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aamalaaa · 1 year

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sunrises & liquor (m) | myg

pieces of a puzzle

pairing: yoongi x reader

series: sunrises & liquor

rating: m(18+); cursing, alcohol consumption, smut, explicit content

genre: bar workers au, barman yoongi au, (kinda) forbidden relationship, angst, fluff, smut

summary: after a failed academic pursuit and a few meaningless and disappointing relationships, you decided to go back to what you never thought you would: the bar industry. There you find a family, friends, heartache, misunderstandings and one particular barman who just won’t get out of your head.

warnings: cursing, alcohol consumption (duh), soft smut, unprotected sex(wrap it before you tap it folks), angst, reader has issues (but is working through them), THEY TALK(?!!!), talks of toxic patterns

a/n: welcome, you lovely readers, to the final official chapter of this story! I had planned on telling you guys a bit before hand but I honestly didn't realize it was the last until I was writing it. Nonetheless, this is a very emotional one and I'm terribly happy with it. I've grown so fond of these characters it's kinda hard to say goodbye tbh. Fear not, I've been planning an epilogue to properly say goodbye to them. <3

chapter word count: 7.2k

previous | epilogue

How do you know, when you’ve made the right choice?

It’d be childish to say that when you've made the right decision you feel at peace or content with it, like we’re told more often than not.

Truth is, sometimes making the ‘right’ decision hurts more than the contrary. It tears you apart, fills you with doubts about yourself, the world and the people around you. It can shake your beliefs and change the way you view things.

And sometimes there isn’t a good decision per say. Sometimes, you have to choose the lesser evil. Sometimes there’s only a string of bad options you have to pick out of, and you really wish you wouldn’t have to be the one to do it.

But what exactly is right and wrong anyway? You’re not sure anymore, not after all that happened in the past few months. Not after what happened last weekend.

Not after you willingly walked away from not just a good thing, but a great thing.

And you’ve been wracking your brain all week to try and figure out if you made a good call, breaking things off with Yoongi. Because the only other option is too painful to face now.

You’re absolutely aware that you can’t hide your face in the sand forever, not without consequences. But you also know that you’re too fragile, right this instant, to come to the conclusion that you may have fucked up one of the best things you could’ve had.

Because you’ve never had him, you could’ve, but you never did. And sometimes that’s worse, isn’t it? To get a taste of what you could have, if you weren’t completely fucked up. It makes you regret every decision you’ve ever taken to bring you to this point, and that’s just no way to live, truthfully.

But now, you’re way too damaged to ever taint him with the inky darkness that seeps out of your every pore. You’ve done enough damage as it is, and he deserves better. So much better.

Yoongi’s a good man, an honest man. And from your own experience, that’s rare. He deserves someone who’ll be able to trust him, not jump to conclusions whenever they think they overhear something. Because he’s never been anything if not honest with you, and yet you weren’t able to give him your trust, like he had done.

Instead you accused him of something completely stupid and didn’t even give him a chance to explain before you went on a rampage, destroying everything that you had managed to build in the mere days you’d gotten to know each other a little more deeply.

That’s not something you wish to impose on him again. He’d never do the same to you, you’re sure of it.

And it fucking sucks to realize you’re just not good enough for him, how you wish you were.

Which is why you’ve been sulking all week, not responding to messages from Namjoon, Jimin or even Taehyung. The only message you had sent was to your best friend, when he had said he was coming over.

You even manage to end up being a shitty friend, which is a completely new low even for you.

It is what it is.

It’s not that you don’t want to see them, it’s more that you don’t want the endless questions that come with it, the inevitable attempts to make you change your mind. You need to stand your ground, for once in your life.

So you lay in bed instead, under mountains of sheets and fluffy blankets. You don’t even have anything to remind you of him, not a ring he’d have left when he came over, not even a shirt you’d ‘borrowed’ one of the nights you had stayed over at his place.

And it fucking hurts, because you miss him so much it actually physically pains you. Mind you, you’ve had your fair share of deception and love gone bad in the messy amalgamation that is your life. But this one hurts differently, it’s truly almost unbearable.

You don’t just miss him, like a man stuck in a desert for days would miss water, need it. No, you’re also incredibly mad at yourself for fucking this up beyond repair. For not being the person you wish you were.

You had once said you never lived a life of regrets, instead choosing to see your mishaps as lessons and signs that you had lived something good.

Now, you have regrets.

And you don’t know how to coexist with them.

You should’ve expected Yoongi not to be there on Friday night, when you begrudgingly got to work. But you didn’t foresee it still, and it stung like nothing else ever did before. You realized it was truly over, and that you had hurt him so much that he couldn’t even face you for the time being.

You ignored your friends’ questions and concerns all throughout the night, though they managed to bring warmth to your frozen, weeping heart.

