss Moonstar doesn't grab my ass and tell me how sexy I am, even though she's the real Goddess. I'm a very lucky guy.

Amanda

In the light of what I hear on social media, I think you are both very fortunate to have each other as sexual partners.

Another question. ”With separate answers, how do you feel and how do you react when your partner is the object of coarse or crude comments and offers of sex online or in real time?”

Miah

I get more of this online, while Miss gets more real life propositions. I think we handle this quite well, considering the crude way in which people show their love. It is, however, occasionally a mine field to navigate. I've made a point of making it grossly clear that I am taken, and in love, and not missing any lustiness in my life. I am also wildly flirtatious so I try not to lead people on. Over time, I've developed a kind of rule I follow when dealing with sex fuelled online friends. It's a one chance rule. I always forgive the first crudely worded or dick pic included message. I thank the person for their interest in me. I understand that people find me attractive and sometimes can't help themselves. I believe in the decency in people. So, I implore them to reconsider approaching me a different way, so we may be able to be friends. Often times, even someone who began with a dick pic will turn back into the good person inside once they realize I am much more than a sex object. Besides, being my decent friend online is the best and only way to get my reciprocal flirtation and the occasional salacious ass shot in your inbox.

As for Miss, and the guys who come on to her: I do nothing. She's beautiful and sexy and I fully expect people to approach her. I also trust her to handle it, which she always does. I never feel insecure or mad that she gets love, or attention. I'm flattered, actually. Everyone needs attention and I'm glad she gets it. If anyone really crossed the line, I'd kick their ass. I'm still a 6 foot tall man. Come get some.

Miss Moonstar

This is an awesome question and I probably should be ashamed of my answer, but I'm not. I could lie and pretend to be dignified but, I won't. The truth is, I love it when Miah is the object of people's sexual fantasies or desires. How could I not love it? I have my own dark twisted fantasies in which Miah is the main attraction. The difference is, I get to act out my fantasies with Miah, as others do not. Well, except for the occasional weekend when I need to make some extra money so, I turn her into a Red Roof Inn glory hole queen.......I'm joking, I do not pimp out the love of my life......I love that Jer has many admirers and fans. The only time that I am bothered is when he is bothered by it. If he truly feels uncomfortable or disrespected, then I try to comfort him and give him advice on how to proceed.......Miah gets a great deal of online (as well as some in real life, that seek her out online) admirers and mostly, we just laugh at the ridiculous things that people say because it is highly entertaining.

Amanda

Miah

Since I have written extensively about chastity, I'll keep it brief. A chastity cage is a sexy novelty item to me. It's jewelry for my dick. It's a naughty game we play occasionally but it's not what you think. I'm not submissive unless I decide to be for a period of time. I don't hate my cock, nor has it become useless because of occasionally being caged. But, we are an open minded couple and the cage necessarily changes the sexual dynamic when it's being used. When it's on, I utilize a more feminine based sexuality and we enjoy that space until it comes off. Mostly though, I like to wear it us an accoutrement that helps minimize my bulge with certain clothing and makes me feel dreamily sexual all day long. So, yes, we enjoy chastity but I'm not a cuckold or a subbie, nor is Miss Moonstar a true Dominant. We are just an adventurous couple with a wonderfully safe sexual space.

Miss Moonstar

My interest in putting Miah's dick in a cage and exerting dominance over him can pretty much be summed up with one word, followed by an overstatement of facts. That word is REPARATIONS.....Miah=Jer is white and I'm indigenous (biracial). Ya'll motherfuckers caged my people onto reservations and stole my land, so now, I get to steal your anal cavities and cage your dicks. Lock up your husbands and grandfathers ladies, I'm coming to cage their dicks and blow out their holes!!!.....too soon?.....too far?.... You're welcome.

Amanda

Miah

Music is my God, and my drug addiction. Seriously, music has helped me through the parts of life another person cannot. Music has soothed me, inspired me, healed me, and guided me all my life. I can't explain my connection to it other than to say it's otherworldly. When I was 18, my first roommate in college had an old acoustic and taught me the chords necessary to play “Wish You Were Here” by Pink Floyd. I've never been able to afford lessons so I just downloaded and printed tablature of my favourite songs until I learned to strum and properly form chords. I remember having the tablature for the entire OK Computer album and learning all those songs and the weird chords Johnny Greenwood used in that album. Eventually, I realized I also needed to learn to sing. In the same manner, I just hacked away until I figured out how to use my voice. It's taken years. I probably wrote my first songs in 1998. I played in a band in college where we played the songs I wrote, rudimentary as they were. Then, life happened and I stopped playing music for a decade at least. When I met Danie, all my passion for life returned and so did all my demons and fears, and those are what I write about. The trials and tribulations of an emotionally dense life. Mood music for the soul, if you will.

