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kiwert
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hsanf-blog
MY ARTVENTURE
cyaneclypse
cyaneclypse
stalwxrtconsocixte
Optimism and Loyalty
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I don’t want to be the weird always single, never does anything, loser friend forever.
Please give me one good reason not to take my whole bottle of amitriptyline so I can end my misery. One legitimate reason- I can guarantee no one would care or notice I was gone for days, and even then they would be relieved to not have to be burdened by me anymore.
#personal#about me#bye#depression#i hate me#i hate my life#suicidal#please kill me now#pls let me die#fuck it
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At what point did y’all realize you were the side character of your own life?
Your supposed bff leaves you on read and waiting for hours while picking others before you, your mom picks your other sibling over you (despite you being the hardest working, the one with a legit career and 2 BS/1 MS degrees vs 1 AD). Other friends wouldn’t even think to include you in any plans, and you could easily turn off your phone for a month before anyone noticed or was worried.
I just legitimately hate my life more everyday and I find myself jealous of the victims in the horror movies/shows I watch, wishing a serial killer would target me but even to them I’m not interesting. My bottle of amitriptyline calls to me to take it all instead of one night’s dose
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Do you ever watch criminal minds and wish you could be the victim and leave this world? Like man I wish that could be me
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I don’t have any real friends
Maybe if I did they wouldn’t be embarrassed to take pics together and post them like they do with their other friends
But nope, I get to see the snaps/insta stories with their “ily” and “bestie” of other people while I’m like but we hung out yesterday guess that wasn’t news worthy- bc I’m a fat ugly loser and no one wants to talk about being seen with me. Guess it’s nice to know where I stand though
#about me#personal#depression#anxiety#i hate my life#bye#why do i bother#its cool not like i supported you during a terrible breakup or we went on vacay together last year#fuck you too i guess#i sound like a pathetic 5 year old#wtf is wrong with me
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How can I not be anxious, depressed, and want to die when:
I am the only one of my friends who is single (and always have been, always will be)
I’m living at home with my mom at almost 30 years old
My friends are all engaged, married, and/or having babies. I’ll never have that
I’m so fat
I’m ugly
I am a burden to everyone who knows me and has to pretend they like me. I’m convinced people just feel sorry for me at this point and no one would come to my funeral. Please god let me leave this earth so that those in my life don’t have to deal with my pathetic self anymore
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How is it that I know I have good things in my life, but yet I want to go so that I don’t ruin them.
I will always be alone, always feel like the outsider, never quite fitting in. Fat, ugly, pathetic. God, I want so badly to be gone from this earth. But I suppose my torture isn’t over yet and I will still wake tomorrow.
I’m sorry. I’ll never be enough.
#personal#about me#thoughts of a mad woman#depression#anxiety#i hate my life#i pray that i wont wake#or for an accident to take me away#im too cowardly to do it myself
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The trouble with working in healthcare is that I really know how to fake normal, how to say and do the right things so people don’t know how much I truly hate being on this planet.
Maybe that’s manipulative of me. Maybe I’m paranoid to think everyone hates me and I need a way out sooner rather than later. Maybe there is something really wrong with me and I should get help but I can’t do it.
I’m sorry to anyone who reads my pathetic posts, they’re my method of catharsis and are clearly the delusional postings of a mad woman 🤪
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I wish I could overdose on caffeine and anxiety
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True but it’s getting harder. Knowing it would be better for them if I was gone
Ya know what I’d like to do?
Die.
I can’t do it anymore.
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Dear no one,
I was feeling depressed all day, didn’t get off the couch
Had a brief text convo with some coworkers, said something and the conversation stopped and now I’m anxious and overthinking it all. Paranoid they started another chat about me bc I’m crazy and useless and should disappear
I really wish my heart would give out from all my stress, anxiety, depression, emotions, and health probs already and that I won’t wake up tomorrow. I can’t do this anymore. But ik I’ll continue to suffer
X
#personal#about me#depression#depressed#anxiety#paranoid#potential trigger#suicide#let me go#pls#i hate my life#i hate myself#am i crazy?#maybe i really am
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I’m depressed. I have anhedonia. Things that used to interest me don’t anymore. I want to die so I can stop feeling this way, stop being a burden and a bother to every single person I know.
I can’t and won’t say a thing because the pity would make me feel worse and less worthy, and I know they’d think I’m insane. I’m not. I just want everything to stop.
I want to stop pretending I’m okay. To stop going through the motions of normalcy. To stop making everyone put up with my pathetic and annoying self. I wish most nights for a way to get off this ride, someone please make it stop.
#personal#about me#depression#depressed#suicide#potentially triggering#self hate#anxiety#please someone#kill me#i cant do this
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If I didn’t exist everyone would be so much better off
Why can’t I disappear? I want to go away forever
#about me#personal#depression#depressing thoughts#anxiety#i hate myself so much#fuck everything#fuck it#pls let me die#i cant do this
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Idk why I even bother having a phone.
I could turn it off for days and not miss anything, no one would notice my absence.
I should just be gone, I’m a waste of space and energy. I don’t matter. Please let me go
#personal#about me#hate mysef#i hate myself so much#i hate me#crippling depression#depressing thoughts#depression#anxiety#just let me go
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Ya know what I’d like to do?
Die.
I can’t do it anymore.
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I hate myself, no one else likes me, no one would notice if I was gone. I wish I was gone so badly
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I want to leave, to stop suffering, to stop being a burden to everyone
I’m useless, no one would miss me or notice if I was gone. Please let me go
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Is it awful that I hope I catch covid-19 at work and die?
I’ve been praying for God to just let me go, maybe this is it. I hope it is
#coronavirus#covid 19#let me go#dark and twisty#i don't want to exist#no one will see this#thoughts#please
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