Seokjin ended up taking his place at the bar, and honestly, he somehow managed to make you laugh a little despite your state of mind, considering how fucking hilarious it was to see him struggling to keep up with the influx of orders.

At some point, a random guy tried to flirt with you, and though normally you would brush it off and simply go on with your tasks, this time you almost lashed out at him. Because how dare he try and take Yoongi’s place?

It’s absolutely dramatic and the guy probably would’ve hoped, at best, to land a good lay at the end of the night.

But you’ve always had a flair for the dramatic.

You got home that night and cried yourself to sleep, because the whirlwind of emotions you’ve had to deal with for the past few days now is just too much for you to handle.

It’s too intense, overwhelming, too raw and it keeps on opening up old scars that you never thought would be at the elements’ mercy again.

It’s all your fault.

You woke up the next morning feeling like you had drunk a forty ounce bottle of whiskey the night before.

Except you didn’t, and you really fucking need to stop crying yourself to sleep.

You tiredly got up and made yourself coffee, drinking half of it before throwing the rest down the drain. You took a shower, put on a simple black dress paired with two wings of eyeliner, mascara and concealer to hide the growing bags under your eyes.

It took everything in you not to just call in sick and lay in bed rewatching ‘P.S. I Love You’, just to see somebody suffer more than you do.

So you grabbed your keys, inhaled deeply and locked the door to your apartment, unprepared for a night of suffering.

Which brings you to this exact moment, both legs wobbling as you stand a few blocks away from your workplace, a tight knot in your throat.

Surely Yoongi couldn’t have missed both nights, right?

Wrong.

How wrong you were.

Your heart drops to your stomach as soon as you walk in and up the stairs, noticing Samantha’s dark head of hair awaiting you behind the bar counter.

“Hey! You ready for tonight?” She inquires, a wide smile stretching her plump lips.

“Um- yeah,” You clear your throat as you make your way behind the bar, “Is Yoongi not coming in tonight?”

The look on her face is enough to let you know she knows what’s been happening. “No.. he’s sick.”

Sick. Yeah.

“We’ll have fun though, don’t worry! It’s been ages since I’ve worked the Saturday night shift!”

“Yeah, I’m excited for us to work a busy shift together,” You try your best to seem at least a little enthusiastic. “Though, just a warning, I’m not drinking tonight.”

She laughs lightly at this. “No worries, me neither, I drank enough for three people last night.”

“Was it your birthday and I spaced out or something?”

“Ahhh no, don’t worry, my birthday’s in June.” She starts, fiddling nervously with her thumbs.

“Actually, I kinda met someone two weeks ago and we’ve been hitting it off like crazy.. we might have gone overboard last night.” She giggles sheepishly.

“Oh!” You clap your hands excitedly. Finally, some good news. “And who could that gentleman be?”

You notice a wild blush taking over her cheeks.

“Actually.. her name’s Lisa.”

“Do I know her?” You ask excitedly.

Sam shakes her head no. “Well.. actually maybe. She’s been here a few times, though that’s not how I’ve met her. Weird coincidence uh?”

“Damn, that’s wild! Well, if you ever feel like bringing her over to one of our gatherings, I’d be so happy to officially meet her!”

Before you know it, you’re wrapped up in a warm embrace. “Once we know what’s what, I will for sure. Thanks babe.”

You both part after a few seconds, a wide smile stretching your lips, the gesture enough to make you forget your worries for a few moments.

“Of course, you deserve all the happiness in the world Sammy.” You take her hand in yours, overcome by emotions.

You don’t exactly know why you’re so happy about this, you just are.

Sam gives your hand a light squeeze. “So do you. You know that, right?”

You gaze at the ground, unsure what to reply. Because you don’t deserve all the happiness in the world, not like Samantha does.

“Babe..”

A loud cheer startles the both of you,

“Oh hell yeah! We have Sammy on the floor tonight!”

Sam smiles gently at the young man. “Kookie, can you give us a moment, please? There’s a few kegs you can swap in the fridge.”

Jungkook looks confused for a moment, before realization dawns on him and he finally reads the room, his jovial expression morphing into one of utmost seriousness.

“Yeah ok.. If you need me I’ll be next to the cucumbers, freezing my ass off.”

And just like that he leaves the both of you alone, a serious atmosphere immediately settling over the room.

Samantha tucks a lock of stray hair behind your ear before speaking again,

“Look.. I know what happened. Yoongi told me. Actually, he called me at four in the morning, crying about how he messed up the best thing he could’ve ever had.”

Your heart aches at her words, you feel the sharp sting of tears behind your eyes, threatening to spill endlessly over the makeup you had carefully put on.

“Not saying that didn’t slightly bruise my ego, but, I kinda got the gist of it all.” She sighs. “Thing is, I’ve never seen Yoongi this fucking enamored with anyone, not even me, no matter how much that sucks for me to admit.”