You asked if my music was connected to my sexuality. Of course it is. Everything I do comes from my dicks' brain, in pursuance of the honey hole. I'm a man, after all.

Amanda

Miss Moonstar, my question to you is “I am sure you are supportive of Miah’s musical talent, so would you like to comment on this area of life with Miah?”

Miss Moonstar

Yes, I love Miah's music, I really truly do....music is pretty much the sole reason that I did not become a homicidal maniac many many years ago. Without music to be my therapist every single day, I think they might have opened Alcatraz back up to incarcerate me for the heinous atrocities that I would have committed. I have known many different types of musicians throughout my life and many of them were either, just trying to make as much noise as possible without making much sense or, they were too interested in "acting" like a musician but never actually BEING a musician. I still always tried to find something true and positive about their art to encourage them. I love all kinds of music from Jackson Browne to Tupac to Nirvana to Buddy Guy to Stevie Nicks to Alicia Keys to Ani DiFranco and everything in between and outside of those artists, including and especially Greygh0st (Miah=Jer). I am completely tone deaf and I'm partially deaf in my left ear but, I fucking know great music when I hear it. That is me exhibiting my arrogant and narcissistic side and, I apologize for that. I've done that quite often in these questions and for that, I'm truly sorry. I can't sing or play an instrument or keep a beat but, I know when something is special, musically. My body hears it before my ears do....I don't love Miah's music simply because I love Miah. I have loved people before and could not love their music because, well, they sounded like Gary Busey hate fucking Rudy Giuliani while they both had third degree explosive diarrhea (you're welcome for that imagery, by the way). I love Miah's music because it soothes me, inspires me, humbles me, etc., because it makes me feel all of the emotions that music should evoke. Every song evokes a different emotion. And, like emotions, some of Miah's songs are easier to handle than others but, they are all valid and beautiful and important. I was so relieved when I knew that he wrote and made great music. I was also relieved when I realized that he wasn't interested in pretending to "act" like a rock star. He is interested in making music. He just truly loves his art. I love and am honoured to be able to witness and be part of his creative process. Creative processes can be difficult at times for various reasons. When Miah writes these songs, the lyrics are many times, from his own experiences, and from my own personal experiences. He has had to go to these emotional places that he has not visited in a long time, or he has to kind of "temporarily tour" my mind and memories. Those things can be a shock to the system. But, they are also worthy of being inspirational. They happened, we went through those battles, and as I have reminded him many times, we found our way back, and when we did, we found each other so, it's ok to leave it all out on the paper. As in, turning those hard experiences into beautiful songs, is the best kind of redemption and reclamation and the greatest way to honour the people we were and the people we became...I've never asked him to write a song about me, or him, or us. When he comes to me and says that he has an idea for a song, I've encouraged him to write it, regardless of the concept. I have always just kind of said, "trust your instincts babe, trust your own creative and emotional intelligence, you're the musician"....

I guess I'm just trying to say that Miah is one of the best lyricists that I've ever heard and her songs are from all different perspectives and different genres, so you would have to be quite an ignorant, dark hearted, fuck-show to not be able to enjoy at least ONE of them. On top of her profoundly keen and penetrating, intuitive lyrics, comes that magical melodic voice that has calmed the raging, thunderous storm inside of me that has the propensity to leave me lost at sea. A voice that has galvanized me into taking my own power back. A voice that has brought me to my knees, with the realization that someone finally saw me, and still wanted to love me. A voice that is in my head as much as my own voice at times. A voice that is the perfect combination of sweet and savoury and tart. A voice that is impossible not to love. So yeah, I'm her biggest fan. He calls me his muse, but I just feel lucky that I get a front row seat to this magnanimous, multi faceted, beautiful soul.....plus I get to bang the singer, backstage after the show.

Amanda

Miah, the attitudes and social mores of our culture seem to be gradually changing towards greater acceptance of the LGBTQ community, but much reluctance and hostility remains among the more conservative elements of our society. Both clerical and political elements are themselves conflicting on the matter, yet both camps exert much influence on the unfolding processes of acceptance and rejection. My question is "Given the sharp division between those whose thinking is "left" or "right", the assault on democracy and the preoccupation with more urgent issues such as climate change, mass migrations, and the threat of further pandemics and nuclear hostilities, what do you see for the near future of the slow trend for acceptance of the LBGTQ community and how do you feel it may affect you personally"?

