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1luna1lovegood1 · 4 months
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Mobuis: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't
expecting this...
Loki : *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?
Mobuis: Holy shit-
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1luna1lovegood1 · 5 months
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Bucky: OK, who has experience with a kid that thinks he can save the world singlehandedly?
Avengers:
Bucky: Now everybody shut up and let me handle Peter.
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1luna1lovegood1 · 6 months
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Nat [watching the news]: "Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!"
Y/N walks in covered in ink]: "Well, maybe the squid was being a dickhead."
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1luna1lovegood1 · 7 months
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Y/n: I haven't seen you all day! Where were you?
Natasha: At a funeral.
Y/n: What? Who died?
Natasha: My feelings for you.
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1luna1lovegood1 · 8 months
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Peter: Change is inedible.
Tony: Don't you mean inevitable ?
Peter, spitting out a mouthful of pennies: no I did not
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1luna1lovegood1 · 8 months
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steve, checking on shuri and peter before a fight: are you ready, kids?
shuri & peter: aye aye captain!
clint: i cant hear you
shuri & peter: AYE AYE CAPTAIN
steve, looking up: did You keep me alive a hundred years for this
clint: but i really cant hear you
clint: i forgot where i left my hearing aids
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1luna1lovegood1 · 8 months
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Steve: Don't touch anything, alright?
Peter: Yes sir
Steve: Don't call me sir, you can call me steve
Peter: Yes ma'am
Steve; (facepalms)
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1luna1lovegood1 · 8 months
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Steve: playing mario kart with peter] I am crushing it. I've never played so well. I'm burying you!
Peter : You realize you're the top half of the screen?
Steve: NOOO!
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1luna1lovegood1 · 8 months
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Loki puts poison in peters drink.
Peter: *sips coffee*
Loki:
Peter: *finishes coffee*
Loki: Didn't the coffee taste weird?
Peter: Yeah, but I didn't want to hurt your feelings, so I
drank it all.
Loki: Alright, let me go get the antidote
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1luna1lovegood1 · 8 months
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*Y/N being proud about something she did*
Y/N:! i'm so going places!
Bucky : yeah, probably to prison.
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1luna1lovegood1 · 9 months
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Random person: How many children do you have, Mr. Stark?
Tony: Biologically, or emotionally? Because there's a difference.
Tony: biologically i have 1 (Morgan) and emotionally i have 3 (nebula, Harley, and peter)
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1luna1lovegood1 · 10 months
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Thor, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Tony : You did WHAT-
Peter: William Snakepeare
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1luna1lovegood1 · 1 year
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Peter: Am I in trouble?
Tony: Take a guess.
Peter: No?
Tony: Take another guess.
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1luna1lovegood1 · 1 year
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*Sam casually jogging*
Steve: On your left!
Bucky: On your right!
Peter: Above you!
Scott: Between your feet!
Sam: For fucks sake!
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1luna1lovegood1 · 1 year
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Steve: Violence isn't the answer.
Nat: You're right.
Steve *sighs in relief*
Bucky: Violence is the question.
Steve: What?
Nat: And the answer is yes.
Steve: NO-
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1luna1lovegood1 · 1 year
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Peter: Isn't it weird that we pay money to see other people?
Tony: Plane tickets?
Stephen: Concert tickets?
Harley: Prostitution?
Peter, holding their broken frames: Glasses.
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1luna1lovegood1 · 1 year
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Natasha: I pull girls
Steve : I pull guys
Y/N: And I pull on the push door because I'm a fucking idiot
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