Your bottom lip wobbles and you capture it between your teeth. “Which is exactly why this couldn’t work, Sam.” Your voice breaks mid sentence and you take a deep breath before continuing. “’I’m not good for him, I can’t give him back all that he gives me. How is that fair to him?”

She stares you down, bewilderment swimming in her eyes. “What are you even talking about? Have you not seen how happy he’s been? And if you didn’t, then believe me at least.”

She brings a hand up to your hair, stroking delicately as you desperately try to keep your tears at bay.

“You may have misheard him, expected the worse from him. And you know what? I don’t blame you, neither does he. He’s not exactly an angel, you know. And he does have trouble communicating at times, which is why it’s not that surprising that you came to the conclusion that he just didn’t care.”

A single teardrop escapes your right eye. “But what does that say about us, if I don’t trust him?”

“It means that you guys have to work on your communication skills.” She chuckles, swiping a thumb under your eyes to get rid of the tear that had slipped.

“It also means that you’re both human and have issues, like we all do. Doesn’t make you unworthy of each other. You just have to work hard to make it work. You have to really want it.”

She pauses for a brief moment, gazing straight into your eyes. “Do you?”

You sniffle as more tears stream down your face, your insecurities now unleashed for all to see.

“I do..”

Samantha cups your face, shaking you up as she does so. “Then push through this, I know you can.”

“But wha-“

“Ok I’m done freezing, can I come back now, please?” Jungkook asks in a tiny, high pitched tone.

You chuckle blaringly, drying your tear tracts with the palm of your hand. “Come here Kookie.”

The busboy steps behind the bar, an unsure look in his eyes. “I’m sorry it’s just- the cucumbers are boring and it’s cold in there, you know? And-“

You engulf the man in a tight hug, wrapping your arms around his tiny waist, your head now laying snuggly on his broad chest. You feel him deflate and he twines his strong arms around you, pecking softly at the top of your head as he does so.

“I was worried about you..”

You nuzzle further into his secure embrace. “You know I love you, right?”

You hear him chuckling, can imagine just fine the wide toothy grin on his face. “I know. And I love you too.”

Sam soon joins the both of you in what now becomes a sweaty hug. “Ok, enough.”

You all part, similar smiles etched upon your faces.

“This is all so melodramatic I kinda wanna throw up but also cry,” You laugh out, not used to having such emotional conversations. You don’t usually let your emotions come out this way, not in front of people at least.

But those aren’t just people, they’re your people.

On Sunday, you spend the day crying over a diverse array of romantic movies, one after the other until your eyes are so puffy and your head is pounding so much that you have to stop and take a nap.

The nap becomes night and you wake up on Monday morning, oddly refreshed.

Because you’ve cried so much you don’t think you can give more. And maybe that’s what you needed, to finally take a step in the right direction and confront your feelings.

What was it, exactly, that had made you pull away from Yoongi? It’s not the stupid assumptions you had made when you heard his conversation with Namjoon. It’s almost like somehow, in the back of your mind you had always known Yoongi would never talk about you that way.

Which means that you do trust him, even if not fully yet. Trust is gained slowly, and you think Yoongi would show you everyday that he is trustworthy, if you'd let him.

If you’re being honest, the realization doesn’t make you feel better in the slightest. Because there's still something that’s been bugging you, keeping you from accepting him in your life.

And yeah, you definitely do not feel like you deserve him. But you could work with that. That’s not it.

What is it then?

You can’t pinpoint it and it makes you furious, that your own brain would sabotage you this way. What a fucking traitor.

After a full morning of pacing around, paying bills and pacing around again, you decide that enough is enough. You need to talk to Yoongi, and now. He may be avoiding you, but you still know where he lives.

You don’t really want to intrude on his personal time, but he’s really given you no other option. Because no, texting him is really not an option. It leaves too much room for interpretation and feels so impersonal you might as well talk to a wall and it would feel the same.

So you put your hair in a messy bun, get dressed and march anxiously towards your car, not even bothering to put makeup on. He’s seen you without it a bunch of times anyway.

The drive to Yoongi’s place is nerve wracking to say the least. You drive slowly, too slowly. And when you park in front of the complex, you feel like you got here too fast.

“You can do this,” You murmur confidently to the reflection in the mirror, almost laughing in disbelief as you do so. Because this is pathetic, you’re a pathetic mess. And somehow, you can’t really bring yourself to care.

You lock your doors and head into the building, waiting for what seems like hours in front of the wooden door before you gather all the courage you can and knock fervently.

There’s nothing at first. No sound, no shuffling, the television is seemingly off, the only thing responding is a loud silence. It scares you to be quite honest. What if something had happened to him, and he’s been laying on the floor for days now?

You knock a lot louder, with newfound confidence.

That’s when you hear the sound of a cat meowing shrilly, followed by heavy footsteps. Your heart races and you try to brace yourself for what’s coming.

