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aestheticemi01 · 17 hours
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Peaceful, eerie and hauntingly beautiful.🪦
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aestheticemi01 · 2 days
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“In our time together, you claimed a special place in my heart, one I’ll carry with me forever and that no one can ever replace.”
— Nicolas Sparks, Dear John
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aestheticemi01 · 3 days
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Happiest birthday @scorpius6689 ❤️
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aestheticemi01 · 8 days
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aestheticemi01 · 8 days
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aestheticemi01 · 8 days
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Hey I just got my first period and I'm so fucking dysphoric about it what do I do I'm so confused I feel like shit and my dysphoria is through the roof
Lee says:
I would start off by exploring your menstrual product options which can make it easier to cope with having your period.
Period underwear is probably the easiest product to use because you already know how to wear underwear so you don't have to worry about putting it on wrong. Period underwear has built-in absorbent layers and is reusable and discreet to wear, but some people might feel self-conscious about washing them at the end of the day if they aren't used to washing their own underwear and don't have a private bathroom, or they might have dysphoria about washing them. You will likely need more than one pair (at least 2 pairs) even if you wash them daily because they need to dry, so there's a bit of an up-front cost but then since they're reusable it can be cheaper than pads and tampons in the long run.
The step below period underwear in terms of usability is probably pads. They tend to be pretty easy to use and also don't require insertion into the body, but if you don't place them right sometimes blood can leak around the edges where the pad isn't. Another placement issue might come up if you wear some styles of men's underwear, like boxers, it can be hard to use pads unless you wear a different type of underwear underneath which can feel bulky. Similarly to period underwear, blood on pads might feel more noticeable than internal options, which might increase dysphoria for some. You will need to buy pads over and over, so even they aren't that expensive to buy, the cost of buying them can add up. If your family buys the pads for you or you can get them at school for free then that isn't a big of a deal, but it does matter for some people.
Some trans people swear by menstrual cups because they're reusable and cost-effective. Once inserted correctly, they can be worn for up to 12 hours depending on flow, and the feeling of the blood can be less noticeable than pads or period underwear since it's not coming out. It can also be useful if you like swimming or have swimming classes, and/or if you're in a situation where you're stealth and have access to a private bathroom to wash the menstrual cup but don't feel like you can hide a whole package of pads in your stuff. But it can be hard to find the right size/model sometimes, so it can require multiple different brands and sizes to get the one that works best for you. Some people find the feeling of wearing one uncomfortable, have a hard time with the insertion, worry it'll affect their IUD, etc.
Tampons and menstrual discs have similar pros and cons as menstrual cups, although tampons are not reusable and some menstrual discs are. In all three cases, the process of insertion can be dysphoria-inducing for some trans individuals, but you also have the benefits of not having to feel the blood. You will also have more security to avoid leaks since you could choose to wear a tampon/menstrual cup/menstrual disc and then also wear a pad or menstrual underwear as backup.
After you've figured out what products work for you, I'd switch gears to the long game which is trying to stop your period in a healthy way. If you're out as trans, talk to your guardians and doctors about trying puberty blockers or using birth control to stop your period.
If you're not out as trans, you can still try convincing your parents to take you to the doctor to discuss the use of birth control in stopping your period without mentioning gender dysphoria:
You could say you have a heavy flow and starting birth control will make it lighter
It can help with anemia because you aren’t losing any iron through your period blood if you don’t get your period
You could say your friend/s have done it and it helped them
To stop period related cramping and pain
You could say you have gross period side-effects (like diarrhea and more farting) for the week of your period
It can make your periods more regular (or make it so you can control when it happens so you’re not caught off guard)
Helps with PMSing so you don’t have to deal with any of that
It’s more convenient and you don’t have to remember to change your pad/tampon
If you’re disabled, it can help save spoons and effort and make your week easier
You may not be able to change your pads regularly if you’re disabled and that’s kinda unsanitary and the pads can break so stopping your period can help with that type of stress
Save money on pads/tampons
Save time having to use pads/tampons and keep visiting the bathroom during class
It can help with migraines if you get headaches or migraines near your period
It can help with PCOS, PMDD, and endometriosis if you have any of those conditions
It might lower your risk of ovarian and endometrial cancer (but increase your risk of breast cancer) so that's something to discuss with a doctor based on your family history and personal risk factor
If you swim, it’s better to not have your period (And it’s inconvenient for athletes in general)
It can help regulate your mood (especially if you’re mentally ill and find mood fluctuations around your period hard to handle)
Why have a period when you can not have one? Some people feel there are no positive things about having a period because they feel it is inconvenient/[insert personal adjectives]
It’s pretty safe and many people do it, and if your doctor prescribes it and monitors you then there’s not a big risk in it
How do I talk about birth control with my dad?
Here’s a NY Times article called “For the Teen Who No Longer Wants a Period”, I’d start the conversation by sending them that link then if they ask more, give them the excuses above!
Finally, there are coping strategies that you can explore to manage the feelings of dysphoria that you may experience when you have your period-- this post has more info on that.
Followers, any advice for anon?
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aestheticemi01 · 8 days
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The one thing about periods which is fine is....that....uh....umm.... hang on a minute..... I'm getting there....so....uh...
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aestheticemi01 · 9 days
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aestheticemi01 · 10 days
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When you felt terrible for being different, that was real.
When you felt like throwing up out of anxiety, that was real.
When you wished for some connection desperately, that was real.
When you felt suicidal, that was real.
Don't let anyone, including yourself, make you think that your struggles are,
not as bad
faked
should be forgotten
not real
Your pain is real. You did feel that. And I hope you get out of it soon. Do what you need to do to get out of it without feeling guilty.
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aestheticemi01 · 10 days
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when you're trying to sleep but your brain decides it's time to start listing every awful thing about yourself :)
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aestheticemi01 · 10 days
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aestheticemi01 · 10 days
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i have. a lot of big complicated thoughts about how people tend to treat depression as like. as if it’s nothing. like it’s the most basic easiest mental illness ever. why do we do this. depression kills people. constantly. people will throw around “depression and anxiety” and say they’re totally normalized nonstigmatized disorders and then you realize they only think mild versions of these disorders exist. i have a laundry list of mental disorders and the only one that’s ever actually put my life at risk was depression. if you throw around depression as if it’s the mildest least harmful mental illness ever have you considered shutting the fuck up.
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aestheticemi01 · 11 days
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aestheticemi01 · 11 days
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Can’t wait for this shit to end
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aestheticemi01 · 11 days
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I wonder what it feels like to stare into the mirror and not hate what you see
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aestheticemi01 · 12 days
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“I don’t know how to do this anymore. I don’t know how to get better. My head is a dark place and it only gets worse, day by day. and I have no idea how to stop the darkness from coming in. I have no idea how to save myself anymore.”
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aestheticemi01 · 12 days
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☀️🐇🌸🌱
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