Miah

I think it's important to look at the bigger picture but, when one looks from too far away, the problem can seem unsolvable and immense. The truth is, the world will never be a safe or fair place for any one type of person. Those are social ideals. The question we must ask is: are there enough quality spaces for us? Is the number of those spaces growing, and are the spaces themselves expanding? I think the current moment in time is one of growth, not suppression, as indicated by the many changing opinions about gender and race that have been seen in the past couple decades. That said, times of growth are always times of danger for the growing. We have to be strong and vigilant, while simultaneously rising above the fray. You want change? You have to be a part of it, even if it will only affect the future world. And, anyone can be a part of it by simply joining the discourse. My only prediction is that we will continue to struggle for a while, until the bullies are exposed as our biggest fans, or better, the very things they fear. Even the binary minded live in a spectrumized world, they just don't know it yet. (Yeah, I just made up a word.)

On a smaller scale, I'd say the current definitions of sex, gender and sexuality have been muddled into a variety of all encompassing words meant to be identification markers but effectively amount to political and social positions. This is helping to create the divisive arguments ensnaring non binary movements around the world. We have given up trying to explain ourselves, and we defend that with a sense of entitlement that is, sadly, defining this recent generation of freedom fighters. One of the worst things a knowledgeable person can do to an ignorant one is to hide the truth. In order to be understood, one must first admit core truths, and in this world of counter spin, that is increasingly becoming harder. Every story now conveniently has another side. I think this is the main problem with social constructs like gender and race. We've given them such meaning, they now mean too much. To some they mean everything. I think it's time to dial that back and stop attaching such importance to the individual self. If I've learned one lesson in life it is that selfishness is the fastest path to ending up alone. My advice: learn to share. Your world will immediately be a better place. And, if you can't or won't explain yourself, don't expect to be understood.

As for me personally, I just keep getting up and living the new day. I don't give a shit what people think about me much anymore because there is just not enough time in the day. All I really have to do is live life until it's gone, and treat others right while I'm here. Just like the world issues you mentioned, I have always been a polarizing character and this has always surprised me. I know myself to be good, loyal, honest and just. I've never quite understood my detractors other than to chalk them up to what could be described as a intrinsic jealousy of my free swinging gender and sexuality, or anger at my inability to label myself as trans or gay or some other binary. Otherwise, I'm not sure how a person could hate my gentle soul. After all, like Bryan Adams said, "Everything I do, I do it for you." Including my music, so if you love me, please follow my YouTube and listen!!!

Amanda

Miss Moonstar, you strike me as a woman who has strong opinions on many issues, and is prepared to be vocal about them. My question to you is similar to that which I have asked Miah but of a different focus. The question is "Given the ......what do you, as a female and a member of an ethnic minority, see for the near future of the "human rights movement", particularly those relating to ethnic and gender equality in our still male dominated society, and how do you feel it may affect you personally?"

Miss Moonstar

We all need to create a safe space for each other, we need to stop pretending that fighting each other is going to change ANYTHING. Fighting the establishment that wants us to fight each other is what we should be doing. Holding the guilty accountable, not staying silent. Too many people “don’t want to get involved”, because they think that staying “neutral” is peaceful and proactive. I have news for those people, 1.) you are already involved 2.) neutrality is no longer an option, not in these regards 3.) if you can stand by and watch a Black person be mistreated by the police, or see the huge number of Indigenous women who are missing or murdered, or watch women lose reproductive rights, or watch LGBTQIA+ people fall through the cracks and lose their entire livelihood in order to gain a fraction of efficacy...if you can stand by and see all that shit (and more) happen, and then look me in the eyes and tell me that you support all of those people but, you have to remain neutral; then you are NOT neutral. You made a choice, you are just too much of a coward to admit your choice. You are the establishment that we are fighting against and we do not want your superficial, complacent bullshit.

Amanda

Those are both insightful and powerful answers to a difficult question. Miss Moonstar, your words, in particular, should be shouted from the rooftops.

My hope is that those of us in our community who are willing to read and learn from the experiences of others will enjoy and find strength in reading our interview.

Thank you for opening yourselves up to us so sincerely and freely,

Take care and stay safe,

AmandaJane

#interview

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