“I don’t want whatever you’re selling, so please go.”

You almost snort out loud before the reality of the situation settles back in and you grow a lot more serious.

“Yoongi?”

There’s only silence for a while and you almost think he’ll leave you there, in front of his apartment, sad and alone. But then the door opens and you freeze in place.

“What are you doing here?” He asks in a croaky voice, coughing a little as he finishes his sentence.

“You.. you’re actually sick.”

Yoongi eyes you in disbelief. “Uh, yeah?”

“I— I thought you were avoiding me.”

Damn, you’re so stupid it’s not even embarrassing anymore, just very laughable. You’re a whole ass joke. You act like the whole world revolves around you, so much so that it hasn't crossed your mind that he may actually be sick, for real.

And he looks like he’s been suffering for days now. His hair is messy and his nose is so red he could give rudolf a run for his money. That’s without mentioning the dark circles under his eyes.

Even so, he still manages to look absolutely dashing. It’s really not fair.

“I’m not, I’ve just been barely able to get out of bed all week.”

“Oh..” You start, very shy all of a sudden. “Can I come in?”

Yoongi looks very confused but nods nonetheless. You dash past the door, only turning around when you hear the door shutting behind you.

“Woah.. your place is a mess.” You mutter as you take in the apartment. It really could use a little cleaning. Maybe you could do that, yeah. That’s a good idea. You take your coat off and wash your hands.

Meanwhile, Yoongi stares at you in absolute confusion. “Well.. yeah.” He coughs in between words. “I haven’t been able to clean it up, really. I’ve just started feeling a little better.”

“That’s understandable. I can help, I have nothing to do today.”

Cat settles at your feet, swishing its tail from left to right as the creature eyes you curiously. You bend down to pet it.

“Hi you, I’ve missed you.” You coo.

“Um, if you don’t mind me asking.. what’s going on here?”

You tense at his words, suddenly you don’t really know why you’ve come all the way here.

“I mean, Sam said you were sick and I thought you didn’t um—“ You scratch your head, “..anyway, I wanted to come talk to you.”

“What about?”

You stay in a crouched position, gaze fixed on the floor tile of the small kitchen. “..I don’t know.”

Yoongi’s feet enter your field of view and you shrink a little into yourself, refusing to meet his eyes.

“If I remember correctly, you ended things a few days ago.. It’s not helping me get over it, you showing up here out of the blue.”

You nibble at your bottom lip to stop it from quivering. “I know I’m sorry.. I’ll go soon, right after I clean this place up a bit.”

You stand up again and avoid eye contact, focusing instead on the task at hand. First off, you need to put all of the dirty clothes in a laundry basket. You remember Yoongi has one in his bedroom and you head there.

When you come back into the living room, you start restlessly throwing items in the hamper basket, under Yoongi’s scrutiny.

“Love..”

The pet name tears a small, pained whimper out of you. You sniffle, only to realize you’d been crying.

“Shit..”

Your movements soon become erratic as the mess in your mind grows exponentially, your breathing now shallow and ragged.

“Stop this,” Yoongi gently grabs your fumbling hands.

And you really don’t deserve his kindness. So you try to free yourself from his hold, to no avail. Which is exactly when you snap your gaze up to peer at him.

He looks concerned, even sad.

You smile through the tears now cascading freely over your cheeks. “It’s fine, I can help!”

“No, no. Stop, sit down, yeah? Let’s talk.” He tries to suppress a cough but you still notice it.

“No, you need to be resting, not talking.” You chortle humorlessly. “Got to bed, I’ll clean this place up.”

He groans and grabs your chin with one hand, forcing you to keep eye contact. “No one’s cleaning today, we’re talking, ok?”

“I don’t..” You start, unable to finish.

What don’t you, exactly? You don’t know what to say, what you want, what you’re doing here.

“What do you expect from me love? Because I want to know what’s going through that pretty head of yours but you won’t let me in.”

“Nothing.. you already give me more than I deserve.” You whisper, feeble.

“What, because you’re scared you think you’re not enough for me or something?” He starts, an annoyed lilt to his tone. “I’m not perfect either, love. And I’m not saying you are. But this has gotta stop, this— this self flagellation. You deserve more and so do I.”

“I don’t know why I’m so scared..” You sob loudly, feeling very exposed all of a sudden.

“There may be a hundred reasons why you’re scared. And that’s ok, I am too. It means we’ve got something good, worth keeping.” He draws a bit closer.

“And I want to make this work, I really do. But you gotta work with me, love. You gotta stop running away from me..” Yoongi’s voice breaks and you notice that his eyes are glistening with unshed tears, tawing at your heartstrings like nothing else could.

“I don’t want to run away, I want you..”

“Then consciously stop yourself from doing so when the need arises, and talk to me instead. Fuck, I’m just asking for you to tell me when things are bothering you. That’s all I want.”

