I long for the day I can honestly say 'I love my skin' For it means that I've learned to love myself. And maybe I'll understand Why people say I'm pretty Because when you read between the lines You'll see that I'm saying that 'I'm happy to be alive'

after-21

March 21, 2014

Today it has been three years and about three months, since my mother kicked me out of her house. She gave me two hours to pack my things and be gone, or else..This is when I learned what was important to me, for I only took my books and clothes. My diaries. Not a single picture. I did not long to take the past with me. 

Today it has been three years, two months and nineteen days, since my mother kicked me out of her house. Her house, it had never felt like mine. This is where I learned that I had nothing. Why else did I not feel the loss of my supposedly home? Leaving 'home' shouldn't feel like escaping.I had not yet learned the truth gets lost and found by lies.

Today it has been one thousand one hundred and seventy four days since my mother kicked me out of her house. It was not my fault, I was just a kid. And I'm still learning how to do this thing called life without getting too roughed up. My childhood isn't a joke. I'm not laughing about the pain anymore. Those wounds are real. They should be treated, not hidden and ignored. As I was for most of my life. 

Today it has become clear to me that I never had a mother at all. That's why I never really missed her, just the idea of 'a mother'. And I have every right to be angry, for she denied me the only thing a child really needs; to be loved. Instead of teaching me how to cook, she taught me how to smile with tears in my eyes. She taught me to pretend so well, that I even convinced myself that my past wasn't still hurting. 

Today is day one of accepting that I am nothing more than the outcome of my mothers poor decisions. Of course it hurts. But her life doesn't have to be my legacy. I don't have to hate myself, just because my mother didn't teach me how to love myself. I'm not as weak as she wished to make me.

I've been doing fine for quite a while now. My mother would be proud. Sometimes I still feel like picking up the phone and calling her, my mother. But now I know the woman on the other end of the line never really was my mother at all, I don't think it will hurt as much when I don't. 

lets go somewhere….. | via Tumblr pe We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/93289696

sa paglalakbay, ang pinakamalungkot ay ang pamamaalam

Subic Bay Sunrise December 28 & 29

♚where fears and lies melt away♚