“How do I do that?” You cling onto his wrists, afraid that if you let go he’ll disappear.

“You push past your doubts and just do, love.” He inhales slowly. “Like I’m doing right now.”

You tilt your head to the side, eyes wide open.

“You’re scared right now?”

“I’m fucking terrified.”

“Of what?”

Yoongi traps his bottom lip in between his teeth, looking to the side as he does so. “I’m scared you’ll run away again..”

It’s heartbreaking, how much hurt you’ve caused him. You don’t even know how to begin to gain his trust again. Funny how that works.

“I’m sorry..” The tears now fall steadily from your damp eyes.

And you had thought you were done crying.

“I know. I’m also sorry.”

You want to ask him what he’s sorry about, but you don’t. He must have a reason to feel like he needs to, and if it helps him feel better, then you won’t question it.

Yoongi shakily cups one of your cheeks and you automatically lean into the touch. “What’s gonna happen now?”

“That’s up to you, ball’s in your court. You know where I stand.” He hoarsely states.

You nod, knowing full well you now have a decision to make. And you better think about it well, because this is it.

There’s no going back after this.

After your frankly embarrassing, albeit eye-opening, outburst at Yoongi’s, you spend a lot of time trying to figure out if you think you can do this, hand your heart to someone else at the risk of getting it back broken and bruised.

Though if you’re being honest it already feels like it, and there’s no one else to blame but your pathetic self.

When Friday rolls around again, you still haven’t made a decision and it’s agonizing how long it’s taking you to sort through your feelings. But it is what it is and being the overthinker that you are, you can’t really help it.

You put on a tight black skirt, paired with a black flowy blouse and tie your hair into a messy bun, opting for light makeup for the night. You drive to the bar, anxiety filling every inch of your body, and stop to talk with Namjoon for a minute or two. You have a few moments left before your seven p.m. shift and you might as well spend them talking with your friend instead of staring longingly at Min Yoongi.

“Joon!” You exclaim as you saunter towards the entrance.

Namjoon brings you into a tight hug before speaking, “How are you?”

“I’m uh, okay.” You timidly offer.

The doorman nods and opens the door for you. “You know you can always text me if you ever want to, right?”

“I know, thank you.” You say sincerely, soon making your way upstairs.

It’s quite busy, which gives you the perfect excuse not to talk to Yoongi much. Though you sneak so many glances his way he must probably have noticed. And the thought sends heat straight to your ears, but you really can’t control the urge to just stare.

Yoongi looks particularly good tonight, white dress shirt with the sleeves hiked up to his elbows, shiny strands of black hair obstructing his vision from time to time, black trousers and a perpetually handsome face.

You can see, as usual, a bunch of men and women equally smitten with the barman, chatting flirtily with him and what not. You’d be lying if you said it didn’t irk you. Because he’s not yours and he could very well decide to take up somebody’s offer, after all. And you couldn’t even blame him.

So it comes as a surprise to you, when you come back from the lounge and overhear a conversation between him and a girl that you have been serving all night.

“..it mustn't be easy, if I had to guess.”

Yoongi shrugs. “It’s really not that bad.”

The girl giggles into the palm of her hand. “Are you doing anything after work?”

“Uh, well, I’m going to sleep like a log. It’s been a long night.”

You really can’t help the fact that your blood sizzles in your veins, ready to reach boiling point. But you can’t do anything. You don’t blame her at all, and if he wants to go home with her he has every right to. So you sulk silently and listen carefully still, being the masochist that you are and all.

“I totally get that. Then maybe you’d want to go somewhere sometimes? Grab a drink or something.” She boldly asks.

“Look um, you look very cool and you’re admittedly very pretty but, I’m kinda seeing someone? So yeah, I’ll have to decline. But thanks.”

Oh.

Is he talking about you? You’d be a liar if you didn’t admit that his statement didn’t release a shit load of butterflies in your stomach, flapping around animatedly.

The girl looks taken aback but smiles through it all still. “No problem, I had to shoot my shot, right?”

“Absolutely.” Yoongi chortles.

And so you go back to your occupations, feeling a little lighter than before.

When the night is done and you all head out into the cold winter air to go to Jimin’s place, you notice Yoongi hanging back as if unsure.

“You coming hyung?” Jimin asks, slurring his words a bit.

The barman scratches his head and sends you an apologetic look, which immediately prompts your heart to drop to the bottom of your stomach. “I think I’ll go back home this time, but you guys have fun yeah?”

“Suit yourself, grandpa.” Jimin sticks his tongue out.

You all wave him goodbye and pile into Namjoon’s car, Jungkook sitting in the passenger's seat, as usual, and you and Jimin next to each other. He bends down to whisper against your ear,

“Don’t take it personally, alright?”

Thing is, you really want to believe Jimin and convince yourself it's not personal. But you know damn well it is, and the way your stomach twists is enough proof of that.

As soon as you open the door to Jimin’s apartment you notice a bright red head of hair peeking through the slightly ajar bedroom door. “Hey, you guys are finally here!”

You send Jimin a questioning look but he simply waves you off and makes his way towards a very cozy looking Hoseok, leaving a loud smooch on the latter’s cheek as soon as he reaches him. “Hey babe.”

Jungkook whispers next to your ear, “Since the fuck when..?”

“I have no idea..” You murmur back.

Jimin looks back at the three of you, a bored expression etched upon his face. “You guys coming in or..?”

The three of you break into a chorus of ‘yes’s and ‘sorry’s before taking off your winter garment and cracking open a cold beer.

And it’s all very fun and lighthearted, the same type of banter as usual. Everyone looks happy.

Everyone except you. Because as much as you want to appreciate this, there’s something missing. An integral part of the group that makes it impossible for you to stay present and participate as much as you’d like.

A part of your heart is missing.

Which is why you suddenly get up and grab your things, ordering a cab from your cellphone as you do so. Your friends look at you in stunned silence. That is until Jimin speaks,

“Babe, what are you doing?”

“Making things right,” You resolutely say as you put your boots back on, not even bothering to zip them up.

Your friends send you a knowing look.

“Text us if you need something,” Namjoon gently says.

As soon as you have your coat on you wave them off and head downstairs to wait for your cab. The night is freezing and the snow falls steadily in thick crystals, decorating the city streets and roofs in blankets of white. You’re not really one to stare in wonder at the snow if you have to be honest. But there’s something quite magical about it tonight.

It thankfully doesn’t take long for the car to arrive and so you jump in, a little nervous but also finally at peace with yourself. You’ve known all along that this is what you want, truly want.

You just needed to see for yourself, just how incomplete the pieces of your heart felt without him.

The silence around you is unnerving, to say the least.

There’s a faint static sound somewhere, as if an old untuned amplifier was left on. Then there’s the sound of your thoughts, so loud in their utmost quietness. They scare you, to be quite frank.

You stand in front of Yoongi’s door for what feels like hours, though it’s probably more like three minutes or so. You almost gather enough courage to knock when the door suddenly opens completely, revealing a distraught looking Yoongi.

“Hey..?” You dip your toe into the troubled waters first. “Is this a wrong time?”

He blinks a few times, fluttering his thick eyelashes as he does, “Uh, no. I was just— I was going to Jimin’s.”

“Oh,” You manage to say through the confusion clouding your mind. “I’m sorry, I can come back another time..”

“No!” Yoongi hastily replies, tucking a wild strand of hair behind his ear. “I was coming to see you.. I shouldn’t have left earlier. I just— I wasn’t sure if you wanted me there.”

You stare at him, heart squeezing painfully in your chest at the honest answer. How much more could you make this man endure?

“Do you.. wanna come in?” He asks, an earnest lilt to his tone.

“Yeah, I can do that.”

You follow after the barman and take your boots off, soon followed by your winter garments.

As soon as you’ve gotten rid of your many layers you notice a black ball of fluff watching you curiously from under the couch. “Come here baby!”

The cat swiftly erupts from the darkness and all but crashes into you, rubbing its head against your thigh.

“What a good cat,” You coo at the animal, leaving soft pecks on top of its head.

“I can leave you both alone if you want,” Yoongi teases.

You blush and clear your throat before standing up awkwardly. “Sorry..”

Yoongi stops laughing and gives you a fond look,

“I was only joking, love.”

Your lips part to form an ‘o’ shape and you honestly didn’t think this situation could be more embarrassing. And yet.

The clock ticking in the background is a great reminder of the reason why you’ve come here at this godforsaken hour.

It’s also a painfully embarrassing pointer as to why you’ve been trying to delay this conversation: maybe Yoongi’s changed his mind, maybe he’s done. You wouldn’t blame him.

But you still need to tell him exactly, once and for all, what’s going through your mind. You need it, whatever the outcome may be.

“I’ve come to—“

“What did you come-“

The both of you speak at the same time, prompting a nervous fit of laughter out of you.

“You speak first,” Yoongi chuckles before sitting at the kitchen counter, eyes firmly trained on you.

You nod and inhale sharply, it’s now or never.

“I’ve been wracking my brain all week now, trying to understand why I act the way I do with you.. and trust me, I hate introspection, she’s a bitch.” You joke to try and lighten up the mood.

It seems to be working, if the small affectionate smile gracing Yoongi’s lips is of any indication.

“Truth is, I’m scared shitless, Yoongi. I’m scared to break you, break me. I’m scared we’ll get tired of each other at some point and hurt each other more than necessary. But mostly I’m terribly selfish and I’m really, really fucking terrified that you’ll find me too much, at some point, and you’ll leave.”

The way your voice suddenly becomes thick and breaks really can’t be hidden, not even if you tried. So you don’t, it’s the moment of truth after all. Might as well get it all out, the ugly and the bad, the sweet and the desperate. All that you’ve been secretly keeping inside, hiding from him and from yourself.

“And that may be fucking selfish of me to say, but I don’t want you to leave, Yoongi. I’ve been keeping all of these fucking feelings in for so long I don’t know how to externalize them properly so, sorry if I mess this up. But what if, down the line, I say something that I shouldn’t and it hurts you? What if I start taking you for granted and treat you less than you deserve? What if—“

“Angel.” Yoongi firmly interrupts, standing up from his seat and stepping closer in the process.

He comes up to you, cupping both sides of your face to caress your cheeks. And that’s exactly when you realize you’ve started crying.

“It’s ok—“

You shake your head vigorously, sending a few tears flying sideways in the process. “No, please, let me finish this, ok? I need to get it out.”

The barman nods, staring straight into your soul. You take it as a silent sign to go on.

“Bottom line is, I’m scared as fuck. And I’m so sorry that I took it out on you. I don’t want that to ever happen again, not if I can help it.” You exhale slowly, “But I really, really like you. Actually I more than like you. I’m just not ready to say it out loud, so please bear with me..”

The emotions swirling around Yoongi’s eyes are so all encompassing and beautiful you can barely refrain from kissing him dumb right this instant. But there’s more pressing matters.

“So I’m asking you now, do you think you’d be ok with me being a little emotionally stunted and having a little trouble externalizing my feelings, even though I’ll try my damn hardest to communicate properly? None of the bullshit I’ve done since we’ve known each other. That wasn’t me trying.”

You lean into his touch and intently look straight into his eyes as you speak again,

“Because if you think you can, then I think I can sure as hell try to be the woman you deserve, Yoongi.”

The latter gently lays his forehead against yours, his breath now tickling your nose and sending a few strands of hair flying away from your eyes. You both close your eyes, concentrating on your other senses instead.

“If you can do that, then I certainly can try and be the man you deserve, my love.”

You break out in goosebumps, erupting like a thousand fireworks all around you. But not the big, explosive ones. No, more like the ones people often miss because they’re looking at the flashy ones higher up.

They always end up being the prettiest ones, the ones you remember when you come back home.

Kinda like the love Yoongi shows you, it’s not grandiose and flashy. It’s warm and sprinkles down over the both of you like a million confetti’s, melting on your skin and enveloping you in its calming aroma, like the sweetest of flowers.

Or like the damp smell of a forest after a rainy day: comforting and grounding.

“It’s ok if you can’t say it now, I don’t mind. But can I..?” He whispers tenderly, a few inches away from your burning skin.

You nod in approval, a small smile tugging your lips upward.

The rough but gentle fingers caressing your skin send shivers down your spine as you wait for Yoongi to speak again, warmth spreading in your chest akin to the glow of a fireplace.

“I love you.”

And just as quickly as he’s said it, sending the butterflies in your stomach completely haywire, he molds your lips together, an euphoric feeling you’d thought would become nothing but a distant memory.

But it’s not. And he’s there, holding you so carefully as he kisses you unhurriedly, as if savoring each and every second of it. And you press back against him in the same fashion, your wandering hands caressing his covered stomach, shoulders and biceps with featherlight touches.

You didn’t even notice when the pieces of your puzzle slotted back together again. But they're glued together now, unmoving.

The future is always uncertain, things change and so do people. But that doesn’t mean emotions and beautiful things aren’t worth living, quite the contrary.

You barely register when your blouse is being unbuttoned, soon discarded on the kitchen floor. Or when Yoongi leads you backwards to his bedroom, with careful steps, guiding you blindly but surely.

It’s not hungry and fiery this time, when you get rid of the items of clothing keeping you from fully admiring the beauty in front of both your eyes.

It’s slow and sensual, almost an out of body feeling.

You stare into each others’ eyes stubbornly, unwilling to concentrate on anything but the emotions manifesting on each of your faces as Yoongi smoothly burrows himself into the warm heat of your folds. His movements are so gentle you barely feel anything but pleasure and love, flooding through you in soothing waves.

So much love it’s sickening, and you want more.

You want all of it, greedy as you are.

He holds you tightly through it all, a kind reassurance that he’s there, present even though the overwhelming sensations tugs at every fiber of his body. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced, letting go of any inhibitions, insecurities and letting someone else handle them instead.

And he holds them securely as he thrusts in and out of you repeatedly, hands ghosting over the skin of your hips, thighs and cupping both of your breasts gingerly, squeezing them here and there before bending down and licking at your sensitive nubs with almost religious fervor. Like a man worshiping at the sacred altar of your body.

You’d worship at his any day.

It’s also surprisingly unhurried when you start feeling the edges of your orgasms taking over both of your visions, overwhelming you in the best of ways possible. But you both still keep it at bay as long as possible, almost instinctively.

He follows you closely in the abyss when you tip over the edge. You tingle all over, tremors coursing through you in an unbridled fashion while your eyes roll to the back of your head in what can only be called complete rapture.

Yoongi soon busies himself with cleaning you up, the both of you giggling like school girls as you tickle and tease each other endlessly.

Then, you stop giggling and start kissing again, sloppily and lazily, while you hold each other, burrowed deep under the warm covers of Yoongi’s bed.

Like a dam burst open, you can’t really get enough of each other now that everything is out there in the open.

It’s only when your lips are reddened and puffy that you part, in order to give them a well deserved break. But it doesn’t stop you from pouting petulantly, which prompts Yoongi to laugh uncontrollably at your clinginess.

You can’t help but laugh fondly too, the gummy smile stretching his mouth rendering you a fuzzy mess.

“You know what I’ve just realized?” You murmur against the soft skin of Yoongi’s arm, which is currently tightly wrapped around you.

“Mmhm?”

“This is the first time we have sex in a bed.”

“Is it? What about that time at your place?” He sleepily inquires, a hoarse quality to his tone.

“But we didn’t have sex that time, so this is the first time.”

Yoongi shuffles closer to you, nuzzling at your shoulder in an absolutely endearing manner.

“Damn, that’s actually funny as fuck.” He chuckles.

You tenderly kiss the smooth flesh of his arm,

“We’re weird.”

The soft press of lips upon your naked shoulder prompts a small shiver out of you.

“We are. And I wouldn’t want us to be any other way, my love.”

And that’s exactly how you know with absolute certainty, as you slowly slip into unconsciousness in the arms of the man you love, that you’ll make it through whatever ordeal is to be thrown your way.

Because you just fit perfectly together, understand each other like no one else can.

Two pieces of a puzzle.

a/n: thank you guys so much for all the comments and love that you have shown this story and these characters, it had made me happy in the best of ways! I'm so glad you loved these characters as much as I loved writing them. See you for the epilogue! <3

amala

taglist: @knapris @tarahardcore @tea4sykes @bonitaangel @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @princesspiineapple @funkylittlebisexuall @kikaninchen-2 @diorjgguk @purplelo @lil6nmrll @perfect-bae @bxcndd @funsizemarsbar92 @kookoo-kachoo @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @glowunderthemoon @idkjustlovingbts @minijagiyaa @bwormie @fragmentof-indifference @purpleunicorn051 @forevercarpediem227 @acquiescence804 @che-er-ful

#min yoongi scenario #min yoongi smut #yoongi fic #min yoongi #min yoongi fanfic #bts fluff #bts aus #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts fic #bts smut

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aamalaaa · 1 year

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Right back at you being a sweetheart too 🥹 we’ll both be misty eyed together, it’s all good 🥹💗 I can’t wait to express my thoughts... just know I literally opened up a word doc and I’m literally jotting my thoughts down as we speak and I already have some thoughts! 😭 but right about neither?! No wonder it holds a special place in your heart, because it truly is a wonderful series 🥹 I don’t think I’ll be able to get over it anytime soon and if anything, thank you for writing it – forget us readers momentarily 😭 💚 I’m so glad I stumbled upon your page / that fic a while back!

oh my god a word doc i’d LOVE to read that, i cannot waiiiit 🥹💜💜this all just really means so muchhh to me, especially since I really took my time writing that last chapter to make sure they got the ending they deserve 🥺💕

how could i ever forgot you guys kekekek💗 but it’s almost been therapeutic to weite to be honest and it’s been a GREAT writing exercise, and and that’s without saying that creating and writing these characters was like bringing a friend into existence with my words yknow?

im so glad you did too and it makes me so happy that you enjoy my writing❤️

#ask!amala #sweetsweet bean #glowunderthemoon

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aamalaaa · 1 year

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Of course I enjoyed it that much! 🥹💚 I had just as much fun reading the previous chapter, so I can imagine it was fun to write! And I stand by with the feedback and kind words 🥰 and you're a sweet writer, I appreciate you and your works too! 🥹💕 Also, just wanted to add: I just saw the notification and I ran so fast 🥹 so.. uh... let me go and read the final chapter and I’ll be back,, I can’t believe Sunrise & Liquor is now over with 🥹💚

oh you’re just the most precious sweetheart in the world aren’t you😭💗💗 i’m not misty eyed at all *cough cough*🥹

OOOOH oh i cannot wait to hear your thoughts! and I knooooow, me neither to be honest.. it holds a very special place in my heart and I’m forever grateful that such great readers stumbled upon it! I thank you, from the bottom of my heart💕

#ask!amala #s&l #final chapter🥲#oh lord my heart #glowunderthemoon #💜